1I’m Convinced That Courteney Cox Won’t Be Happy Until David Arquette is Dead

About a year and a half ago I got pretty brutally dumped by this dude and over the course of two months I went from being a total sadsack that would have killed to be his girlfriend again to relishing in his every failure. One day I was reporting my his most recent disappointment (which I’d learned about via Facebook because I’m so cool) and my friend said to me, “You wont be happy until that mother fucker is dead. You won’t be happy until he’s got his shit packed in plastic bags on a Greyhound bus on his way home to his mama’s house,” and I was like, “Oh my God. That’s the truest thing you ever said.”

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that that’s what Courteney Cox is doing to David Arquette. I was pretty sure that’s what was going down here before, but after seeing her awkwardly crash his appearance on Howard Stern yesterday, I’m certain of it.

There’s no way that Courteney didn’t know that Howard would go digging into the sad shitshow that is the current state of their relationship AND the fact that everyone thinks she’s getting porked by one of her co-stars. That’s what Howard does! But instead of letting David have his lousy hour in the spotlight, she came charging into his interview and made things all uncomfortable.

I’m already going to see Scre4m tonight, Courteney! No need for promotion! We were all alive in the late ’90s/early ’00s and are quite fascinated by the three movies that came before this one. Leave that poor man alone!

April 15, 2011 at 4:30 am by Molls

0Quotables

“Her life is pretty dull and she wants some excitement. She’s been married to Dewey for like 10 years. She’s been writing books. She’s completely tapped out and going through a major dry spell.”

Courteney Cox, talking about her Scream 4 character, Gale Weathers. Is this art imitating life, or life imitating art?

As y’all know, Cox is in the middle of a separation with husband, David Arquette, who also stars in the upcoming Scream movie. Can you imagine how bad that’s gotta suck? I mean, having kids with someone and having the relationship shit the bed has gotta be rough, because you have to share your kid and stuff with that person, but having to work with them during those distressing times too? ‘Best friends’ or not, that’s gotta be a bitch, even if it’s just a little BIT of a bitch.

April 13, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

2Scream 4 Premiered Last Night and We Have the Photos!

So Scream 4 premieres in theaters on Friday. Are you guys pretty excited? I am. I love cheesy horror movies, and the Scream movies, while not all that scary, were always pretty good. They make me think of my later high school years, and how cheesy that was, and all in all, it’s good, cheesy memory-making fun. I mean, I can’t really take anything seriously that David Arquette has done since then (or, wait … ever), and it’s going to be cool to see the Courteney Cox evolution that’s occurred over the past decade, and hell, whatever Neve Campbell‘s been doing aside from riding the Scream royalties, so yeah. Good times. It’s also pretty interesting to see how uncomfortable Courteney looks next to her ‘best friend,’ David, and how you just KNOW that Neve is on the prowl for some hot young dude (not David) since her divorce.

And also, did Matthew Lillard (Scream‘s original Stu) have some kind of stroke? That, and Nia Vardalos, who is absolutely adorable and whom I LOVE really needs to have some pose-coaching, because that pose she struck on the red carpet? Just … wow. And one last thing, I promise – why the fuck was Marilyn Manson and his fat hands there? … OK, sorry, I lied: Jamie Kennedy? Guys, he’s looking just so fine. SO SO FINE.

Anyway. You guys gonna go see it?

April 12, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

13The Courteney Cox Nipslip Fills Me With the Urge to Engage in Absurd, Gleeful Cackling and Clapping

Absurdity? Generally, I’m all about it. I have a flair for the absurd, just ask anyone who knows me personally. I’m the type of chick who’ll go grocery shopping, alone or even with another person, and will make animal noises throughout the empty aisles to see the reactions of the other shoppers in the other aisles. Loud, inappropriate noises at random times are, like, the best.

The only thing that really tops that? When you get candid shots of half-naked celebrities in your inbox first thing in the morning.

Here’s Courteney Cox, on her Platonic Friend Vacation Tour with the younger, way more attractive than David Arquette-dude that she works with, who she is TOTALLY not banging, right?

Ready? Set? BOOB.

(more…)

April 1, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah

0Quotables: Courteney Cox Talks About Her Divorce and Dating

“I have no desire right now. I’m not saying never; it just seems weird. I don’t even know how that would happen or how you meet people. I don’t like to go out. I’m not great at small talk … I don’t like to go to parties.”

I guess she’s getting a divorce. Though she doesn’t really come out and SAY it, she intimates it by talking about a possible dating life down the road, and generally speaking, you don’t go and reenter the dating pool without having been divorced. I don’t know. Usually, I guess. But we’re talking about David Arquette here – the man’s an overgrown child. Maybe an on-the-side fling is EXACTLY what they both need. Then Courteney can bring home a real man, show David what it’s like to be a big boy, new dude can act like his father, and the three of them could get into some kind of crazy, sexy role-playing business.

Or not, who knows.

We’ll see.

March 15, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah

1David Arquette Heads to Rehab

In a completely surprising move of ‘not surprising,’ estranged husband of Courteney Cox-Arquette has packed his bagging, sagging ass up and dragged it to rehab, where it’s said that he’ll spend time for alcohol abuse and, according to his family, ‘other issues.’

A rep for Courteney released a statement claiming that she’s happy that David decided to give up the ghost and go for treatment:

“I really admire David and his choice to take charge and better his life. I love and support him.”

Great.  I think Courteney’s got something here:  I, too, think it’s great that little Davey’s gone and manned up to his inadequacies, but the papers and tabloids are talking about this story like it’s all surprising or something. The man hasn’t been sober in public since his marriage split months ago.  If that isn’t an indication of something bigger and worse than, you know, a mere ‘poor me’ bender, what is?

David definitely needs all the help he can get, and who knows, maybe – just maybe – those two crazy kids can work their marital problems out from scratch. I believe Courteney that a lot of their issues stemmed from problems with David’s general maturity level, but I also think that full-blown, rehab-caliber alcoholism isn’t diagnosed after just a few weeks of drinking.  It’s apparent that his issue has been a common theme in their marriage, and if it wasn’t worth working out for his marriage, he should at least try to take himself seriously and fix it for himself – and his kids. He’s got a couple of them, you know, in case he forgot in his most recent gin and juice-induced haze.

January 3, 2011 at 6:30 am by Sarah