Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Brown

Chris Brown is trying to buy his way out of jail

chris brown

While a judge ruled that Chris Brown needs to stay put behind bars until April 23rd after violating his probation yet again by getting kicked out of rehab, we all know that rules don’t apply to Chris. He is a law unto himself, so while the judge says the outcome of his upcoming DC assault case will determine just how long he’s in jail, he’s willing to fork out some big money to get the victim to recant his story so Chris can roam free.

From TMZ:

Sources connected with the D.C. assault case tell TMZ … Chris’ lawyer, Mark Geragos, has contacted the lawyer for the man who claims Chris assaulted him in D.C., breaking his nose, and offered him a BIG FAT CHECK.

We’re told Geragos is gunning for a civil settlement … which could very well mean the broken nose guy would tell prosecutors he no longer has an interest in pursuing the criminal case.  And our sources say prosecutors are aware of the civil settlement negotiations.

We’re told Geragos may have already sealed the deal but if not … it should be done in a day or 2.

So here’s the likely resolution.  The alleged victim gets a ton of money (our educated guess is several hundred thousand dollars), D.C. prosecutors drop the criminal assault case and the Rihanna judge then lets Chris out of jail either late this week or early next.

Oh, fuck off. The issue here is that we all know that much money can be life-changing, and I doubt the guy Chris assaulted is in any position to turn it down – especially not for the sake of teaching him a lesson when their paths will never cross again. Hell, I would probably take the money, so you can’t fault him for it. But the fact that this is even an option for this shit stain on humanity makes me sick.

Of course, Chris is a habitual offender and will no doubt land himself right back there in no time since he can’t seem to function as a normal member of society that doesn’t attack everything that pleases him (among other things).

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Chris Brown is staying in jail for a month

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Chris Brown was hauled off to jail last weekend after being kicked out of rehab for reportedly getting “too close” to the women in the facility, which was a violation of his “stay at least two feet away from the female patients at all time” rule that applied specifically to him. He violated a few other rules, as well, but that was the biggest one.

In any case, of course he thought he’d get out of jail right away and go back to terrorizing the world, as has been the case for the past several years. Turns out, the judge isn’t really having it – Chris will stay in jail until at least April 23rd, when he’ll have another probation violation hearing. He’s also got a DC assault case that will be heard before then, so if he’s convicted there, he’s up Shit Creek without a paddle.

Here’s more scoop from TMZ:

The judge said Chris had an “inability to stay out of trouble.”  Hizzoner was especially concerned at a statement Chris made at the rehab joint, “I am good at using guns and knives.”

So Chris will sit in jail until April 23.  The judge wants Chris in the slammer until a D.C. jury decides if Chris committed criminal assault in an unrelated case.  That trial is set for April 17 and should only last a few days.  It’s unclear if the judge will let Chris back to attend the trial.

The L.A. judge will hold a probation violation hearing on April 23, and if Chris is convicted in D.C. he’s in big trouble.  Worst case scenario … he could be sentenced to 4 years in prison for violating probation in the Rihanna case.  One of the conditions — obey all laws.

LOL, yeah, it’s definitely a legit hard man who brags about how he’s “good at using guns and knives”. Seriously? Did he get his lines from a movie? What an absolute idiot.

Here’s the thing with Chris Brown: even if he ends up getting out of jail on April 23rd, he is a habitual offender and he will be straight back there in no time. There’s no hope for this asshole – why not do him a favour and take him off the streets now? Besides, that orange jumpsuit really looks good on him.

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Chris Brown Arrested; Held Without Bail

chris brown

I hate writing about Chris Brown, I really do. But when he makes news, I gotta cover it, and thankfully, this time he’s giving me something to “HAW, HAW!” Nelson Muntz-style over. Dude got himself arrested for a probation violation. From The Los Angeles Times:

Singer Chris Brown was arrested Friday afternoon by Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies on a warrant related to his 2009 conviction for assaulting his then-girlfriend Rihanna.

The singer was taken to the inmate reception center in downtown Los Angeles, where he was being booked into jail, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Capt. Mike Parker said.

The warrant was issued for a probation violation related to his 2009 conviction in the assault on Rihanna, authorities said.

Brown was “cooperative” when deputies arrested him in Malibu about 2 p.m. Friday, according to a statement released by the sheriff’s department.

He is being held without bail.

I’m sure he’ll find a way to blame this on his PTSD, because he never takes responsibility for his own actions, ever.

I mean, come on, how many more passes is this dude gonna get? How many more passes are we going to give him? How can anyone keep defending this dude?

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Chris Brown Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and PTSD

chris brown

It sorta makes me laugh at Chris Brown has been diagnosed with PTSD – not because PTSD is funny in any way (because it’s a very serious illness and not a joke), but because it’s absolute bullshit that he’s now going to try to use as an explanation for why he’s a walking dickhead. Let me guess – next, Justin Bieber will have PTSD!

Anyhow, Chris has his PTSD diagnosis and Bipolar disorder, which is why he’s staying in rehab past his initial mandatory sentence. It’s not at all a PR stunt to try and get his career back on track once he leaves and to show everyone he’s a changed man who had a real reason to do all the shit he did beyond “I felt like it and fuck you”.

