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Christina Aguilera

4How Do We Feel About Christina Aguilera’s Hair Today?

photo of christina aguilera bad hair pictures photos
Because I know lots of you guys had some pretty strong opinions about her hair when it was crack white, lavender, and this pink hot mess, so now I need to know: are we verbally fellating Christina‘s hair because it’s a thing to do, or do you, like me, think this is probably the worst hair girlfriend’s ever rocked in life?

Also, as a sidebar, I seriously need to know how much of that stuff is actually girlfriend’s own hair, and not something that she tore off Rainbow Brite’s busted-ass horse in a fit of rage when she heard that we didn’t like that ugly-assed, too-tight dress she wore last week. Because I’m sure she totally cares about that kind of stuff, you know?

Anyway, answer me this: how do we feel about Christina Aguilera’s hair today?

October 15, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera

28Love It or Leave It: I Don’t Even Know How Christina Aguilera Got in This Dress

A photo of Christina Aguilera

No, really, I can’t understand how Christina Aguilera managed to squeeze herself into this dress. I am so confused that she’s standing there, in that contraption, without looking like she’s praying for death.

Let me just give some advice real quick: if you’re completely covered up in a dress that isn’t sheer and I can still see your nipples? Your dress is too tight. If I can see the outline of your belly button, your dress is too tight. If it looks like the bottom of your dress is squeezing your thighs together so that your knees are pressed against each other and you have to walk all weird with your calves out, your dress could very well be too tight.

Now let’s get a back view:

A photo of Christina Aguilera

See what I mean about her legs? But here’s another note: if I have to wonder if that’s the outline of your thong I’m seeing, then girl. YOUR DRESS IS TOO TIGHT.

If Christina actually feels good in this dress, then good for her. But I just don’t see how it’s possible to be wearing something like that and feel comfortable. Like, it’s not going to kill you to admit that you have to go up a dress size. It’s really not.

But, you know, besides the way too tight dress and her jacked hair, I think Christina is looking pretty damn good here. That is to say, I think her curves are kickin’. What do you guys think?

October 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera

8Just Because: Here’s A Picture of Christina Aguilera and Hillary Clinton

A photo of Christina Aguilera and Hillary Clinton

Christina and Hillary were both at this leadership award ceremony in Washington D.C. yesterday because they’re both doing really important things to help out all those starving people around the world. And that’s a really great thing, it really is. It’s a very important cause, and it’s a cause that needs all the help it can get. I think it’s so admirable that Christina is taking time away from singing about f-cking bodies to use her fame for something good.

But you guys know why I’m posting this picture. And that’s all I’m going to say.

October 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

2Christina Aguilera Didn’t Say That Thing We Thought She Said

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Remember yesterday when Christina said this awesome thing?

“I told them during this Lotus recording, ‘You are working with a fat girl. Know it now and get over it.’ They need a reminder sometimes that I don’t belong to them. It’s my body. My body can’t put anyone in jeopardy of not making money anymore-my body is just not on the table that way anymore.”

Yeah, it turns out that she never actually said that. This news comes from Christina’s rep, who, on the topic of Christina’s “fat girl” quotes, said “she never said them.” But here’s what she did say:

“Actually, the challenge I’ve always had is being too thin, so I love that now I have a booty, and obviously I love showing my cleavage.”

Which, you know, is a little different. Sorry!

October 2, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera

13Christina Aguilera: Officially Awesome

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Well, not her new hair, that’s not awesome. Look at that mess. And not her new music, either. Ok, so really, the only reason that I’m officially declaring Christina Aguilera‘s awesomeness is because of this one thing she said in this interview she did with Billboard.

Here’s the quote, via Celebitchy:

“I told them during this Lotus recording, ‘You are working with a fat girl. Know it now and get over it.’ They need a reminder sometimes that I don’t belong to them. It’s my body. My body can’t put anyone in jeopardy of not making money anymore-my body is just not on the table that way anymore.”

YES.  GIRL.  YES.

I love this. I love it so hard. I am so, so proud of Christina for being a lady in Hollywood and being brave enough to say “it’s my body.” I am so proud of her for taking the word “fat” for what it is: an adjective, not an insult. I am so amazingly happy that a woman as famous as Christina Aguilera is making statements like these. You guys, I’m just seriously, seriously happy about this.

I just think it’s so important that Christina Aguilera is saying things like this, because if she says it, then maybe people will actually hear it. Her body is her body, and she can do whatever she wants with it. She doesn’t owe anyone anything when it comes to her body. She doesn’t owe it to you to be thin. She’s not hurting you in any way, shape, or form by gaining weight. To quote Christina herself, “know it now and get over it.”

And I’ll let my good friends Salt-n-Pepa really drive the point home:

October 1, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera

8And Here’s Christina Aguilera’s New Music Video, Too

You might have already seen a little piece of this monstrosity – I showed you a teaser last week – but man, what a weird video, right? Like, I don’t even know what to do with this. What am I supposed to do with this? What is Christina Aguilera trying to tell me? Is this a cry for help? Do I need to help Christina Aguilera?

And it’s not even that the chorus of her new song is “all I want to do is f-ck your body.” Well, ok, it’s a little bit of that. She’s a 31-year-old woman with a four-year-old son, and she has a voice to die for, I think she can step it up a little bit. It’s just … what’s with all that blue paint in that bathroom? Is that what she thinks semen looks like? And why did she beat the guy with a baseball bat? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed that there was pink glitter instead of blood, but it’s just not that great a sign. And don’t get me started on the I Love Lucy bit at the end. No, please, don’t get me started on it, because I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean. It’s like Christina drank a bottle of Grey Goose and vomited up a concept, and it’s just awful.

But what did you think?

September 28, 2012 at 11:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera