Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Brown

Chris Brown is out of jail!

chris brown

This is a day of celebration/mourning depending on who you are (his mother/the world), because Chris Brown is out of jail! He was recently sentenced to another four months behind bars, where he’s been since March, but he’s out early for time served, of course.

Here’s the scoop from TMZ:

Despite being sentenced on May 9 to 131 days in jail, Brown was sprung around midnight after serving 108 days.

Breezy was actually sentenced to a year behind bars, but got credit for 116 days he spent in rehab, and another 59 days behind bars.

Brown was thrown back behind bars because a judge ruled that Brown had violated his probation in the Rihanna case. He could have been sentenced to as much as four years.

Brown still has his D.C. assault trial looming. That should begin in the next few months.

Well, unfortunately I think the glory days are over – he won’t be sent back to prison after the assault case, I don’t think (though that would be a dream come true) and he can go back to terrorizing the masses. Of course, given Brown’s history, it’s only a matter of time until he fucks up again.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Chris Brown sentenced to another 4 months in jail… but will he serve it?

chris brown getty

Chris Brown has been sitting in a jail cell for the past couple of months, and I love it. I was really hoping he was going to stay there once a judge heard his latest assault case – which, by the way, is yet another violation of his 2009 probation from when he beat the shit out of Rihanna – but alas, that’s not the case, most likely. Chris saw a judge for the probation violation this week, and while he was sentenced to a further four months behind bars, loopholes mean he might be out by the end of the week.

From TMZ:

Brown was in court Friday afternoon … where he admitted he violated his probation by getting into a fight with a dude in Washington D.C.

That’s all the judge needed to hear.  He sentenced Chris to 1 year in jail.  HOWEVER, Chris got credit for 116 days he spent in rehab, and another 59 days behind bars.  That leaves 131 days in the pokey.

But we’re told the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept has been releasing inmates sentenced to 1 year after 240 days.  And here’s the thing.  Chris gets credit for 2 days for every 1 he served behind bars, so when you add it up, he has credit for 234 days — 6 days shy.  So he could be released in days.

The judge could have gone a lot harder — 4 years in prison.  But Chris got a break because the judge took into account he was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which could account for some of the violence.

The judge also ordered Chris to attend therapy sessions with a shrink 2 times a week.   And he must submit to random drug testing 3 times a week.

Ugh, so ridiculous. HOW MANY TIMES has he been ordered to see a therapist, do community service, go to anger management, etc? Sorry, but no amount of counseling is going to turn this piece of shit into a decent human being, and I feel pretty confident saying that.

The one hope is that his DC assault case is yet to be heard – that’ll happen early next month, so he could end up right back where he started.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Chris Brown is having some fun in jail… not!

chris brown

You know what they say: time flies when you’re sitting in a prison cell. That’s the saying, right? Well, it’s hard to believe that Chris Brown has actually been behind bars for nearly seven weeks now – and he’ll stay there until May 9 at the very least, when the next part of his assault case is heard in a DC court.

While it was previously reported that his jail situation was pretty cushy, things seemed not all that awesome on Thursday when he hit up court looking a bit haggard and… I suppose how you’d expect a prisoner to look:

Apparently he could go to jail for up to 4 years if a judge decides it. Come on, judge! Restore my faith in the legal system!

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Well, Chris Brown is looking good!

chris brown

Celebrity mugshots are always sort of hilarious (depending on the person in them), but there’s nothing funny about Chris Brown‘s latest set. Some CBS affiliate, WUSA9, got hold of the photos from Brown’s arrest last October in DC – the reason he’s sat in a cushy Virginia jail cell at the moment awaiting trial later this month.

He looks… well, a goddamn mess, frankly. What’s going on with the hair? What’s going on with all of it? He looks like a junkie, to be honest… and like jail’s a good place for him to be. Unfortunately, even if he’s convicted, the maximum sentence is 180 days (until he’s back on the street, undoubtedly commits under crime and ends up straight back there).

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Chris Brown is enjoying his new jail cell

chris brown

The last we checked in with our good pal Chris Brown, he was traveling across the country on a US Marshal-guarded plane on his way to DC. While his lawyer failed to get the judge to drop his assault charges and he’s forced to go to trial, he’s also living it up in a cushy jail while he waits for that day to arrive.

Chris arrived in Washington, D.C. after a 5-day trek from California courtesy of Con-Air.

An administrator at Northern Neck Regional Jail in Virginia confirms Chris is currently an inmate — and he’s quick to add Chris isn’t getting special treatment.

Chris has been placed in limited general population with no restrictions — meaning he gets to enjoy all the amenities of the facility, including:

– Daily showers
– TV
– Library
– Telephone
– Exercise
– Meals in the cafeteria

He’s also not in solitary confinement for a change, so he has to mix with other inmates. No telling if that’s a good or a bad thing – I’m not sure that beating on women is necessarily applauded even in jail, but who knows.

Jail is hilarious to me. Free rent, free meals, TV, hot water, telephone privileges, being able to go outside? HOW IS THIS PUNISHMENT? Send his ass back to solitary and let him stew there for a while longer.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Chris Brown may miss his DC court date

Chris Brown Court Appearance

Chris Brown was taken into US Marshal custody last week to begin making his way across the country to DC to stand trial for assault there, which was a sweet, sweet touch of karma. Well, turns out, he might not actually make it to his court date today since there seem to be some travel delays.

Chris Brown learned a lesson this week … what it must have been like travelling across the country by stagecoach … because four days into his journey he is still not in Washington D.C.

TMZ broke the story … Brown was taken from his L.A. County jail cell Thursday by U.S. Marshals for the cross country trip.

We’re told he made several stops along the way and typically when a prisoner lands he is taken to a nearby jail to wait for the next available flight.

Brown’s lawyer Mark Geragos will be in a D.C. courtroom Monday trying to get his client’s case dismissed on grounds of grand jury misconduct. It’s unclear if Chris will make it to the hearing.

Brown will stand trial April 17th for allegedly assaulting a man outside a D.C. hotel.

LOL to Brown’s lawyer trying to claim jury misconduct. How about interfering with the witness since Brown wanted to pay him off to drop the charges?

God, I really want this asshole to rot in jail. I know it’s too much to hope for, but I suppose only time will tell…

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

LOL: Chris Brown is in the custody of US Marshals

Chris Brown Court Hearing - Los Angeles, CA

Chris Brown has been desperately trying to buy his way out of jail and claiming that he’s being picked on by, you know, being put behind bars for repeatedly violating his parole. However, things have just taken an infinitely more awesome turn, because not only did he NOT get out of jail, but he’s been handed over to the feds to be flown to DC to stand trial for assault. YESSSSSS.

From CNN:

Chris Brown’s trip to face trial in Washington will be on the Justice Department’s “Con Air” prisoner airline, not on a private jet or a first class commercial ticket as the singer hoped.

Brown, 24, was transferred into the custody of federal marshals after an extradition hearing in federal court in Los Angeles on Wednesday, according to U.S. Marshals Service spokewoman Laura Vega.

Brown will be booked on a series of government planes that hopscotch across the country taking inmates from prison to prison, Vega said. The trip, with several layovers in jails along the way, could take up to two weeks, she said.

Unlike Brown’s usual mode of touring the country in luxury, he will be wearing handcuffs and possibly chains on his legs.

This is awesome. Even if he ends up getting off for this – and he probably will, but God I hope not – at least he had to deal with this shit. Is it over-the-top? Maybe. BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH. This idiot needs to realize he’s not above the law. Maybe then he’ll stop being a dickhead, but I think that’s probably a little too ingrained now for him to change that.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook