Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Courtney Stodden

Nobody Takes Courtney Stodden Seriously

photo of courtney stodden pictures
And could you, with her wearing this kind of stuff ALL the F-CKING TIME?

The latest on Courtney, however, is not necessarily how useless we think she is, it’s how useless other people think Courtney Stodden is, and by “other” people, I mean “people who might have influence over her ‘career’.” No, Courtney and her grandpappy husband, Doug Hutchison, were kicked off ‘Couples Therapy’ this past week because Courtney refused to wear more appropriate clothing for a session or something. I don’t know. I only watch highlights of the show, personally, because I can’t stomach Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison side by side for more than thirty-eight seconds at a time anyway. But if you are one of the ones watching the show, fear not—Courtney and Doug were only banished for a day as “punishment.” A rep for VH1 said:

“I think that Courtney hadn’t fully thought out the repercussions of her actions … Courtney is not used to people actually enforcing the rules with her.”

Courtney later Tweeted:

“Dr. Jenn handled the situation tonight impeccably as a therapist & a human being with a heart.”

And you know, I feel like we do nothing, really, but spew negativity about Courtney Stodden and her situations and circumstances and … well, clothing choices. So here’s me, saying something nice about girlfriend—this is the most clothing she’s ever worn at one time, and even though it would appear she’s trying to channel Taylor Momsen with the flat-ironed, stringy platinum hair (and those g-ddamn stripper stillettos), she’s … well, this is the most clothing she’s ever worn at one time, and it happened in these pictures.

Hey, Nice Hair, Courtney Stodden

photo of courtney stodden pictures tits hair pic twitter photos
The caption to the above photo? This:

Getting lay’d on the way back home. ;) #yum

My personal response (here, not on Twitter)?

Gagging last night’s NyQuil gelcaps up. #whee and #urk

On a more serious note, though, Courtney‘s hairstyle is probably the best it’s ever been. This girl’s massive, overtanned fivehead is positively made for bangs, and it’s high time she went and maximized the area she’s working with. She’s looking better and better, what with laying off all of the black eyeliner and the Frosted Pinched Nipples lipstick, and the bangs—and pink lipstick—really suit her well.

As for the tits? Well. That happened, as it always happens, and here we are discussing her hair and makeup. We must be desensitized to what’s going on below the neck with this chick, laws yes.

Love It or Leave It: Courtney and Doug’s Halloween Attire

A photo of Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden

This is awful. This is just terrible. Can you tell what Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison dressed up as for a Halloween party? Can you?

Courtney is a “sexy unicorn.” Doug is “King of the Unicorns.” And I am swimming in a sea of disgust and shattered dreams, because this is nothing but pure awfulness.

I just can’t even take this. A sexy unicorn, really? That would be like a “sexy Jesus” costume or a “sexy Mother Teresa” costume or a “sexy Robert Pattinson” costume. Some things in this world are just too pure and good, too deserving of respect and decorum, to be considered sexy, and to make them so is just so grossly misguided. The unicorn is one of those things. And Courtney will have to answer for what she’s done when the unicorns make themselves known. She will.

Also, if Doug Hutchison is King of the Unicorns, then I’m … I don’t know. Then I’m completely over everything, because this whole thing is a bag of lies and trouble, and I won’t have a part in it any longer.

Well, one more thing. Here’s a shot from the back:

A photo of Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden

Look at her hat, are those multiple horns?! And is she really wearing that tired old black bra with the clear straps under her corset? OVER IT.

What are you thoughts?

Images courtesy of Radar Online