Look, Jurassic Park was an absolute CLASSIC, guys. I loved it, you loved it – I don’t know anyone who didn’t love it. So popular was the dinosaur movie that DJs even made techno remixes of the theme song! It was a glorious time to be alive.
However, like most good things, they must all come to an end. Unfortunately, studio execs are greedy as shit and don’t know when to call it quits, so they keep making sequel after sequel, each installment of which is progressively shittier, and it’s embarrassing for everyone. Is that the case with Jurassic World? Eh, I’m not sure yet.
The technology for special effects has certainly got better since Jurassic Park 3 or whatever that disaster was called, and this one has Chris Pratt, and he’s all the rage right now, so I suppose it has that going for it, but like… really? You had THREE major fucking disasters with your experiment of bringing back dinosaurs and you’re seriously opening a THEME PARK for a shit ton of adults and kids to come to and get up close and personal with these things? You’re REALLY going to create a “hybrid” dinosaur, which is OBVIOUSLY going to get out and kill everyone? REALLY? I mean, I know it’s suspension of disbelief and all, but…
What do you think? Will you see it? I mean, all bullshit aside, I will be on this like white on rice, despite its ridiculousness.
Chris Pratt is hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live this weekend, and the musical guest is none other than America’s (least) favourite diva, Ariana Grande. NBC put out promos for the episode yesterday, and needless to say, they are… uncomfortable at best. Ariana has the personality of paint on a wall, and you KNOW homegirl was fuming that SNL dared to film the right side of her face.
I love that even in the still, she’s got her face sorta turned to the left so the camera catches more of that angle. I wish I knew why she was so nuts and what the deal is with the other side of her face. It’s not like she’s got some droopy eye or some shit, so I’m guessing this is pure Hollywood special snowflake insanity.
Chris Pratt will probably be funny, though!
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Anna Faris is ready to start a family with her hubby, actor Chris Pratt of “Parks and Recreation” and Moneyball! Yaaaay! They are going to have the cutest, funniest, most talented babies.
But before the loving couple gets down to work (heh), they need to tie up some loose ends. So: Chris Pratt asked his Twitter followers whether anyone were interested in adopting Anna’s beloved cat.
Bad move! Reports Us,
Unfortunately, Pratt’s inquiry was met with a several rude comments and even death threats, prompting the actor to address the situation on his official website.
“To those of you somehow hung up on the notion that I kicked the walker out from underneath our cat and threw her into the streets, first of all, cats don’t use walkers, so that’s a ridiculous notion,” Pratt wrote. “Secondly, I found my aging cat a g—damn loving home! Ease up with the death threats for Heaven’s sake!”
It looks like Mr. Pratt removed his blog post shortly after, and Google Cache has no memory of it. Grr!
I really feel for Chris Pratt. Don’t get me wrong—I would never get rid of my boyfriend’s cat. Or any cat! And I say that as a person who is allergic to cats (not deathly, no, but palpably).
But my best friend is an expectant mother, and her heart is totally crushed: she probably/definitely has to give up her beloved cat, Elton. Mind you, this isn’t like a weird 1700s superstition thing. That demon-cat has been feral since he was a kitten, and he has only become more freaking sinister these last ten years. He always slinks into the guest bedroom in the middle of the night and claws me in the eye. I have to lock the door! I’m telling you, given the chance, that cat would totally gnaw a baby’s face off. Fact.
Now HERE’S some refreshing news: Anna Faris, who’s getting married this summer to actor Chris Pratt (no relation to the Douchepratt), says rather than starve herself in preparation, she’s eating more.
“I am fattening it up!” she confessed when asked if she’ll be changing her workout routine for the big day. “Now that I have a man, I’m like, ‘Oh, I don’t have to try anymore! Now I can eat. We love to splurge at home. We love to cook. My fiancé is an incredible eater, and so he’s really fun to feed, and it’s great to share some wine and watch a movie. He’s always like, ‘Baby, don’t lose that butt!’”
Oh whatever. Like Anna Faris has a butt. Also this is the same girl whose face completely changed, Audrina-style, somewhere around 2007. So I’m not entirely sure I’m buying into the I-love-me-for-me argument she’s presenting here.
The cool thing here is that I’ve FINALLY heard of this dude she’s marrying — he’s in the new Amy Poehler show, Parks & Recreation (which is actually really really good if you haven’t seen it). He plays Andy, the loser, broken-legged boyfriend of Rashida Jones’ character. Hopefully he’ll end up being more stable for Anna — she dumped her last husband, another unknown actor, in April 2007.