4This is Christina Aguilera’s New LP Shot

And does it look familiar? It should. Billie Holiday did a similar photo, like, eons ago. See?:

Original, right? Of course. If Christina Aguilera is anything, one word that comes to mind is certainly ‘original’. I mean, she cares about world hunger … She’s legit, guys.

The thing is, however, that lots and lots of people are touting this new LP cover to be, and I quote, “smooth,” “stunning,” “sultry,” and “sexy,” and since that’s a whole slew of ‘s’ words, I’ve got an ‘s’ word of my own to add to the ever-growing pile: scoured. This picture has been scrubbed, scoured, and sifted so that every trace of what Christina pretty much looks like today is completely obliterated. For real. Because while yeah, that cover is definitely smooth, stunning, sultry, and sexy, it’s also entirely simulated, too. ‘Shopped. Seriously.

Here’s a snippet (heaven help me) of Christina’s allegedly-new single, ‘Easier to Lie’:

Perez Hilton says it’s not, but hey. I’m not going to take his word for it or anything, come on.

What do you guys think of Christina’s look? Purported single snippet?

August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

4Christina Aguilera Wants You to Care About World Hunger

Yes, Christina Aguilera is filming a PSA for Yum! Brands World Hunger Relief. But why? It’s because she’s the new voice of Yum! Brands World Hunger Relief. It is now Christina Aguilera’s job to raise awareness and money for world hunger relief. I know a lot of people can think of some really catty things to say about that, but I’m not going to. I think it’s great that she’s doing this. Good for her.

But can I just say one thing? And I really, really don’t mean this in a mean way, ok? I sincerely don’t. But doesn’t Christina look like Miss Piggy? No, I know, and I swear I’m not trying to be rude. I love Miss Piggy! And Christina Aguilera just happens to look like her. See?

Do you see it? I can’t be the only person who sees it.

And while we’re remaining on the shallow side of this pool, did you watch that video yet? What’s up with Christina’s eye? That’s a booze thing, huh? I’m pretty sure it’s a booze thing.

But seriously, I think it’s great that she’s doing this. She could very easily spend all of her free time in bars or in bed or coming up with new and creative ways to not wear pants, but she’s dedicating some of her time to an important cause, and I think that’s really admirable.

August 3, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Emily

9Stars Without Makeup: Hey Christina Aguilera!

It’s Christina Aguilera! And her creepy, bloat-faced boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, who’s looking, dare I say it, a little worn out. Is Christina keeping him up late at night? Well I don’t know, but one thing is for certain—it’s not pancake makeup that’s keeping him up, whatever that means. It’s a thinly-veiled reference to the fact that Christina—oh my God—has left the building without her customary seventeen layers of acrylic and shimmer powder and polyurethane on, and we should celebrate that, really, because it’s like Christmas in that it happens maybe once a year (twice, if you’re one of those freaks who celebrate Christmas in July).

Can we also talk about how epic the singing competition shows are going to be this year? We’ve got Mariah Carey on ‘American Idol’, Christina Aguilera on ‘The Voice’, and Britney Spears on ‘X-Factor’. Which show do you think’s going to bring in the highest ratings? I mean, I don’t even watch these crap shows and I’m curious to know which of the three is going to blow the other two out of the water.

Who’s going to reign this year?

July 26, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah

1Love It or Leave It: What Christina Aguilera’s Doing Now

Here’s a hint: it’s not good. The yellow in her hair? Well, if we can speak frankly here, it looks like pee. Flat-out urine. And it apparently dribbled down your body and stained your shoes (which I actually love, despite the fact that they match the pee-colored hair). And the bandage dress? Girl, they’re so six months ago. I also see the skanky-looking red lipstick has made its grand return, and to that I say, “What the f-ck.” You were doing so, so well. This? It needs to make a comeback:

Was there something so wrong with looking clean and classy for a minute? Was there??

June 3, 2012 at 1:00 pm by Sarah

2Kelly Osbourne Says Three Nice Things About Christina Aguilera

From Us Weekly:

Kelly Osbourne had a hard pill to swallow on Sunday’s Watch What Happens Live.

