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Chris Martin

0Gwyneth Paltrow released a new statement about her divorce

gwyneth paltrow chris martin

Gwyneth Paltrow announced her split from Chris Martin less than a week ago via the GOOP website, as you do, and while she may have packed up the kids and hightailed it to the Bahamas to avoid the press, it seems like she’s not really trying all that hard to veer away from discussion of the topic of her “conscious uncoupling”, as she’s released a new statement, of sorts, thanking everybody for giving a shit.

In a “PS” to the intro of the new GOOP newsletter (OF COURSE), she simply wrote:

P.S. CM and I in deep gratitude for the support of so many. ?

The cluelessness of this woman is hilarious. “CM” – because we’re all on a really close and intimate relationship with them both. The fact that it’s a PS? That she added a heart emoticon? “Deep gratitude”? Lord almighty. When will this nation’s Gwyneth Paltrow nightmare finally be over?

Side note: I read this piece in The Telegraph this morning from a reporter who hated “GP”, if you will, and then interviewed her and thought she was super warm and lovely and now insists that we’ve all got her wrong. I’m gonna pass on that opinion, but it’s worth a read!

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March 29, 2014 at 1:00 pm by Jennifer

2Cameron Diaz is proud of Gwyneth Paltrow for getting divorced

gwyneth paltrow cameron diaz

Cameron Diaz does NOT seem like friendship material for high strung Gwyneth Paltrow, but apparently they’re pretty close. While many would honour the sacred bonds of friendship by keeping their trap shut when it comes to publicly commenting on one another’s personal life choices, it seems Cameron decided to take the opposite route and offer her thoughts on Gwyneth’s split from husband Chris Martin.

“I think it’s actually a very elevated and conscious [decision] and realized statement — when people like Chris and Gwyneth who really worked hard to be friends and keep the things that are good and work in their relationship, which is being friends and being parents.”

“People go separate ways in other aspects of their life and I think it’s really brave of them to phrase it that way. Leaving as a couple and deciding to stay together as parents and as friends — I think it’s beautiful. I’m so proud of them.”

Cameron actually really cracks me up – this is the same person who thinks you can’t have a relationship without being cheated on or cheating yourself, so of course she’s supportive of this bullshit. She thinks she’s on a whole other plane of human understanding, which… LOL.

As for Gwyn & Chris’s divorce being an “elevated” decision, maybe so. Or maybe they simply couldn’t stand each other anymore and it was literally the only option. People get divorced ALL the time, and there’s no higher level thinking involved. Shit just doesn’t work out sometimes… but I bet Gwyneth subscribes to Cameron’s mode of thinking, anyway – I mean, don’t forget, they called their split announcement “conscious uncoupling”. What kinda bullshit?

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March 28, 2014 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

2Gwyneth Paltrow kissed her ex-boyfriend before she announced her split from Chris Martin

chris martin gwyneth paltrow

Yup, this is a thing we’re doing now. We’re all pretty sure that Gwyneth Paltrow is a serial cheater (girllll, did you HEAR about that Whisper drama?), but now that her split from Chris Martin is official, we’re going to start scouring the archives for any scrap of evidence that might support our theory that ol’ Goopy couldn’t keep it in her pants. It’s sort of sad and more than sort of dumb, but here we are.

The newest ¡Escandalo! is apparently that Gwyn was pictured kissing her ex-boyfriend, Donovan Leitch, at a Dodgers game in broad daylight last September, six months before she split from Chris. Here’s the bullshit in question:

gwyneth paltrow donovan leitch

I’m no rocket scientist, but that hardly looks like romance to me. First of all, rich people do weird shit like kissing on the lips when they’re just friends, right? Like, I feel like that’s not a weird thing at all, when it comes to celebrities. Also, Donovan and Gwyneth dated in the early ’90s, before she even got with Brad Pitt, so their history is ancient as shit. Thirdly, he’s not even one of of the names on the list of dudes Gwyn apparently cheated on Chris Martin with, so whatever.

Can we not let this whole thing go? Like, is this what we’re reduced to now – scouring the paparazzi archives to see if we can find her even standing next to another man she might have cheated with? It’s gonna be a long 2014, if that’s the case.

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March 27, 2014 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

6Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s marriage is over!

Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin

Well, we sorta knew it was coming, didn’t we? Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have always seemed like a bizarre pair, but hey, opposites attract. However, after ongoing reporters regarding Goopy’s infidelity and God knows what else, it seems they’re finally finalized it’s just not going to work out and have decided to split.

Gwyneth announced the news on the GOOP website today:

“It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate.”

“We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.”

Well, that’s that, I guess. Can’t say I’m surprised!

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March 25, 2014 at 3:07 pm by Jennifer

35Top 14 Most Hated Celebrity Couples

gwyneth paltrow and chris martin most hated celebrity couple

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are easily one of the most hated celebrity couples ever, right? Radaronline polled a whole mess of people and compiled a list of 14 celebrity couples that people absolutely hate and Kim and Kanye didn’t even make the list! Shocker! These lists are based on pretty much nothing, but they’re so fun; from the most hated celebrities to the ugliest male celebs, I know I like a good stupid list.

I don’t think these are actually in a particular order, in terms of most to least. The first ones on the list are Rihanna and Chris Brown. Who are the rest?Click to find out.

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June 8, 2013 at 10:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

6No Shit, Sherlock of the Day: Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Marriage Can Be “Hard” Sometimes

gwyneth paltrow

Actress, purveyor of body shame and rich white woman Gwyneth Paltrow faces adversity in her day to day life on levels we couldn’t possibly fathom. She has too many pairs of black Armani slacks to wear and struggles to decide between straight cut  or skinny, her local Whole Foods was out of organic sugar-free New Zealand beeswax essence the last time she sent her personal chef for groceries and one of her kids ate a single M&M proffered from a private school classmate last week and she’s afraid Apple will develop Diabetes before her 10th birthday. It’s a difficult world out there, and that’s not even including relationships. Her marriage to Chris Martin? It can totally be hard sometimes, guys. :(

From Glamour UK (via DigitalSpy):

“It’s hard being married. You go through great times, you go through terrible times. We’re the same as any couple,” she said.

“I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mom stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time’. And I think that’s what happens.

“When two people throw in the towel at the same time, then you break up, but if one person’s saying, ‘Come on, we can do this’, you carry on.

“We laugh, we’re good friends, we like to do the same stuff. I’m a very grounded, homey person and Chris is a very mad scientist, genius songwriter.

“So I never say, ‘Where are you? You should be home by now’. I never place demands on him because I think he’s a really talented man and he’s putting something good into the world.”

HAHHAHAHAHAA, Gwyneth describes herself as “very grounded”!!!!!!! Uh, maybe on a planet without gravity. Also, what you’re describing is every single long-term relationship with a shot in hell of working. You’re not accomplishing anything special besides being a decent partner. Anyway, just wanted everyone to see the greatest joke ever told to brighten your Fridays.
Below, some photos from the Tiffany & Co. gala, where Gwyneth continued her fashion reign by wearing a satin bedsheet, apparently.
May 3, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer
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