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Chris Brown

1Chris Brown’s Felony Charge Reduced To Misdemeanor

Chris Brown

Chris Brown is getting a big gift. His latest asshat move was assaulting a man in D.C., and Brown got arrested and charged with felony assault. But it’s being reduced to a misdemeanor. Why? TMZ has the details:

Brown was arrested for felony assault early Sunday morning in Washington D.C. after allegedly attacking a man outside a hotel and breaking his nose.

Brown allegedly got into an argument with a man, said “I’m not down with that gay shit, I’m into boxing,” and then punched him in the nose. [Oh, so you're not for equality after all? How surprising.]


Sources tell TMZ … the reason the charges were reduced is because the injuries to the victim were minor, even though the victim told TMZ Brown broke his nose. Another reason — there were conflicting witness accounts of what happened.

And there’s even more great news for Brown and co.:

… Chris pled not guilty. Chris has just been released without bail. He’s also required to stay 100 yards away from the victim.

Chris had been ordered to take a drug test, but the judge just vacated that order. It’s standard in such cases to order a drug test, but that has been cancelled.

The bodyguard’s charge was also reduced to a misdemeanor.

Great. Fantastic.

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October 28, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Chris Brown

3Chris Brown Arrested And Charged With Assault AGAIN


Chris Brown, let’s all say it together: I cannot even. This twit ass-clown keeps f-cking up. How? How is it possible to f-ck up so badly?

His latest f-ckup is getting arrested in D.C. for assault. It’s a felony charge. Here’s more from CBS News:

Singer Chris Brown was arrested this morning and charged with felony assault, the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department has confirmed to CBS News.

D.C. police spokesperson Paul Metcalf said the 24-year-old Brown got into a physical altercation with an adult male near the W Hotel located on K and 15th street around 4:25 a.m. local time.

DCPD did not disclose the condition of the victim, but said “he’s alive.”

Chris Hollosy, a 35-year-old male, was also arrested in the incident and was charged the same.

“He’s alive” — good news.

Can’t wait to see how Chris Browns complains to twitter about how everyone hates him and nothing is his fault.

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October 27, 2013 at 2:00 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Chris Brown

12Chris Brown Was Molested By A 14-Year-Old Girl When He Was 8

chris brown iHeart Radio music festival

Chris Brown, gay rights activist, gave an interview with The Guardian in which he bragged that he “lost his virginity” early — at 8 years-old. I don’t think he realizes that he didn’t have sex. He was molested. He was raped. There is absolutely no way an 8 year-old can consent to sex. Here’s what he said. From The Guardian:

He lost his virginity when he was eight years old, to a local girl who was 14 or 15. Seriously? “Yeah, really. Uh-huh.” He grins and chuckles. “It’s different in the country.” Brown grew up with a great gang of boy cousins, and they watched so much porn that he was raring to go. “By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I’m saying? Like, girls, we weren’t afraid to talk to them; I wasn’t afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.”

Jesus Christ. Imagine if it was reversed and a young woman was talking about how a 14 or 15-year-old boy had sex with her when she was 8 years of age. No one would think twice that she was raped. Chris Brown is in severe and sad denial if he thinks it was perfectly normal and even funny for him, at 8 years old, to have sex with anyone, but especially a teenager. I’m hoping this story isn’t true, for Brown’s sake, and I don’t even like Chris Brown.

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October 6, 2013 at 8:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Chris Brown

7Chris Brown Is a Gay Rights Advocate Now

chris brown

Chris Brown is a total piece of shit. Yes, I feel that “news” is worth opening every article with, because it’s true and it’s something to keep in mind. His anger issues, homophobia, tendency to beat women, etc. make him the ultimate candidate for dickhead of our generation. But wait, he’s just misunderstood! Everyone keeps picking on him but really he’s such a nice guy and he really loves everyone – especially the same gay people that he consistently used to bash and the fact that up until he flipped the script and tried to endear himself to the world again (never going to happen), “gay” was a pejorative in his world. Fuck off, man.

That’s right, Chris Brown is a gay rights advocate now, and even tweeted his support for a petition aimed at Cameroon’s President Biya after a string of recent hate crimes in the country.

