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Courtney Stodden

12Look Who Got New Shoes!

[Image Removed on Request]
I guess the old, clear Lucite heels were just getting too yellowed and too cracked, and what better solution than to—DUH—buy new ones? Well, I’ll tell you what a better solution is, and then I’ll tell you probably the best solution there could be. The better solution? What Courtney did, which is buy BLACK Lucite heels so that there’s something to distract from the yellowing from all the spray-on tanner, and limit notice-ability when it comes to identifying cheap-looking cracks. The best solution of them all, though, perhaps? Not to buy cheesy Lucite stripper heels, period.

Also. About all that plastic surgery talk yesterday. It seems like Courtney‘s face has settled a bit in these photos, but there’s still no mistaking the fact that Courtney did, indeed, get something done to her head, and honestly … if I could say this without coming off like I support plastic surgery or whatever (because I don’t; I merely support a person’s decision to do what they want with their own bodies, even if I think they look f-cking stupid, which, in most cases, they do), Courtney Stodden looks a lot less rode-hard and almost acceptable.

Now if she could just dump those shoes (oh, and of course her creepy half-centurion husband), then we’d be in the business of maybe getting her a job at The Rave or Mandee or something.

 

September 20, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden

49But Hey, Did Courtney Stodden Get Plastic Surgery?

A photo of Courtney Stodden

No, like, again. Did Courtney Stodden just recently get more plastic surgery?

Here’s a little comparison photo, with Courtney’s new face on the left and her old one on the right:

A photo of Courtney Stodden

I’m totally willing to believe that the fuller lips could just be the makeup, but the rest of it? I mean, it looks like her face shape has changed a little bit, doesn’t it? Look around her jawline. In the old photo, she has a more rounded jawline, and it looks quite a bit different in the new picture. I also wouldn’t be surprised if she got little cheek implants or something along those lines. Here’s another comparison photo, with her new face on the left and her old on the right. It’s not extremely clear, but you can still see the difference in her cheeks:

A photo of Courtney Stodden

I’m not crazy, right? There’s a difference there, isn’t there? I’m not super great at recognizing plastic surgeries, and it’s always a possibility that she could be Photoshopping the pictures she posts on Twitter, but I really think there’s something going on here. What do you guys think?

September 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden

5Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison Are Ready to Talk About Their Marital Woes (For the Cameras)

Oh man. What a ripe, hot mess this is going to be. That being said? I’m totally going to watch it.

This is another exclusive clip from the new marriage counseling-reality show called Couples Therapy that VH1′s peddling, because really, what’s a better solution to fixing your dysfunctional, famewhore-based relationship than to televise it for the world to see? This is going to be a goldmine.

In the clip, you can see another contestant (or whatever you’d call people in this particular set of game show-like circumstances) saying that Courtney is “trash,” prompting Doug to get up off his weird ass, while starting to throw down with the naysayer. Later, when Doug is asked why he couldn’t just wait to hit it with Courtney when she turned eighteen instead of being a total creeper, he claimed, “I didn’t want to!” whilst grinding all over her knee.

Quality programming, guys. Quality programming.

September 19, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah

1Courtney Stodden’s Mom Wants You to Know That Her Daughter Is Doing Playboy

A photo of Courtney Stodden

Courtney Stodden‘s mom is the worst. Like, the absolute worst. Worse than Dina Lohan and Kris Jenner rolled up into a big ball of grossness. She’s worse than the idea that Kris Jenner directed Kim‘s sex tape and that picture of Dina and Lindsay making out. At least Dina Lohan never sold her minor daughter to some gross D-list actor in his fifties.

But anyway, Courtney’s mom has once again proven herself as the worst ever by making a statement to E! News about her daughter’s involvement in porn.

If you’ll remember, over the weekend Courtney made a tweet that said “no to porn, yes to Playboy.” We all thought that the deal was done, but TMZ said “LOL, no, Playboy isn’t interested.” It was hilarious, and we all had a good chuckle, but now it’s time to get down to business.

Here’s the quick statement from Courtney’s mom:

“TMZ doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Clearly, their ‘sources’ are different than ours.”

I almost believed you, Courtney’s mom, but then I remembered that you once said that Doug Hutchison is “not creepy,” which was a statement that forever stole away your credibility.

In conclusion, Courtney Stodden has a bad mom, but she might have an offer from Playboy to make up for it. We’ll just have to wait and see, friends.

September 3, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden

8Courtney Stodden Wants to Do Playboy, Playboy Isn’t Interested

A photo of Courtney Stodden

First of all, HAHAHAHAHAHA. And second of all, HA.

Courtney Stodden wants to pose for Playboy. We know that because she tweeted a tweet last night that said “no to porn, yes to Playboy,” and then a winky face and some x’s. Just by reading that, one would think that she’s already signed on to do the Playboy shoot, right?

Wrong! TMZ apparently has some “Playboy sources,” and here’s what they had to say about the whole affair:

According to our Playboy sources, no offer has been made to Stodden nor will one EVER be made. Our sources say Stodden “doesn’t meet the standards of a Playboy model” … adding she looks too “enhanced.”

One source added, “[Playboy] would NEVER take her. I don’t think anybody really wants to see that anyway.”

Ok, ok, listen: Courtney Stodden doesn’t “meet the standards of a Playboy model,” but Lindsay Lohan does? Really? And I get that Lindsay is way more famous and that people want to see her floppy lips and wayward titties just for the trainwreck factor, but this source makes it sound like the refusal is based on looks alone, doesn’t it?

I’ll just leave it up to you guys, because I really can’t think about Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Stodden naked anymore.

Who would you rather?
View Results
September 2, 2012 at 12:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden

3What Did Courtney Stodden’s Parents Get Her for Her Birthday?

A photo of Courtney Stodden

A puppy! No, wait, that was her creepy husband’s gift. Ooh, no, they gave her the chance to be immortalized on film forever! Shoot, no, that gift was from porn companies, far and wide. So what did Courtney‘s parents give their beautiful daughter on her 18th birthday?

A divorce! Yay!

The day after Courtney’s special day, her mom, Krista, decided it was time to make a statement about the state of her marriage. Here it is, because I know everyone cares so much:

“After being separated for a year, Alex and I are in the process of a divorce. In truth, we’ve been living separate lives for many years. It is time we both pursue our own happiness. Courtney is the most important thing to the both of us and she knows how much both her parents and her husband love her, and that’s what matters most.”

Now here’s the part I think you just might care about: do you think this divorce is happening because Courtney’s mom is so fond of literally whoring her daughter out? Because Krista here is always the one pumping Courtney up. She’s the one who said that her 16-year-old daughter didn’t need to wait for marriage, and that the 51-year-old creeper who wanted to marry her “loved her for her heart.” She’s the one who moved to L.A. to manage Courtney’s career (without her husband, natch), and who actually said that she looked up to mothers like Dina Lohan and Kris Jenner. She’s the one who participated in racy photo shoots with her 17-year-old daughter wearing stripper heels and underwear and pretending that cake icing was some other sticky white substance. And where has Courtney’s dad been? Probably huddled in a corner somewhere, trying to forget that any of this is happening. Because it’s GROSS.

But man, what a shitty birthday present, huh?

September 1, 2012 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden