I have a bone to pick with Celebitchy. Ordinarily we are on the same page, but this time, the blog has gone TOO FAR. The headline there reads “Christina Aguilera Embarrasses Herself at Etta James’ Funeral.” WRONG.
Now, it is true that Aguilera’s version of Etta James’ “At Last” was overwrought. It is true that the girl knows how to wail. It is also true that, when Aguilera’s voice finally drops, low and soft, you wonder why the entire song couldn’t have been demure instead of brash. And lastly, it is true that Christina’s bronzer started to run. Gross.
So while I agree the song could have been soft and sweet, it was instead very Christina. Fine.
But it would be so terrifying to sing such a famous song at such an important event, I’m figuring. How can you give a song like that your “own spin”? How do you make it your own?
Christina Aguilera has long been one of my favorite voices, and anyway, you gotta know your audience. This girl knows her audience, for sure, because when she concludes her vocal acrobatics, the audience cheers and jumps to its feet. Christina got a standing ovation! How many people can say they got a standing ovation at a funeral? I ask you.
Now, if I were to change any one thing about Christina’s performance, I would add another camisole to her ensemble. I mean, seriously. The boobs, Christina! Put them away!
What do you guys think? Am I wrong? Is Celebitchy’s take more on the money? Did Christina Aguilera showboat at Etta James’ funeral?
Or did Christina Aguilera hit all the right notes?
January 30, 2012 at 9:30 am by Jenn
Yesterday, Sarah brought you that quote from Christina about how she loves her body and her boyfriend loves her body, and how she’s happy with the way she looks. I completely share Sarah’s sentiment that it’s wonderful that Christina feels this way, but please, please consider your fashion choices. Like, I just don’t understand why she refuses to wear pants. I don’t get it, and I never will.
But this isn’t about her awful, horrible fashion choices. No, this is about her awful, horrible makeup choices*. Because, you guys, look up there at that cover photo for Christina’s issue of Marie Claire. Look how good she looks! And I know, I know, Photoshop does wonders, but you can’t look at that photo and tell me that the lack of pancake foundation and that constant, offensive red lipstick doesn’t do wonders for her.
Oh, and seeing as how we’re already talking about Marie Claire, why don’t I go ahead and share with you guys a few excerpts from Christina’s interview?
On the entirety of 2011: “That was a rough year,” Aguilera admits, shaking her head. “Between my divorce and the other things I went through, a lot happened. It’s hard for anyone to go through that in public. But when you’re a celebrity and under a microscope, it’s 58 million times harder. I grew an even thicker skin after that hard year.”
On the criticism she’s received for her weight: “I’ve been through my highs, I’ve been through my lows; I’ve been through the gamut of all things in this business. Being too thin. Being bigger. I’ve been criticized for being on both sides of the scale. It’s noise I block out automatically. I love my body. My boyfriend loooves my body. My son is healthy and happy, so that’s all that matters to me.”
More on her body image: “I have certain physical features that I favor over others. We all have our areas,” she says. “When I worked on Burlesque, I lost so much weight that I was too skinny. I don’t weigh myself — it’s all about how I feel in my clothes. What looks good on one person might not look good on another body type. I happen to be very confident in my own skin. It takes time to get to that place, but it’s all about embracing yourself and your body.”
On her public image: “It is called show business.”
Oh, honey, is that why you wear all that ridiculous makeup and fishnets for pants? Because it’s “show business,” is that it? Sweetheart, it’s not worth it. Famous people wear all their clothes too, I promise. It’s ok, you don’t have to keep doing this to yourself.
Despite that troubling little bit there at the end – show business, honestly, my goodness – what do you think Christina’s future looks like? Will 2012 be her year?
*By the way, thank you guys so much for all those makeup tips yesterday! I’ll definitely be trying some of those products, and I will do my very best not to pull a Christina.
January 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily
“I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body, my son is healthy and happy and that is all that matters. Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny. As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all that is all the confirmation I need.”
That’s great, Christina. Really. It’s honestly great that you’re completely comfortable in your body, because it’s true, you have a great body.