During Andy Cohen’s “Plead the Fifth” segment, in which he asks tough questions to his first-time guests, the Bravo host addressed the E! Fashion Police critic’s ongoing feud with The Voice coach Christina Aguilera.

“You and my girl Christina Aguilera have been in something of a feud — say three nice things about Christina Aguilera,” Cohen prompted.

With her demeanor calm, cool and collected, the 27-year-old star responded smoothly, “I think she’s looking way better right now, she’s got a great voice and she’s got a beautiful son.”

Ooh, what a sweetheart!

Nah, that was nice of Kelly. After all of her public hate for Christina Aguilera, this is definitely a step up. I’m pleasantly surprised that when Christina was brought up, she didn’t automatically start foaming at the mouth, going all “blargh, fat bitch, arrrgh, buuuh.”

But still, this reminds me of the time that I did a bit of group therapy when I was like 14. I had to sit in a circle with a bunch of other kids, and we all had to go around and say three nice things about each person. Inevitably, someone would always say “she’s nice,” and the therapist would say “no, ‘nice’ doesn’t count, ‘nice’ doesn’t mean anything.” If you’re forced to compliment someone, it’s always going to sound contrived. That’s just the way it works.

But we have to give Kelly a little bit of credit, right? Otherwise she’s never going to learn. Baby steps, you know. Baby steps.

May 1, 2012 at 11:30 am by Emily

2Some Boy Band Talks Trash About Christina Aguilera

Have you heard about all these boy bands that have been popping up lately? It’s kind of bizarre. The most popular ones, as far as I can tell, are One Direction and The Wanted. I see them fairly regularly in the news, but I’ve never really read up on them or watched them perform or listen to their songs or anything like that. I’ve never done any of that because I can’t bring myself to care about them. At all. Is this what adults felt like when I was going crazy over NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys? This overwhelming sense of not caring whatsoever?

Or, ok, now I care just a tiny bit about The Wanted. They performed on The Voice, which I am woefully behind on, and they were not a fan of Christina Aguilera, her demeanor, or her looks. To put it simply, oh snap:

The Wanted are known to be the more outspoken and irreverent of the current crop of boy bands — and the most likely to speak their minds. In an interview with morning host, Sarah Lee, The Wanted voiced their opinion onChristina Aguilera and the judgement is not good.

The guys have performed on both American Idol and The Voice. On Idol, Max George jumped off the stage to give a little hug and a kiss to judge Jennifer Lopez. When asked why he didn’t do that to Christina Aguilera on The Voice, Max replied, “She’s was bit scary, to be honest.”

Tom Parker jumped in to add, “She’s a total bitch.” When pressed, he added, “She might not be a bitch in real life but to us she was a bitch. She just sat there and didn’t speak to us. Wouldn’t even look at us.”

The other guys made light of his comments and Nathan Sykes jumped in to remind them of how Christina appeared to diss Justin Bieber after his appearance as well.

The interview turned back to Max, who was asked what he was thinking when he jumped off the stage on Idol and kissed Jennifer Lopez. “Yeah well J-Lo’s hot. Christina’s nothing special so…” His comments elicited a round of “oohs” from band members and the audience.

That’s one for Jennifer Lopez, zero for Christina Aguilera — as far as the Wanted are concerned.

I’m sure it’s not a stretch at all for these boys to think Christina wasn’t the nicest person. From what I’ve seen of the show, the first season and the first half of the second, she definitely has bitchy tendencies. But this interview is one of the most insufferable things I’ve ever heard, and that’s coming from a lady who spends several hours every day reading quotes and interviews from people like Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan. I thought maybe they were just super young, like 15- and 16-year-old boys, but most of them are my age, and the youngest one is 19. At that age, there’s no excuse for acting like a jackass like this, especially towards someone who could potentially help your career.

But let’s get to the real question this whole story has raised:

April 28, 2012 at 9:00 am by Emily