Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Brown

Chris Brown wants to have a baby with Karrueche Tran

Chris Brown Karrueche Tran

Obviously I’m all for free-will, but this is a case where I wish forced sterilization was a thing. You see, Chris Brown has jokingly suggested that he wants to have a baby with his Rihanna knock-off girlfriend Karrueche Tran since she’s been “putting up with [his] shit for 5 years” and is his “#WCW” – that’s “woman crush Wednesday”, for those of you who don’t use Instagram. Chris posted a photo of Karrueche for #WCW this week and in his caption, mentioned that the couple “need to have this baby and stop playin”. Yes, please stop playing by pretending you are fit to be a parent. Please, I’m begging you.

Earlier this week, Karrueche made Chris her #MCM (use your brains) and captioned the below photo with this bullshit: “Lovers.. Friends.. We love, we laugh, we fight.. It’s complicated and I can’t explain it but it’s not for you to understand but us .. My MCM.”

Yes, I suppose most people wouldn’t understand why you let a violent, homophobic asshole treat you like shit and dump you repeatedly when a better option comes knocking for five years and act like he actually gives a shit about you. I’d think that’d be a little hard for most people to fathom. Anyway, let them get on with this shit, I guess. Just PLEASE leave kids out of it. Like we need any more messed up kids on this planet!

Oh, and just to prove how true and endless their love is, they actually just broke up again LAST WEEK and are back together for the 18th time now and talking shit about having kids. Nope.

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Chris Brown is getting fat, apparently

chris brown

Chris Brown has been living it up since leaving jail a couple of months ago – recording songs with Justin Bieber, throwing big parties, pretending he’s a gang-banger and generally just being his usual asshole self. Something else he’s doing? Getting fat, apparently (according to TMZ).

I guess Chris used to have a six pack and was all fit and hot by society’s standards, and now he’s got a bit of a belly and isn’t all that toned. In fact, he DARED to go shirtless with that horrendous body:

Chris Brown continues to look noticeably heavier since getting out of jail … bravely partying without a shirt on while hanging out Wednesday afternoon in glorious St. Tropez.

CB is partying in France while one of his new neighbors in the San Fernando Valley tells TMZ he has no qualms about shooting the R&B singer if he trespasses onto his property.

Based on these photos, it doesn’t seem Chris moves with a lot quickness these days … so he’s best to heed the warning.

Y’all know I hate Chris Brown, but seriously? First of all, he’s not fat – they’re making out as if he’s 350lbs. Secondly, even if he WAS 350 lbs, why is that a reason for ridicule? Is his behaviour and general dickishness not providing enough material? It’s just so… middle school. I know we’re dealing with TMZ here, but I thought they could be slightly more creative than weight shaming.

Anyway, what do you think? Is Chris really getting fat? Is he going to have a breakdown? Will he ever have a career again?

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Chris Brown is part of the Bloods gang now, I guess

chris brown

It was only a few weeks ago that Chris Brown was released from prison and vowing to turn his life around and get back on the right track. Anyone with a working brain knew that was a load of horseshit, and it didn’t take long for CB to prove us right. He hit the clubs last weekend where he got so wasted that he had to be carried out. Before that, however, he decided to throw up some gang signs and give shout out to the Bloods.

From TMZ:

The video is clear … Chris dancing at a BET afterparty — the one where he got wasted and had to be carried out — and he wants everyone to see him gang banging.

Chris is specific … giving a verbal shout out to a specific subset of Bloods — the Fruit Town Piru.  FYI … Piru is a street in Compton where the first known Bloods gang was formed.

Right before Chris got locked up … he was tagging “Fruits Piru” on a wall in Hawaii.  In fact, we’re told several Fruits Piru gang members lived with Chris before he went to jail.

Sounds like he’s on the right track.

Here’s the video in question:

I mean, I can’t even express in words how corny this dude has to be to want to get involved in something like gang life. It’s not something you WILLINGLY get into when you’ve got money, opportunity, let alone ANY other option. Chris did not grow up in that, he isn’t being forced into it out of desperation to survive, none of that. He just thinks thuggin’ is the way to go, I suppose. And maybe it is – it’s certainly the way straight back to his jail cell. Maybe that’s what this asshole wants in the end – to be locked up for life. I’d be more than happy to grant that wish if I were a judge.

