Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Cherie Currie

OH GOD YES IT’S THE LA PREMIERE OF RUNAWAYS

I have been waiting for this moment FOREVAH. No one will actually end up seeing this movie (I predict it will be a phenomenal flop), but this red carpet moment is to DIE for.

Kirsten Stewart. Joan Jett. Dakota Fanning. Cherie Currie.

It’s like Kristen and Dakota are these young women who should be incredibly confident with their sexuality on a red carpet and yet are both incredibly awkward with it, and Joan and Cherie are these two older women who should be downplaying their sexuality on a red carpet and yet both are like “LOOK AT MY HALF-NUDE BODY, DON’T YOU WANT TO THROW ME DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND DO COCAINE OFF ME, TAYLOR LAUTNER??”

Also there: Taylor Lautner (duh, Cherie Currie brought him in her left tit because he’s not old enough to drive yet), Ryan O’Neal, Tatum O’Neal, and, in the coup de grace, Judge Reinhold, for reasons that will remain a mystery (read: he’s Kristen Stewart’s date).

Lastly: If that Dakota Fanning puts on any more weight I’m gonna have to start calling her Dakota Fatting.*

*Kidding, of course. She couldn’t be any thinner. But sometimes I like to rile you guys up. Okay, always.

And We Finally Have a Theatrical Trailer for The Runaways

Meh. I’m not super excited about this. I don’t know what kind of spark I was hoping for with this flick, but I’m not seeing it in the trailer. That said, I think it was a smart choice of film for Dakota Fanning as she navigates the transition from child stardom to adult actress. She gets to play a drug-addicted sex symbol under the guise of it being a very important story. It’s not that she’s posing half-naked on beds and tables just so America won’t think of her as a little girl anymore — she’s doing it to capture the essence of a turning point in rock and in the way the music industry views women. Well-played, Dakota.