Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Brown

Some Asshole Really Thinks We Care What He Thinks

Chris Brown

Chris Brown isn’t too happy that Rihanna went on 20/20 to talk to Diane Sawyer about the abuse between the former couple, but why would he be? Sadly, it seems that Chris thinks that not talking about what happened the night that he beat her face in in Hancock Park will make the incident eventually disappear from the public’s mind, but we all know that as long as anyone’s talking about Christ Brown, “abuser” is going to be the first word that comes to mind.

Chris went to MTV News to talk about his ex’s interview and expressed that even though he understood her reasons for going, he wishes she had just kept quiet. “While I respect Rihanna’s right to discuss the specific events of February 8, I maintain my position that all of the details should remain a private matter between us,” Brown told the network. Of course you would, sweetie, but unfortunately, your lackluster interview with Larry King and the months of silence that Rihanna graciously gave you still left us with questions.

And while we may always think of Chris Brown as a woman-beater, Rihanna wants to make sure that she can move on from this as well. What Chris has to realize when saying that he’d like for this incident to remain private is that he, by nature of his career, cannot be a private person. Once news hits that you’ve beaten your girlfriend, everyone wants to know why. In fact, Rihanna’s reasons for doing the interview was to kind of clear both of their names, “I knew I had to do this in order to move on for me and in order for my fans to move on . . . I don’t want that five years from now every time they see Rihanna, they think of Chris Brown beating me. That’s not who I am.” Perhaps instead of coming across guilt-free in his actions, Chris should take Rihanna’s approach and address the issues head on so that we can all move along.

Rihanna: Eff Love

You know, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Rihanna after she went back to Chris Brown post-beating.  After watching the first clip of her Good Morning America interview as it aired this morning, I just have a lot of respect for her.  I found her to be absolutely riveting to watch and she’s so clear on what she needs to look at.  If you’re being abused, don’t use “love” as the guiding force for what needs to change.  Love is so absolutely blind and has led so many of us down the wrong path.  It’s not easy to turn your back on love, but when it comes to abuse, it’s absolutely necessary.

Anyway, I’m excited to see more on tomorrow’s GMA as well as 20/20.  Stay strong, Rihanna!

Caption This

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Hey, guys!  Here’s Chris Brown’s album cover for his comeback effort, “Graffiti.”  I must say, I’m not surprised to see the singer attempting to spray paint into the eyes of innocent animations.  Are we excited that Chris is back in business?  Do we care?

Forget Weight Watchers and Atkins! Listen to Chris Brown’s Newest Song if You’re Looking to Drop a Few!

Two days ago Rihanna released “Russian Roulette” and the public speculated on its meaning.  Does Rihanna think that staying involved with Chris Brown is like a dangerous game of chance?  And does she feel that she has no choice but to stay in that game?  Or is she just really irresponsible with firearms?  Oh. The. Questions.

Chris Brown has thrown subtlety out the window by going all vomit-inducing Peabo Bryson on our asses.  Today he released “Crawl” which is clearly a song about his desire to rebuild his relationship with Rihanna.  I’ve listed the lyrics below, but in a nutshell it goes like this:  “I know I beat the fuck out of you, but I was wondering if you’d be open to getting back together.  ‘Cuz we can crawl back to love even though I’m the one who beat the fuck out of you.  So, what do you say?”

Now, I don’t know about you, but the line “Love, can you see my hand?” sends chills up my spine.  Yeah, Chris we all see your hand and exactly what damage it’s capable of inflicting.

Everybody see’s it’s you
I’m the one that lost the view
Everybody says we’re through
I hope you hadn’t said it too

So where
Do we go from here
With all this fear in our eyes
And where
Can love take us now
We’ve been so far down
We can still touch the sky

[Chorus] If we crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we’ll run
Until we’re strong enough to jump
Then we’ll fly
Until there is no wind
So lets crawl, crawl, crawwl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, Yeah

[Verse 2] Why did I change the pace
Hearts were never mean’t to race
I always felt the need for space
But now I can’t reach your face
So where
Are you standing now
Are you in the crowd of my vouch
Love, can you see my hand?
I need one more chance
We can still have it all

[Chorus] If we crawl(if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we’ll run (then we’ll run)
Until we’re strong enough to jump
Then we’ll fly
Until there is no wind
So lets crawl, crawl, crawwl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, yeaaah

[Bridge] Everybody see’s it’s you
Well I never wanna lose that view

[Chorus] So we’ll crawl (if we crawl)
Till we can walk again
Then we’ll run (we’ll run)
Until we’re strong enough to jump
Then we’ll fly
Until there is no wind
So lets crawl, crawl, crawwl

So we’ll crawl (ooh)
Till we can walk again (till we can walk again)
Then we’ll run (we’ll run)
Until we’re strong enough to jump (until we’re strong enough to jump)
Then we’ll fly (then we’ll fly)
Until there is no wind
So let’s crawl, let’s crawl, lets crawl
Back to love
Back to love yeah
Back to love

Only The Best Day Ever

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Mischa Barton

Well, my Internet has been out on and off all day.  Frustrating, aggravating, downright infuriating.  Normally, I’d be plucking the legs off of small children bugs by now, but not today folks, not today.  Let me tell you the good news:  Not only is today Chris Brown’s first day of community service, it’s also the premiere of The Beautiful Life.

On day one of his six-month assignment, Chris got to work in a police horse stable in Virginia today!  Will half a year of picking up shit make Chris Brown a better man?  Probably not.  Will half a year of picking up shit bring me pure and unadulterated joy?  Absolutely, yes.  Let’s pray for a freakish autumn heat wave, shall we?

Speaking of horseshit, tonight is the CW’s premiere of The Beautiful Life.  I will be watching intently and I know all seven of you will be, too.  I heard that Elle McPherson’s acting is shit — do you see a theme here? — but who really cares when Mischa is on the screen?  She makes everything better.  She’s the shit salve.  Sorry, folks.  I have to get it all out of my system now because how many episodes do you really think I’ll get to trash before this shit show goes the way of Secret Talents of the Stars?

Chris Brown is a Big Movie Star

It’s not coming out until February, but here’s the trailer for Takers.  On the surface it just seems like another testosterone-fueled blockbuster, but it’s really so much more:  one of the stars is Chris Brown.

America has a short memory and this flick isn’t releasing until next year.  I predict that, good plot or bad, this movie will make hundreds of millions of dollars and Chris Brown will be back on top.

Quotables

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“NOT TRYNA BE RUDE but i keep hearing tila bringing my name up. ur 15 seconds of fame has ended. dont try to gain fans by dissing me.godbless.”

-Chris Brown telling Tila Tequila to stop putting him on blast via Twitter.

The MySpace star tweaked out on Brown via Twitter as a result of her own personal domestic violence case not ending the way she wanted. Brown, who is no stranger to drama, couldn’t take her heat and decided to respond by putting her in her place.