Oh, also, even though it was first reported that it was CHRIS who decided to stay in rehab for longer, it was actually a judge’s order after a report revealed the myriad of issues this dude really has. Here’s the scoop from People:

Although a report reviewed by the judge says the singer tells doctors he “is happy with the program,” Brown, in court Friday, seemed disappointed by the decision to extend his rehab stay.

“It is evident that [Brown] has responded well” to the treatment, a probation officer wrote to the court. However, the officer said that Brown’s positive change in behavior “has occurred only recently” and the court should be cautious about releasing him too soon and should keep him on probation until November.

Of course it occurred recently – TO GET OUT OF REHAB. Once he’s out, he’ll be back to the same bullshit as always. How is any of this shocking? But wait… there’s more!

According to a letter from the facility treating Brown, he has a very regimented life in rehab, waking at 5 a.m. every morning and doing 24 hours a week of community service as well as six to eight therapy sessions per week “with his team of clinicians and doctors to address his bipolar diagnosis, anger management, post-traumatic stress disorder and past substance abuse.”

The letter says that Brown “continues to make great strides” but he needs to continue “intense individual, family and medical follow-up over the next year so he can sustain the changes.”

It also says that Brown needs close supervision by his doctor “to ensure his bipolar mental health condition remains stable. It is not uncommon for patients with post-traumatic stress disorder and Bipolar II to use substances to self-medicate their biochemical mood swings and trauma triggers. Our clinical team believes Mr. Brown became aggressive and acted out physically due to his untreated mental health disorder, severe sleep deprivation, inappropriate self-medicating and untreated PTSD.”

Oh man, sounds like torture for him. I love it! What I don’t love is that these people are wasting time, energy, money and other resources on this asshole. You have to WANT to change, not just pretend to want it so that you can be let out on the loose again to get back to the life you were leading before. Ugh.

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Chris Brown Is Staying in Rehab, But Unfortunately Not Forever

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In case you forgot, Chris Brown avoided jailtime in favour of being sent back to rehab instead, so he could deal with his many issues. It was a 90-day “sentence”, of sorts, which is over now, but because Chris is such a stand-up guy who’s really sweet and not at all violent or messed up in any way, he’s decided to stay there for a while longer.

From E! News:

A source tells E! News exclusively that even though the R&B superstar has completed his court-ordered 90 days in rehab, a judge ordered him to stay at the facility for further treatment.

Brown’s rep declined to comment.

It’s a shame he doesn’t stay there forever. I think we’d all be glad to throw away the key.

However, apparently the world is coming around to Chris Brown, because he’s been given an AWARD by LA community group 2nd Call for his work with them and on his own organizations. The award? The “Second Chance at Loving Life” award. LOL! Okay.

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How Much Did Chris Brown Pay this Judge, Then?

Chris Brown

Chris Brown is a dickhead of epic proportions, the forefather whose asshole status is that which Justin Bieber has aspired to ascend to. He has committed so many crimes with such blatant lack of remorse and/or improvement… and yet here he is, a free man. He was in court recently, as we all know, facing his latest assault charges and while prosecutors want him in jail for it, a California judge thought he’ll do better in a rehab facility. Fuuuuuuuuuck off.

Judge James R Brandlin claims that the drug abuse and anger management facility is giving him an “adequate safety net”. Well, what about the safety of all the people he assaults? Where’s our net? It should be him in jail! Also, let’s not forget that his probation has been revoked stemming back from the time when he beat Rihanna to a bloody pulp… and yet “rehab” is the way to go? UGH.

Oh, and one more thing to remember: he turned down a plea deal in this case that would reduce his charges because he’s that cocky that he can do whatever he wants and not have to face any consequences for it. What a lovely human being.

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Chris Brown Rejected a Plea Deal in His Ongoing Assault Case

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Because of course he did. Chris Brown is a dickhead of the highest power, so why on earth would he admit that he’s done wrong and take a more lenient punishment offered to him by accepting a plea deal in his Washington DC assault case? That would just be too easy, too decent of him. The deal would have turned his misdemeanor assault charges into simple assault charges (which carry much less of a penalty), but Brown said no thanks.

Here’s TMZ‘s scoop:

The prosecutor revealed in court they had offered Brown a deal — reducing the charge to simple assault (he currently faces misdemeanor assault which carries a more severe penalty), but Brown’s lawyer, Mark Geragos — who was also in court — rejected it … and we think we know why.

Law enforcement sources tell us … they had combed the area looking for surveillance video capturing the run-in.  For a long, long time they said they had nothing.  Now they seem to be singing a different tune, but haven’t turned the video over to Geragos.

Geragos — who believes his client did nothing wrong — is eager to see the video before cutting any kind of deal.

Keep in mind that even if police don’t have video, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen (it most certainly did – come on!), just that they can’t prove it so Chris thinks he can get away with it just like he got away with beating Rihanna to a bloody pulp (which in fact there WAS proof of, but that hardly mattered) and everything else in his life.

Don’t forget his probation has been revoked, so he really is playing with fire here since, if the police do turn over a video and he’s convicted, he should – IN THE EYES OF THE LAW – be going to jail. Will he go to jail? Probably not, because money talks and this country’s justice system is a fucking joke. But stay tuned on that front.

Ugh, I wish Chris and Justin Bieber would hold hands and drive off a cliff, Thelma and Louise style.

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