Yesterday, news broke that surprised exactly no one but horrified us all: Chris Brown is the father of a 9-month-old baby girl with a former model named Nia. Unfortunately, this news wasn’t really welcome to Chris’s on-again, off-again girlfriend Karrueche Tran, who is pissed off because she’s partied with Nia without ever knowing that Nia has a baby with her boyfriend. Um… oops?
In any case, Karrueche ain’t having it and she’s decided to break up with Chris for the 900th time:
Well, for now, anyway. I’m sure they’ll be back together in no time. Of course, she claims this gives her a “clean break” from the shitty relationship, but if she hasn’t done it yet, I doubt this will be the final straw.
Here’s a pic of Nia and Karrueche partying together that TMZ got a hold of, because of course they did:
Chris Brown has always wanted children – hell, he wanted to knock up both Rihanna and Karrueche at the same time since, you know, he was fucking them both simultaneously. It looks like this wish has already been granted, since TMZ found out that he actually has a 9-month-old daughter!
The baby’s mother is a 31-year-old former model named Nia–who we’re told has known Chris for several years.
Sources connected to both Nia and Chris tell us they are on very good terms — however they’re not together romantically. We’re told 25-year-old Chris is happy about being a father.
It does not appear there is a formal child support order in place — and we do not know the nature of any informal terms of support.
Yikes. If there’s anything worse than Chris Brown’s mere existence, it’s the thought of him fathering a child. Then again, biologically fathering a child and actually helping to raise it as an actual father are two totally different things, and unsurprisingly, it seems like he’s skipping out on he latter. Way to be a scumbag, Chris! Wouldn’t have expected anything less.
Then again, maybe this is the kindest thing he’s ever done – saving that poor child from himself.
Chris Brown is such a walking bag of dicks that I long ago lost words to describe him any more coherently or intelligently. He just fucking sucks. Funny enough, though, HE doesn’t think he sucks. In fact, he thinks he’s pretty amazing and that any woman should be so lucky to have him. Especially Rihanna! Yep, that’s right. Chris actually claimed during an interview with The Breakfast Club that Rihanna will never do better than him.
Here’s what he said when asked about Kanye West‘s line of “If you leave Mickey, you gon’ end up with Goofy/I imagine that’s what Chris told Karrueche” line in some Big Sean track that I don’t know or care about (not because I don’t love hip hop but because Big Sean is corny as hell).
“I feel what he meant by it, and I’m not just saying it as an arrogant statement. In any situation, when you look at yourself in a certain light – cocky or not – there’s nowhere else to go. Even with [Rihanna], who else you gonna go to? [...] Who else in this game she gonna go to? Some corny singing rapper? What she do now, I got respect for her and all that, whatever her choice is. But at the time, not to toot my own own, but who hotter than me?”
The curry I ate for dinner is hotter than you, Chris Brown. Literally everything on this planet is hotter than you.
But I mean, come on, maybe Chris is right. How good did Rihanna have it with him? He only beat the shit out of her and refused to apologize or show any remorse about it and instead raged by breaking windows and ripping his shirt off like The Hulk whenever anyone dared to point his violent behavior out to him. I’m sure he was an AWESOME boyfriend!
Also, not to point out the obvious here, but maybe it’s Chris that’s ended up with a Goofy, considering he ended up with a woman who… kinda looks exactly like Rihanna (or is doing her best impersonation). Get out of my face.
“Whatever decision my man wanna make, I’ma rock with him. I ain’t gonna fight none of his battles, but it’s just like whatever decision you make. We see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, so I feel like I’ll just tell him ‘Aye man, if you was dating some regular weak chick, you wouldn’t be talked about, nobody would care.”
If you want to torture yourself, you can watch/listen to the whole thing here. You can also skip to about the 27 minute mark, where Chris – classy, classy Chris – talks about wanting to get both Rihanna and Karreuche pregnant at the same time.
If you plan to go see Chris Brown perform anytime soon, be warned – someone (maybe you!) will probably get shot. A whopping FIVE people got shot at his show at a San Jose nightclub last weekend, and it turns out the judge in charge of Chris’ probation isn’t really feeling the fact that Chris went to San Jose without consent and revoked his probation because of it during a court appearance yesterday.
Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge James Brandlin, however, did not order Brown to be taken into custody and ordered a further report and hearing on the singer’s status.
Jane Robison, district attorney’s spokesman said Brown specifically violated a provision that forbids him to leave Los Angeles County. In addition, he still has 200 hours of community service to complete.
His next hearing is scheduled for March 20, when a full probation report will be given. Also, he still has to perform 200 of the 1,000 ordered community service hours.
Can we just state the obvious again and say that Chris Brown is the fucking worst? I mean, he clearly knew he needed permission to leave LA – but oh, sorry, I forgot the law doesn’t apply to Chris Brown. He’s immune. I hope he does some other dumb shit – which I’m 99.9% certain he will – and his probation is revoked. Throw his ass back in jail and let him rot – he’s obviously not contributing a damn thing to society.
Chris Brown was performing at something called a “Capricorn Bash” birthday party at a nightclub in San Jose, California on Saturday night, when suddenly… Shit Went Down. Basically, five people got shot (all are expected to live) and Chris – who was mid-singing when the shots broke out – had a rather bizarre reaction:
A video posted by Ms Jessica The Girl Next Door (@heymsjessica) on
Can I just say, if I heard gunshots mere yards from where I stood, I’d have been out of there so fast, your head would spin. I mean, he just flinches and looks on? Though I guess that’s standard when you’re a hardcore gangbanger and all.
Also, side note, but it seems all Chris can book these days is nightclub appearances… Why are people still paying to see this shithead?
Chris Brown has a whopping 1,000 hours of community service to complete as part of his probation sentencing, which stems back from when he beat the shit out of Rihanna years ago. Well, he’s finally decided to start taking this seriously, apparently, and has been doing long days full of hard labour to try and get as much of the requirement satisfied before his next court date in February.
We’ve learned, since November 13, Chris has been doing physical labor 6 hours a day, 5 days a week to complete his 1,000 hours by the next court hearing in mid-January. There have been a few weeks where work has gotten in the way, but the drill is 6/5.
Chris’ community service in the Rihanna case requires hard labor, and we’re told he’s working at a facility approved by the Probation Dept., painting, cleaning, trash removal, moving furniture … stuff like that.
Last Friday Chris put his 6 hours in and then jumped on a plane to Jacksonville, FL where he performed that night at the Memorial Arena. He then flew to Columbia, South Carolina for a Saturday show, then on to Birmingham, AL for a Sunday performance. He took a private jet back to L.A. for hard labor Monday.
And we’re told … he hasn’t complained or acted up.
Our sources say he’s on track to tell the judge during the next court appearance … mission accomplished.
Yeah, he hasn’t acted up FOR NOW. A tiger never changes its strips – this asshole will be back to the same shit tomorrow. In fact, it’s not like he actually ever changed, anyway – he still treats people, specifically women, like trash. The least he can be forced to do is pick some up for a few hours. But once a dickhead, always a dickhead – I find it hard to believe in redemption for Chris Brown, though I suppose a Christmas miracle is always possible…
Chris Brown and on-again, off-again girlfriend Karrueche Tran have been having social media drama lately. Apparently Chris claims that Karrueche never visited him when he was in prison because she was too busy dating Drake, though Drake has said that’s bullshit because she’s not even his type and it was all this utter nonsense that led Chris to drag Karrueche on Instagram and yell “Fuck that bitch!” to a crowd of concert-goers in California last week. It’s a hot mess, but definitely nothing new for Chris… but he’s sorry now, and that counts for something… right?
Well, that’s… special. Please tell me that Karrueche’s thirst isn’t going to overwhelm her again and she’s going to get back with this utter waste of space. This is NOTHING new for him, and while words might be the way he lashed out this time, he might use his fists the next time he decides to throw a fit. Get rid of his asshole.
By the way, some Breezy fan apparently reported Karrueche’s Instagram account as an impersonation and it’s deactivated at the moment, so she hopefully won’t even see this bullshit.