Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Courtenay Semel

Look Whose Sex Tape We Missed Out On

Because it would be too much to ask to just let a dead woman rest, Casey Johnson’s other “famous” ex is now coming out of the woodwork to make some rather interesting statements about their relationship. Courtenay Semel, who you may kinda sorta know as Lindsay Lohan’s first (secret) girlfriend, did an interview with E! yesterday talking all about her and Casey’s former plans to release their sex tape and get a reality show (check out the video from the interview here.)

The two filmed the tape during their happier days when they were living in Texas together and totally broke. Courtenay says that she and Casey filmed it themselves and after watching it, they were so moved by their own performances that the prospect of sharing the video didn’t bother them. Unfortunately, the sex tape never saw the light of day because the women were too busy using it as blackmail to extort money from their own families. And that’s pretty much the part of this whole thing that tells you exactly what kind of people we’re dealing with. Not only is it manipulative and insane for two grown women to hold their sex tape above their parents head in an attempt to extort money from them, but it’s perverse. The thing that should be embarrassing to the Semel and Johnson families is not that either of their daughters was a sexually active lesbian who filmed herself having sex, it’s that they bred creatures who find this kind of behavior acceptable and necessary to their survival. “If you don’t give me money, I’m going to show everyone this video of me having sex.” Can you even imagine?

Courtenay Semel Says Goodbye to Ex-Girlfriend Casey Johnson and Also She Hates Tila Tequila


Sometimes you just love somebody so much that you literally have to go on E! to bid a tearful videotaped farewell to her and then publicly blame her death on Tila Tequila. Which is exactly what Courtenay Semel did this week. Casey was literally her other half (how would that actually work, in a literal sense?) and she will never — probably — be with anyone else ever again. For the rest of her life. Ever. She will love Casey literally forever and ever. Literally. In the literal sense. Forever and ever. Not even figuratively you guys.

How can vapidity shine so brightly through grief?

Courtenay also mentions that she’s sorry she ever brought Tila Tequila into their world, “because she destroyed it.” You’ll recall, of course, that after a stormy and violent and drug-riddled relationship with Casey Johnson, which, I believe, involved one of them setting the other’s hair on fire, Courtenay started dating Tila Tequila. And then they broke up and Tila started dating Casey. And now Courtenay is on E! talking about Casey’s drug-related death and Tila’s blame in that, because obviously everyone was totally sober back when they were setting each other’s hair on fire and beating each other up, and Casey, at age 30, could never be expected to be responsible for her own physical well-being and/or sobriety.

So, ya know, this whole thing is totally insane, and it makes me super happy that I am neither rich nor famous.

Courtenay Semel Says Samantha Ronson Sabotaged Her Friendship with Lindsay Lohan


I’ve had a weird fascination with Courtenay Semel ever since she was on that random TV show where they made spoiled rich kids drive cattle. I think it has something to do with the way her first name is spelled. I just don’t think I’d be able to talk to her without being all like, “Heeeeey, Court-e-naaaaaay.” Also it’s a neat coincidence that the last sound there is “neigh” and she kind of looks like a horse. That was mean. Pretend I didn’t say it.

Anyway. Court’s on the cover of lesbo-riffic mag Curve this month, and what would she talk about if not her (non-) relationship with Lindsay Lohan? Oh, right, and that rehab stint earlier this year:

“I always said you’ll never see me get a DUI, you’ll never see me falling drunk out of a club, you’ll never see me get arrested, you’ll never see that side of me and unfortunately, it did happen. I did take responsibility for my actions. … But, at the same time, I think, you know, everyone scrutinizes, Lindsay for everything she went through, but they should thank her, because it shows you exactly what not to do … I would like to say that Lindsay and I would make a really hot couple, but unfortunately we were best friends and the media kind of ruined that relationship. Let’s put it this way, it’s kind of like another one of … my little frenemies out there was protecting their own self and their own relationship and threw us under the bus. But, for me, it was like, I would go to an event and they would start to say, ‘So you and Lindsay aren’t friends anymore,’ and I’m like, ‘Oh, really? That’s news to me.’”

Ummmm, is that Courtenay Semel accusing Samantha Ronson of planting rumors in the press? That’s sure what it sounds like to me.

My Lord, I’m so glad I’m not famous. These people are terrible.

More pics of the twosome in happier days (late 2007-ish) are in the gallery.