Listen, Chris Brown’s fans are stupid enough to follow him despite his idiocy, so hopefully this bullshit gesture will still have a positive effect. The truth is that regardless of how much I might hate him, he does have an impact with millions, and it could give this important cause more visibility and pull, so I’m all for that. I will, however, never be for Chris Brown. Way to exploit a marginalized group of people for your own gain, bro.

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October 2, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Chris Brown, GTFO

3Are Chris Brown and Drake Friends Now?

drake chris brown

Drake and Chris Brown hate each other. They’re like oil and water – they do not mix under any circumstances, and it’s all Rihanna’s fault (isn’t it always?). Well, apparently they’ve decided to let bygones be bygones and are now getting all pally at the club or something after Def Jam boss Abou Thiam brought them together. Things got so friendly, that they were apparently “hugging and drinking” together? I mean, I dunno.

From The New York Post:

The musicians — who got into an epic fracas at Soho nightclub W.I.P. in 2012 — hugged it out at the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas over the weekend. Sources tell us Drake and his crew came to the music fest on Friday specifically to watch Brown’s performance.

“Drake came on Friday with his whole crew, and watched Chris’ entire set,” we’re told.

After Brown came off stage, a spy told us: “They were backstage hugging and drinking.” We’re told the reunion went so well, the two even talked about creating some tracks together.

Sources tell us the mediator of the reunion was Def Jam music exec Abou Thiam — who’s one of Brown’s managers and a brother of rapper Akon. We’re told Thiam is “very friendly with Drake, and worked to try and get him and Chris together to put their differences aside.”

I guess that would be nice or whatever, if it weren’t for the fact that I would think any decent human being would have “differences” with Chris Brown since he’s a homophobic, misogynistic woman beater. That’s not really a hatchet that can be buried, in my book. Of course, this could be total bullshit – after all, Drake has a verse in one of his songs on the new album (I’m embarrassingly in love with it) about how he’s not concerned when he sees him in the club because he can’t match Drake’s own energy and isn’t who he pretends to be. Doesn’t sound like friendship material to me, but I suppose stranger things have happened.

I just want better for Drake and his sensitive spirit. Stay away from Chris Brown!

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September 26, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Chris Brown, Drake

2Chris Brown Is Whining About Being Picked On Again

Chris Brown

If there’s one thing you can do in life to prove how mature you are and how much you’ve learned and grown from a difficult experience, it’s blaming everyone else for your problems and constantly complaining about how you get picked on more than anyone else when they’ve done stuff you deem to be worse. Enter Chris Brown, world’s biggest pain in the fucking ass, who just cannot comprehend that what anyone else has done in their lives has nothing to do with what a scumbag he is himself.

From Jet (via DS):

“No disrespect, because I’m a fan, but nobody brings up the fact that [Jay Z] stabbed somebody and sold drugs. He gets a pass.”

Brown went on to discuss his anger issues and how he’s working through them, saying: “You have to go through the struggle before you can get to the good part. I don’t try to lash out at people, or be as mad or impulsive as I used to be.”

He added: “I got to the point where it’s only so much you can take from the master, you feel me? I’ve taken my fair share of lashings.”

Brown also talked about Trayvon Martin, the African-American teen whose death at the hands of George Zimmerman last year prompted controversy and a national discussion in the US about racism.

He said: “I identify with Trayvon 100% as far as living in 2013 and still dealing with blatant racism. This generation is so used to racism that it’s normal; we don’t care. We aren’t on drugs or catching AIDS, but they still look at us as n***as.”

Yo, I’m just gonna say this one more time: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Christ Brown, especially for trying to use the Trayvon murder for sympathy. His point is 100% valid – there is definitely a shit ton of racism in the world still, absolutely, and it’s awful and disgusting. But what’s more disgusting is that Brown could use such a tragedy to heap onto his own “pity me” pile when discussing how great and misunderstood he is. Ugh, will he EVER go away?

As for the Jay-Z stabbing, I don’t know the ins and outs of that situation, but while obviously violence is fucked up, domestic violence against a woman you’re meant to be in love with strikes me as a slightly more reprehensible offense. Also, there’s a cool thing about the world that allows there to be room for more than one asshole at a time. A plethora of them, even. If Jay’s a scumbag as well, that doesn’t negate Chris’s bullshit.

September 22, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Chris Brown