Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Brown

Chris Brown Said “No” But Meant “Yes”

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It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to pull out the douche-ski photo, but today it just felt right.  As you’ll remember, I posted a brief preview clip of Chris Brown offering up a whole lot of “Wow” and a little bit of selective amnesia to Larry King.  That interview will air tomorrow.  Chris Brown has released a statement indicating that when he said he didn’t remember beating up Rihanna, what he meant was that he did remember beating up Rihanna.  Seems reasonable.

“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight. 

“That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said. 

“The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, ‘Do you remember doing it?’ and I said, ‘No.’ 

“Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can’t believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before.”

Larry King is famous for asking the same question over and over and over again.  Unfortunately, Chris Brown can never have the luxury of vaguely answering any question, even one that’s been posed repeatedly.  The public is still out for blood.  

I’m a firm believer in redemption.  If Chris Brown was honest and forthright, of course he would be worthy of a second chance.  But he keeps sticking with the “nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before” line even though the police report clearly states that he had hit Rihanna on at least two previous occasions.  He’s still not taking responsibility, he’s still not owning up and that’s why I feel like he’s a totally sac-less, creepy little Easter Bunny.  (Thank you to our commenter who came up with that!)

Chris Brown: Like, Wow


Chris Brown continues to be a study in eloquence in a Larry King interview that is scheduled to air this Wednesday.  This is a just a 34-second preview and quite frankly, at a “like wow” rate of one per every 11 seconds rate, I’ve heard enough.

It’s a Day of Sentencing and Larry King Live, Of Course

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It’s a big day for Chris Brown.  He’ll be officially sentenced today — it’s expected that he’ll be sentenced to five years probation and 180 days of community labor in Virginia — in the case stemming from the incident last February involving Rihanna.  Later tonight he’ll appear on Larry King Live delivering a hopefully less scripted apology that will be actually directed at Rihanna.

As far as the court case is concerned, Rihanna’s lawyer has confirmed that if asked, he will request that the stay-away order be removed.  Currently, they are not allowed within 50 yards of one another (10 yards at business related events).  This would allow the toxic-duo to be together.  When asked if Chris and RiRi were still a couple, her attorney had no comment.

This won’t end well.

Caption This

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Here’s Chris Brown nestled between two of NYC’s finest before playing in the Entertainer’s Basketball Classic at Harlem’s Rucker Park yesterday.  Oh, life can be so ironic sometimes.

Today In Worst Idea Ever

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How many different hotels do you think there are in New York City?  I don’t know the exact number, but I think we can all agree that there are quite a few.  So, why in the world did Rihanna and Chris Brown — the two who aren’t supposed to be within 50 yards of one another — both stay at the Trump International Hotel & Tower this weekend?

The two singers checked into separate rooms on Friday.  They then spent the next two days coming and going in separate cars.  Saturday evening, Brown checked out, once he realized the press caught on reportedly once he realized Rihanna was staying at the same hotel.  If he did violate the restraining order, it would void his probation and he would be charged with misdemeanor (sigh) assault.  Mark Geragos, Brown’s attorney, was asked about Chris’ whereabouts.  He replied, “I don’t want to be quoted on something hypothetical.”

I’ve had suspicions that these two would eventually get back together.  I am still hoping that I’m wrong.  Please, God.

Chris Brown’s Stupidity Never Ends

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Chris Brown dodged jail for beating up Rihanna.  Instead of learning his lesson and trying to live a somewhat drama-free life, he spent Saturday night making out with Kanye West’s on-again, off-again girlfriend Amber Rose.  

Don Juan Chris, 20, arrived at Sean Combs’ and Ashton Kutcher’s party with his Rihanna look-alike on his arm, but eventually ditched her in favor of a public make out session with Kanye’s 26-year-old woman.  What, I beg of you, what is the appeal of this man boy? 

Make no mistake about it, this will be resolved by Chris punching Kanye in the face and Kanye sending ALL-CAP EMAILS to Chris.