When I was a kid, my parents didn’t make me go to church. I went to vacation bible school every summer, but that wasn’t so much because I was into church, it was more that I really missed going to school and I thoroughly enjoyed coloring pictures of Jesus. But when I stayed at my cousins’ house, my crazy aunt did make me go to church. I can remember packing up some clothes for a sleepover and being filled with excitement until my crazy aunt poked her head in my room to say “don’t forget some church clothes!”
And that is how I know that what Courtney Stodden is wearing up there is most certainly NOT church clothes. Church clothes are modest and conservative: nice cardigans and skirts that are at least knee length. Somehow Courtney missed that memo and instead wore her usual mess (Courtney, honey, your toes go inside your shoe) to church last Sunday.
Is this appropriate? Is it cute? Does anyone understand why she insists on wearing that awful arm band?
Image courtesy of E!
November 30, 2011 at 7:30 am by Emily
If I know you guys, and I’m pretty confident I do, then I’m sure that there are times when you peruse Evil Beet at home or at work or on the go, and you come across our favorite shining star, Courtney Stodden, and you think to yourself “my, what a bombshell! I wish I could look as gorgeous as her!” But you can’t find the right daringly devilish dress or the right “foolproof for fornicating” frock, and there goes your confidence, right out the window!
But there’s no need to worry your pretty little heads anymore, because that lovable sweetheart, Courtney, went ahead and compiled some delightful style tips so we can all feel just as beautiful! For example, here’s her tip to go with that fashion photo above:
Seamless tanks/dresses are my favorite! I especially love pairing seamless tanks with sexy forming blue jeans. It’s easy to wear, shows off my shape nicely and it still exudes that ‘provocative edge’ that I feel every woman should embrace.
You know you want more of this invaluable advice …
November 21, 2011 at 6:30 am by Emily
11VIDEO: Courtney Stodden’s Breasts Are Completely Real Aside from that Big Round Lump Underneath her Pectoral Muscle
Initially, if you watch the video, you’ll see that the ultrasound tech and doctors almost flat-out say, “Yup, there’s your implant,” but yet when Courtney starts to squawk and the tech does it again, the “experts” reneg and say, “Um, yup, no implants here. You’re totally right. These babies are all real.” Love the backtracking.
You guys going to swallow this? Still think Courtney’s tittays are the rill dill (sorry, couldn’t resist)?
November 8, 2011 at 5:30 am by Sarah
She’s done it yet again: somehow I’m still talking about Courtney Stodden. I don’t know, you guys. Anytime I do, I hurt and offend myself.
This time, Courtney Stodden wants to prove to you that her magnificent rack is rill. (For a long time, I believed it was, actually, but these days? Eh.)
So get ready! Get set! Courtney has delegated none other than Dr. Drew Pinsky—the most credible medical authority around!—to help her prove to ye disbelieving masses that her gazoombas are genuine. Reports US:
On Monday’s episode of Pinsky’s Lifechangers, Doug Hutchison, 51, looks on as his wife gets an ultrasound on TV to prove her breasts are real.
“A knife has never touched this body,” Stodden confirms in a preview clip from Monday’s show.
While the results of Stodden’s ultrasound won’t be revealed until the episode airs, Lifechangers doctor John Diaz admits he has his doubts about Stodden’s bod. “Like most people, when I saw the pictures, I did suspect that you had some breast augmentation,” he told the aspiring singer.
And there you have it: Courtney is pulling a total Kardashian, all in the name of Science. Are her boobs real? Can you even wait to find out?? I can’t believe I have to wait one whole day!!!
(Image up top via A Nice Ring to It.)
November 6, 2011 at 8:30 am by Jenn
Oh. My God. If this didn’t just make your entire Friday (kind of like it did mine), I just do not know what to tell you, guys.
Also, I’m surprised. I didn’t really know what to expect (Frankenskin? Surgery scars? A six-year-old girl?), but it definitely wasn’t this. She looks almost, dare I say it, normal. You know, normal? I know we don’t really apply that term a whole lot when it comes to this bitch, but I grudgingly suppose it’s OK to use here, just this one time.
Lastly, is anyone else as freaked out as I am that this girl drives? With those shoes? And those staged faces?
Anyway, thanks, Courtney Stodden, for making this girl’s Friday morning a little bit brighter.
November 4, 2011 at 5:30 am by Sarah
This is just like that time that Courtney Stodden‘s mom, Krista, said that Dina Lohan is a great mom, only better. And by “better,” I mean that this time, Courtney’s mom is talking about how she persuaded a 51-year old man to marry her 16-year-old daughter.
On the beginning of Doug and Courtney’s courtship: “I could really tell my daughter had the kind of love when you want to marry a man or be with a man. Even though she was just 16, I knew it was going to take a pretty big man to handle her because of her sexuality and because of the attention she gets.”
On Doug’s pure love: “See, with Courtney, with the way she looks: how is she ever going to know if someone loves her for how she looks or for her heart? I wanted her to be with somebody—and she wanted to be with somebody—that loved her for her heart. So this was perfect for her! To have a long-distance relationship to where they could just communicate through words, there was no sexual anything, we knew he loved her for her heart.”
On how Courtney didn’t need her teen years: “These people that say, ‘You could have waited,’ I really don’t understand this way of thinking. Why do parents think that kids need to have those teen years spent going out with different boys, going out in different cars, going out on the beach together alone? There’s a lot of bad stuff that happens in those teen years. They end up being killed in car crashes due to driving with people that have been drinking. Oh, but they’re gonna have their teen years. My daughter is safe. I know where my daughter is.”
And now she compares Courtney to Anna Nicole Smith: “The gay community has been so loving to her. I know that Anna Nicole Smith had a great rapport with the gay community, and I think they’ve been waiting to have someone they can connect with, and I think Courtney is that person. She is different and stands out. Frankly, we thought she’d fit in better in Hollywood.”
Well, at least now we know where Courtney gets that whole maladjusted thing, right? This lady doesn’t understand why her 16-year-old daughter should have waited a few years before getting hitched, AND she pretty much calls her the next Anna Nicole Smith. Um, doesn’t she know how that whole thing ended?
Does this change your view on Courtney at all, now that you know more about her origins?