It’s just the bad, bad fashion choices that put you so far behind everyone else. You don’t need to be packing yourself into skintight dresses and beat-ass leggings in order to show us all just how “comfortable” you really are. There’s tons and tons of other celebrities out there who have beautiful, curvy figures, much like your own, but even some of them, believe it or not, don’t feel the compulsion to make sure everyone else is OK with their new, curvy figure so much so that they need to put themselves under the microscope by a) constantly defending how much they love their bodies, and b) refuse to purchase new clothing, though their bodies maybe have changed a bit from previous years.
I mean, take this dress you’re wearing here in the post photo. As Jenn said this past weekend, it looks great. And it really, really does. Aside from the bralessness (which is never good unless you have either a flat chest or big old standalone fake tits, which you, in both cases, do not), it’s a really, really good choice and I have to commend you for choosing it. If, unfortunately, you didn’t pick this one out, you need to get the name of the wardrobe person that said “Ooh, yes, definitely wear this,” and never let them go. Ever.
You’re a gorgeous woman, and aside from that pesky drinking problem that you, you know, “may or may not” have, you’re doing pretty well for yourself. Now please. Hook up with some classy ladies who know how to clothe their beautiful asses and and go shopping or something. Do something besides talk about The Voice and make us pin you to blind items about drunkards aspirating their vomit in the night, OK girl? You’ll be doing SO MUCH BETTER.
January 9, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah
Christina Aguilera was smiley onstage at The Voice panel during TCA’s in California on Friday.
Wearing her trademark red lipstick, Aguilera donned a purple leopard print dress for the press conference.
Earlier today a report said that Kelly Clarkson would be making a guest appearance on season two as well as…
Miranda Lambert, Lionel Richie, Jewel, Babyface, Ne-Yo, Alanis Morissette and Robin Thicke.
The successful show is coming back for a second season and will premiere after the Super Bowl.
No mention! They made no mention of how cute that dress is. Apparently it is by Thomas Wylde. I actually am really into it; the monochrome leopard print really looks so nice against all the orange. I used to have seatcovers in my car with that exact print, and I had an orange steering wheel cover, and I just really liked the orange and gray together, y’know? (Yes, Celebuzz claims that the dress is purple, but I’m not buying it.)
I also love how flowy and, um, summery the dress is. Other things I like: the shoes, the hair. Yes, the hair. To quote the fictional Fran Fine, “Big hair makes the hips look smaller.” I wish my hair could hold a color like that. So vibrant!
Also, her skin is so smooth, so perfect and unblemished. There is such a fine line between ‘radiant’ and ‘radioactive,’ and a classy lady always knows just how much bronzer to apply to a collarbone.
I’m not quite as sure about that makeup—false eyelashes, yeeeesh—but I guess the idea is to be able to see it from the stage. These photos do Christina no favors, however: her legs are crossed in all of them, and the fabric’s pattern makes it hard to see where the actual dress stops and starts.
And I think that’s it! I think I covered everything! What do you think, you guys? Am I missing anything?
January 7, 2012 at 7:30 am by Jenn
Every now and then in the comments of a delightful little blind item, one of you will say “but what’s the point? We don’t even know who this is about!” And that’s fair: it can be frustrating to read some little piece of gossip that’s so intriguing but to not even know who you’re reading about. But you guys, sometimes those blind items get revealed. Sometimes we find out the answer. And this is one of those times.
Let’s get started by talking about a blind item that you’ve heard about here. Do you remember the one about a singer who turned into a “hot disheveled mess” who drinks way too much and keeps a baby monitor on her at all times so that her bodyguard can hear if she starts to die? Yeah, that one is Christina Aguilera. Nailed it.
You want to read more, don’t you?
January 2, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily
Christina is 31 today, everyone! Isn’t that exciting? Now, 30 was admittedly not the best year for her, but I really think she can turn things around this time around. I think now that she’s older and wiser, she can really get things back on track. Maybe she can stop drinking so much, and hell, maybe she can even put on some pants!
Who knows what this year has in store for Christina Aguilera? Only time will tell, but in the meantime, let’s take a look back at Christina over the years, shall we? And since she’s such a special snowflake, let’s do it in video form!