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Would you watch a Chris Brown reality show?

chris brown

I don’t even think my masochist side would allow me to hate watch a Chris Brown reality show, but BET is apparently desperate to secure a deal for a show on the asshole’s life and crimes. Turns out, a lot of people are in the same boat as me in terms of not wanting to have to look at him on their TV screens, but where we differ is that plenty of people in the network’s focus group would tune in just to watch him fuck up, as he obviously would.

From TMZ:

BET is gunning to air a Chris Brown reality show … and they’ve already held focus groups to find out if viewers will flock to their sets or stay away.

Multiple sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … BET has made it clear to several production companies … the network would absolutely air a Chris Brown reality series, chronicling his life after jail.

We’re told several production companies are angling to sign Chris, but so far that hasn’t happened.  If it does, we’re told the show will get on the air.

A focus group was held Tuesday in the San Fernando Valley … asking participants if they’d watch a reality show in which Chris tries to stay on the straight and narrow — free from violence and drugs.

We’re told the group — comprised entirely of African American females — was split, but the majority said they’d watch to see if Chris would screw up.

What do you think – would you watch it?

Would you watch a Chris Brown reality show?
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Chris Brown won’t accept a plea deal in his latest assault case

chris brown

Chris Brown was only recently released from prison, but he still has to face up to his Washington DC assault case. Prosecutors were willing to work with him, for some odd reason, and offer him a plea deal, but Chris is too arrogant to ever admit any wrongdoing, and he knows he’s never had to pay for anything he’s done before, so he’s going to try his luck by going to trial.

From TMZ:

TMZ caught up with Brown as he darted into his lawyer’s office for a wardrobe change before his D.C. court appearance.

Chris was close to copping a plea but the deal fell apart because the prosecutor and Chris’ lawyer, Mark Geragos, couldn’t agree on a statement of fact about the events leading to the alleged assault.

Chris has said all along … he didn’t attack the alleged victim last year outside a hotel.

If Chris had pled guilty to assault, he would not have to serve any additional time in jail.  Now it looks like he’s going to trial so jail is on the line again.

A trial date has been set for September.  Brown’s bodyguard, Christopher Hollosy, has already been convicted of the assault.

Even though he’s promised to clean up his act, I think he could use a bit more time behind bars, so hopefully this trial doesn’t go quite the way he’s sure it will (and for good reason – he’s never really been punished seriously before anyway).

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Of course Justin Bieber and Chris Brown are recording a song together

justin bieber chris brown

When two assholes exist in the world, it’s only natural that they gravitate towards one another. I’m assuming there’s a certain magnetism there, a force pulling them together in ways neither of them can resist. That must be what happened with Justin Bieber and Chris Brown, who are apparently in the studio recording a song together, because of course they are.

As JB posted on his Instagram with the photo: “Studio, me and CB did 1 for the fans.”

Well, aren’t we all so lucky? Akon was apparently around for some reason, as well, so maybe he’ll pop up on the song to do… something. Who knows?

Also, apparently they have worked together before on a song called ‘Next to You’, for Chris’s album F.A.M.E in 2011 – go figure. Maybe they can do a whole album together and then go on tour together and then go into outer space together and never come back.

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Chris Brown might be back in jail sooner than we thought

Chris Brown appears for a probation progress hearing at the Clara Shortridge Foltz Criminal Justice Center in Los Angeles

Chris Brown was recently released from prison, whereupon he promised to clean up his act and never go back behind bars again. However, he may not have a choice. There’s still that pesky Washington DC assault case that needs to be heard, and the prosecutor is pushing for an early trial date to hopefully get his ass back in a cell quickly.

From TMZ:

As TMZ first reported … despite his admission of violating his Rihanna probation, Brown maintains he didn’t specifically admit guilt in the D.C. assault case.

But TMZ has obtained documents filed today by the U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia … asking a judge to now make June 25 the start date for the trial … instead of just a status conference.

The prosecutor disagrees with Brown’s assertion … and says his admission DOES count as an admission of guilt in this case, and therefore the trial should begin without any further delay.

If the judge agrees, Brown will be back in a D.C. court before the end of the month.

Unfortunately, he’s rich and famous, which means he’s probably going to get away with this one with maybe some time added onto his probation and a “stern warning” (ask Lindsay Lohan for more details on that one). I suppose it’s at least nice to know that there are some people out there who aren’t impressed with this asshole and think he should be punished for his behaviour.

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