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Courtney Stodden

1Courtney Stodden Was This Year’s Slutty Pumpkin Patch Princess

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Am I the only one who has kind of a hard time understanding what Courtney says during most interviews? Like, she’s got cotton balls stuffed in her cheeks or something? (I’d normally insert an inappropriate gagging on a penis joke here, but the girl’s still seventeen, despite being legally slammed by someone who could practically be her grandaddy.) Kids these days, am I right?

Anyway, you remember the recent photos that were taken of Doug and Courtney while they shoved pumpkin’s up one another’s ass in public. This is what they’re talking about to Dr. Drew on his newest show, Life Changers, which is probably just as good as it sounds.

Way to go, guys.

October 27, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah

15But There’s Definitely No Way Courtney Stodden Got Plastic Surgery, Right?

photo of courtney stodden before plastic surgery pictures photos
Please. Please, please, please. Courtney Stodden, I don’t want to hear one more thing out of your twitchy little mouth about everything on your body being “rill,” because unless you have a fraternal twin out there somewhere (a, ahem, better-looking fraternal twin at that), it’s all complete BS to me. ALL of it.

Check out the other photo in the gallery who is definitely Courtney Stodden and who definitely looks nothing like Courtney Stodden.

October 26, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden

6Anderson Cooper Thinks You’re a Dink, Too, Courtney Stodden

I gathered that Anderson thinks Courtney‘s a trashy, rotten pumpkin-head with a mad facial tic. And I’ve realized, I’m totally OK with that and, as always, I agree whole-heartedly with what the Silver Fox has to say.

Love you, Anderson!

October 25, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

14Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison Were Kicked Off a Pumpkin Patch for Fornicating

photo of courtney stodden and doug hutchison pictures pumpkin patch sex hot pics photos nudes
You know, every time I try to type “Doug,” you know what comes out? “Dough.” I just can’t stop it. Even consciously trying *not* to type “Dough,” it happens. Like in that first sentence there. Which I suppose is appropriate, because the “Doug” in question is probably puffy, yeasty, clammy, and spoiled-milk-colored underneath those clothes. Consider me grossed the f*ck out.

Anyway, these two idiots were removed from a family-friendly pumpkin patch this past weekend for – you guessed it – exhibiting really gross behavior, behavior that should never occur between a child and a granddad. I don’t really have much else to say about these two other than, “Courtney Stodden. Wake the hell up.” And Doug Hutchison, “You are one nasty man, corrupting this young woman who looks positively prepubescent from the waist down.” I mean, does this girl even get her period yet? Or is that their clever ploy in birth control innovation?

October 24, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah

6Courtney Stodden Just Needs to Stop

photo of courtney stodden and doug hutchinson pictures photos sex pics
Remember how these two weirdos got their reality show? They did. And about that, now they’re shopping around for a network to pick it up. Naturally, they headed to MTV, home of Jersey Shore and Teen Mom fame. And really, what could be more appropriate? Maybe Courtney could even mentor these girls. Let the teen moms know that if they keep f*cking around, keep heading to the bars and beating the shit out of their gross boyfriends when they should be home raising their damn kids, that said kids might turn out to be like Courtney herself. But hey. I mean, maybe that’s exactly what they want – a slutty little cashcow so they can stop cashing welfare checks and start cashing royalty checks.

October 21, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Sarah

2RuPaul Seeks Courtney Stodden’s Guidance

A photo of RuPaul

I don’t know, RuPaul, I think you’ve got this on lock, but if you feel like you need advice from this girl, then I guess I can’t stop you.

Here’s RuPaul’s tweeted request:

And now for Courtney Stodden‘s lovely affirmation:

Oh, RuPaul, you’re always just so good for a giggle with your sassy words and your sassy ways! Have you guys watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? It’s universally amazing. Last week I watched an episode with my BFF, my roommate, and my boyfriend, and we’ve all been quoting it since. I had dinner with my boyfriend and his best friend, and as we were leaving, Boyfriend held his head high and told his bro “now sashay away.”

Anyway, did you appreciate RuPaul’s blatant trolling as much as I did?

October 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden, RuPaul