Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Courtney Stodden

Happy Birthday, Courtney Stodden!

What a magical day this is! One half of my very favorite couple has a birthday today! Courtney Stodden is 17 now, and we need to celebrate her like she deserves! My contribution to this monumental occasion? Why, a hilarious video of Courtney making silly faces and a few select Tweets, of course!

Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)

While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!

I desperately need to be locked up inside of a cage tonight because I am feeling wet… wild… and passionately frisky! Meeeowww! XO’s

Ooh, had a provocative evening last night in Hollywood. Awoke to yet another morning of sexual daylight desire. Mmm, today is gonna be hot!

Taking an invigorating stroll throughout the hot hills of Hollywood. I like it when I’m on top of them. It satisfies me. Meow! ;-)

As I soak up the last bit of heat out here on my sun-glazed patio in a cheeky bikini, my entire body IGNITES with desire for a steamy night!

While Doug prepares a delicious din-din, I arouse his appetite by shakin it on the kitchen counter to “Car Candy” … Just doin’ my job! ;-)

When is the world’s most talented 17-year-old writing a book, that’s what I want to know.

The Hutchisons Are Getting A Reality Show. Yes.

Did you squeal too? I think I squealed. I don’t know, I made some sound when I heard this news that made my little guinea pig run back inside his house. But anyway, how glorious is this? My new favorite celebrities and models for soulmates, Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden, are getting their very own reality show! And it’s about damn time.

I can’t embed the video where the Hutchisons reveal their reality show plans (it’s on Radar, and I strongly suggest you watch it), but rest assured that Courtney believes that “it’s going to be a reality show like no other. Out of this world.” Then again, it’s not finalized yet – the couple says that right now they’re being “seduced” by producers and they’re in talks of shopping it around to networks – but come on, who wouldn’t want this show to happen?

Other gems from the interview include, well, everything. At one point, Doug says “51 plus 16 equals love,” and Courtney corrects him with “51 plus 16 equals sexy love.” Really, have you ever seen this couple in action? They don’t even seem real. That’s why I included that interview above, just so you could see how outstandingly ridiculous a reality show would be. Really, just watch Courtney move her lips. It’s beautiful.

I’d watch the hell out of this show, what about you guys?

OMG, You Guys Have to Check Out Courtney Stodden’s Twitter

A photo of Courtney Stodden

For those of you who are as entranced by the magical tale of the Hutchisons as I am, boy, do I have a treat for you! Did you know that the delightful, beautiful Courtney Stodden has her very own Twitter account? You should, because it’s one of the most magical things that I’ve ever seen. Here, let me share a few of my favorite Tweets from the past week or so:

Slowly slipping under these sensuous silk covers as I lie down in bed & entertain myself w/the classic movie “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”. XOs

A soft sensation sweetly kisses my body as I prepare for a sexy hot photo shoot this afternoon. What a breathtaking morning it has been! ;-)

Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin’ my lips searchin’ for some nip! MEEEOWWW! ;-)

Just returned from a lovely Sunday morning service @ church today. Kickin back at home now while sporting a HOT mini-retro-jumper! CLASSIC!

Heading out to grab a delicious flick & take-out. I love nothing more than staying in and enjoying a Saturday night with my lover! ;-) Meow!

Woke up to a perfect morning; Romantic melodies softly playing, my favorite breakfast all prepared, & my pups licking me up & down… Mmm!

And those are all from the past five days.  This girl is on fire.

Courtney Stodden Does Pam Anderson

A photo of Courtney Stodden in a red bathing suit

Ugh. I did not want to post pics of Courtney Stodden this morning. How did this even happen? It’s like I got tricked, man.

Anyway, according to E!, young Mrs. Hutchison just finished a photoshoot titled “Court Does Pam.” And sure enough! The resemblance to a Baywatch-era Pamela Anderson is staggering. (Just to give you some scope: Pamela Anderson left Baywatch in 1997. Courtney Stodden was born in 1994.)

