Yes, Christina Aguilera is filming a PSA for Yum! Brands World Hunger Relief. But why? It’s because she’s the new voice of Yum! Brands World Hunger Relief. It is now Christina Aguilera’s job to raise awareness and money for world hunger relief. I know a lot of people can think of some really catty things to say about that, but I’m not going to. I think it’s great that she’s doing this. Good for her.
But can I just say one thing? And I really, really don’t mean this in a mean way, ok? I sincerely don’t. But doesn’t Christina look like Miss Piggy? No, I know, and I swear I’m not trying to be rude. I love Miss Piggy! And Christina Aguilera just happens to look like her. See?
Do you see it? I can’t be the only person who sees it.
And while we’re remaining on the shallow side of this pool, did you watch that video yet? What’s up with Christina’s eye? That’s a booze thing, huh? I’m pretty sure it’s a booze thing.
But seriously, I think it’s great that she’s doing this. She could very easily spend all of her free time in bars or in bed or coming up with new and creative ways to not wear pants, but she’s dedicating some of her time to an important cause, and I think that’s really admirable.
It’s Christina Aguilera! And her creepy, bloat-faced boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, who’s looking, dare I say it, a little worn out. Is Christina keeping him up late at night? Well I don’t know, but one thing is for certain—it’s not pancake makeup that’s keeping him up, whatever that means. It’s a thinly-veiled reference to the fact that Christina—oh my God—has left the building without her customary seventeen layers of acrylic and shimmer powder and polyurethane on, and we should celebrate that, really, because it’s like Christmas in that it happens maybe once a year (twice, if you’re one of those freaks who celebrate Christmas in July).
Can we also talk about how epic the singing competition shows are going to be this year? We’ve got Mariah Carey on ‘American Idol’, Christina Aguilera on ‘The Voice’, and Britney Spears on ‘X-Factor’. Which show do you think’s going to bring in the highest ratings? I mean, I don’t even watch these crap shows and I’m curious to know which of the three is going to blow the other two out of the water.
Here’s a hint: it’s not good. The yellow in her hair? Well, if we can speak frankly here, it looks like pee. Flat-out urine. And it apparently dribbled down your body and stained your shoes (which I actually love, despite the fact that they match the pee-colored hair). And the bandage dress? Girl, they’re so six months ago. I also see the skanky-looking red lipstick has made its grand return, and to that I say, “What the f-ck.” You were doing so, so well. This? It needs to make a comeback:
Was there something so wrong with looking clean and classy for a minute? Was there??