Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Christina Aguilera

Love It or Leave It: I Don’t Even Know How Christina Aguilera Got in This Dress

A photo of Christina Aguilera

No, really, I can’t understand how Christina Aguilera managed to squeeze herself into this dress. I am so confused that she’s standing there, in that contraption, without looking like she’s praying for death.

Let me just give some advice real quick: if you’re completely covered up in a dress that isn’t sheer and I can still see your nipples? Your dress is too tight. If I can see the outline of your belly button, your dress is too tight. If it looks like the bottom of your dress is squeezing your thighs together so that your knees are pressed against each other and you have to walk all weird with your calves out, your dress could very well be too tight.

Now let’s get a back view:

A photo of Christina Aguilera

See what I mean about her legs? But here’s another note: if I have to wonder if that’s the outline of your thong I’m seeing, then girl. YOUR DRESS IS TOO TIGHT.

If Christina actually feels good in this dress, then good for her. But I just don’t see how it’s possible to be wearing something like that and feel comfortable. Like, it’s not going to kill you to admit that you have to go up a dress size. It’s really not.

But, you know, besides the way too tight dress and her jacked hair, I think Christina is looking pretty damn good here. That is to say, I think her curves are kickin’. What do you guys think?

Just Because: Here’s A Picture of Christina Aguilera and Hillary Clinton

A photo of Christina Aguilera and Hillary Clinton

Christina and Hillary were both at this leadership award ceremony in Washington D.C. yesterday because they’re both doing really important things to help out all those starving people around the world. And that’s a really great thing, it really is. It’s a very important cause, and it’s a cause that needs all the help it can get. I think it’s so admirable that Christina is taking time away from singing about f-cking bodies to use her fame for something good.

But you guys know why I’m posting this picture. And that’s all I’m going to say.

Christina Aguilera Didn’t Say That Thing We Thought She Said

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Remember yesterday when Christina said this awesome thing?

“I told them during this Lotus recording, ‘You are working with a fat girl. Know it now and get over it.’ They need a reminder sometimes that I don’t belong to them. It’s my body. My body can’t put anyone in jeopardy of not making money anymore-my body is just not on the table that way anymore.”

Yeah, it turns out that she never actually said that. This news comes from Christina’s rep, who, on the topic of Christina’s “fat girl” quotes, said “she never said them.” But here’s what she did say:

“Actually, the challenge I’ve always had is being too thin, so I love that now I have a booty, and obviously I love showing my cleavage.”

Which, you know, is a little different. Sorry!