Image gallery via Radar

Doug Hutchison Is “Not Creepy,” According to His Mother-in-Law

A photo of Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden

Of course Doug isn’t creepy! Sometimes 51-year-old men just meet 16-year-old girls on the internet and then marry them in Vegas. That happens, ok? Don’t be naive. Wake up to the real world.

Another reason why Doug isn’t creepy for marrying Courtney Stodden, according to her mother? Girl looks at least 40. She looks like she was rode hard and put up wet, as they say. And I guess Doug doesn’t look quite 50? I don’t know, it’s really hard to follow the thought process of any of these people.

Here’s what Courtney’s mom had to say about the lovely couple:

“He’s not creepy. He is such a great guy, he’s so intelligent. I see why they’re together, he looks like he’s in his early 30s, and Courtney looks like she’s in her late 20s. It’s like they’re talking about someone else when they say bad things about Doug. He’s with my daughter and I wouldn’t want a creepy guy with my daughter. He’s a wonderful, great man.”

Ok, so if we’re using Hutchison logic, and if people always say that I look about 16, then that means it would be totally legit for my 23-year-old self to start seriously pursuing Justin Bieber, right? Our love can dare to speak its name?

LOL, just kidding, everybody, I know about statutory and creepers. I wasn’t born yesterday. Oh, you wily, wily Hutchisons! What will you say next?!

Image courtesy of The Daily Mail

Courtney Stodden, One Half of The Hutchisons, Has A Wonderful Mother

A photo of Courtney Stodden

You could tell, right? I knew you could. Just look at that picture above of that multi-talented 16-year-old. Good breeding, that’s what that is.

Anyway, it turns out that you guys love the Hutchisons, Doug and Courtney, as much as we do, so I’ve been checking around, seeing if I could find any neat stories about the lovely couple. And, wouldn’t you know it, I surely did! Because it turns out that Courtney’s mom, Krista, has almost as good a head on her shoulders as her daughter. And far be it from me to paraphrase.

From Radar:

“I am her mom-ager now,” Krista Stodden told RadarOnline.com. She has moved to L.A. to live near her daughter (next door in fact!) and juggle all of the offers that are pouring in from around the industry.

“Doug was managing Courtney’s career, but he has so many things coming his way that he just can’t handle it all,” she said. “It will be better for Courtney with me managing her.”

A singer and perhaps future reality star, her bombshell daughter has worked with her mother for years Krista said. “I used to produce her TV show, and she respects me and I respect her.”

Krista said she looks up to other mothers in Hollywood who manage their kids and she is confident that she will make the right business decisions for her daughter.

“Dina Lohan, she’s a beautiful lady, and I’m sure she loves her daughter, and she’s tried just as much as any other mother to make the right choices for her kids,” she said about the controversial matriarch of the Lohan family and often party pal of her daughter Lindsay.

The top mom on the block though? Kris Jenner who manages the Kardashian kids’ multiple careers. “Kris Jenner is a real business person who has her family’s best interests at heart.”

But when it comes down to it, there is really only one reason why Krista is working for her youngest child. “I love my daughter, and I’ve been a good parent.”

Thoughts from this charming little piece include “dear God, please let these people get a reality show,” “of course this lady would think Dina Lohan is a good role model for parenting,” and “oh my goodness, all I want for the rest of my life is to be able to watch this reality show.” What about you guys?

Image courtesy of CourtneyStodden.com

The Hutchisons Are Asking $3 Million for A Radio Tour

A photo of Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden

Jenn really went and did it, you guys, she really did. She got me addicted to the epic saga of Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden. What’s not to love here? Trashy girls, shady dudes. It’s the romance of the century, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let us miss out on a minute of it if I can help it.

But anyway, Gawker has got the emails between Jeremy Baumhower, radio producer, and the email address listed on Courtney’s very own website. And let me just tell you, I’m still laughing.

Read More