Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Brown

Rihanna is the Only (Alleged) Fool in the World to Have Fallen For Chris Brown’s BET Crocodile Tears

Remember Chris Brown’s cheeseball performance of a Michael Jackson tribute at the BET awards last month? Those wretched, gag-a-maggot tears that were allegedly triggered by eye drops, and not because Brown has a feeling bone in his body, with the exception of his penis?

It sounds like ex-girlfriend Rihanna didn’t hear about his alleged eye drop usage, because she and Brown have reportedly reconciled (as friends, don’t worry) their differences, as Rihanna was “moved” that Brown was able to show such emotion — and not, you know, the blacked-out violence kind-of-emotion that Brown has exhibited in the past. According to a “friend” of the former couple:

“It’s been almost a year since they last spoke, but Rihanna felt like she could try to be friends with Chris again. Seeing how emotional he was on set [at the BET Awards] really touched her. She’d never seen him like that before. Chris [also] told her that he felt like he’s grown up in the past year. He’s said he’s so happy to be back in touch with her. They were each other’s first love and he’s missed her so much. Rihanna knows that if he wanted him back, he’d be there in a second.”

Uh, you know, just because you were once someone’s “first love” doesn’t mean that they automatically earn a place in your life — or your heart — down the road. Especially if the relationship ended under the circumstances that Rihanna and Chris’s did.

If, you know, you want to forgive Chris for what he did, Rihanna, more power to you. I think it’s an amazing thing when people can look inside themselves to really let go of the malicious and horrific things that some people in our past have done to us, and it’s really a gift to be able to do so. But there’s no reason to bring that person from your past back into your present.  Ihave no explanation for that — I just stand firm in my opinion that there’s just not.

OK, Chris Brown Should Just Go to Hell Already.

photo of chris brown performing michael jackson tribute at bet awards

Remember I posted Chris Brown’s “heart-warming performance” earlier in the week, where he performed a Michael Jackson tribute at the BET awards? Yes, this very video. Well, some of you readers thought that he was crying big old crocodile tears in order to appear sympathetic to the viewers — and his former fans — and you know what? Looks like you bitches were right.

An exclusive source spoke to Us Magazine and told a reporter that the singer with the most violent tendencies put eye drops in his eyes before the big performance, and that’s what you were actually seeing:

“He rubbed it [eye drops] in and he started crying.”

That’s just lovely. Just when we thought that Brown might have had a soul (ha! And … ha! again!), he goes and plays the facade of someone who feels for others — you know, beyond “feeling” them with closed fists and small, sharp teeth.

Go rot somewhere, you piece of trash.

Chris Brown’s a Baby

You know who needs to disappear? Chris Brown. That fool just cannot help himself. He’s still talking about how the whole “beating up Rihanna” thing was really hard on his reputation and that he’s actually a really nice guy. This morning he did that whole routine for the Mojo in the Morning radio show and he attempted to keep his shit relevant by relating himself to another bro we all hate right now, Tiger Woods.

“I think it’s cool man, I think people always deserve a second chance, and I know if my fans give me a second chance and people give me a second chance..whatever his personal life is and I think this goes for me and him; his personal life is his personal life – like nobody has the right to place judgment or make any judgment on somebody else’s personal life when they’re not directly involved with them—like they might be a fan, or might support what they’re doing but like if he plays golf, like that’s his sport, that’s his hobby, that’s his love, that’s what people love him for. They don’t love him for the other stuff that they talking bout. I think, even with me, like I do music, I sing songs, like I’m an entertainer, I’m a performer, but people make mistakes, I think people have to realize that everybody’s human, and the good thing is if you learn from your mistakes, then, then that’s a part of life, and I think that’s a part of living and learning from mistakes and becoming a better person, and growing from situations, so my hat is off to him—I support him, I hope he gets back on the field and does his thing, cause he is the best at it.”

Me me me me me. Jesus Christ. This guy’s head is so far up his own rectum that he doesn’t even realize what a self-involved moron he sounds like. He needs to be locked away in a closet until he gets the heck over himself. True.

Bow Wow Drives Drunk and Lives to Tweet About It

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Rapper Lil’ Bow Wow was out and about on New Year’s Eve, tarnishing his sterling reputation by tweeting about driving drunk in his Lamborghini, although personally I think he did the most damage by admitting that he was spending time with Chris Brown.

Gawker did a pretty thorough analysis of this:

* Im fucked up!!! = I am drunk.
* Y i drive the lambo = I am driving my lamborghini now. I should not be.
* Chris might have to drive after next spot = As in, I’m driving it right now, while tweeting, and I’m so trashed I think I’ll ask Chris Brown to drive next, because after beating up Rihanna he had to go sober. But first: another party!

Bow Wow later deleted the tweet.

I have to tell you, the older I get, the more passe drunk driving is. When we were younger, it was all like, “Yeah, I’m cool to drive, it’s no biggie, I’ll be fine.” Now that we’re all more aware of our mortality (and/or been hit with a DUI), driving drunk is far less common. Last night, everyone at the party either took a cab or had a designated driver. (I was the designated driver for my friends — try it sometime, they love you forever!) Drunk driving: So not hot right now.

Quotables

Chris Brown

“I didn’t get a call from them or anything. I felt embarrassed, but at the same time I felt stabbed in the back. Ok, Oprah you have so much power and people really listen to what you say. You don’t know anything that went down and you jump to conclusions and start brining people on the set that have no similarities to me other than a domestic dispute. And then compare them to me when she’s around me and knows me. She could have called me and been like, “Chris, let me get you on my show and I’m going to do this kind of segment.”

–Chris Brown steps to Oprah in VIBE Magazine for talking smack about him on her show and not inviting him to speak for himself.

Oh, Chris. You’re going after Oprah? You got dem kinda ballz now?

Chris Brown is So Deep

The preview for Chris Brown’s “Graffiti” came out today and man! Chris Brown has learned sooooooo much, you guys. It’s ridiculous what beating your famous girlfriend in a car in Hancock Park and then having to do like, forty hours of community service will do for a guy. He’s been “in the game” since he was 15 and then he was smacking around his girlfriend for a little bit and then he really figured out his life and now he’s back! He’s back with this faux-artsy music video with a documentary style intro.

Watch the video because it’s funny, but if you want to hear some much better new music, check out Timbaland’s new track that I can’t stop playing or even this Rihanna b-side.