I have been waiting for this moment FOREVAH. No one will actually end up seeing this movie (I predict it will be a phenomenal flop), but this red carpet moment is to DIE for.
Kirsten Stewart. Joan Jett. Dakota Fanning. Cherie Currie.
It’s like Kristen and Dakota are these young women who should be incredibly confident with their sexuality on a red carpet and yet are both incredibly awkward with it, and Joan and Cherie are these two older women who should be downplaying their sexuality on a red carpet and yet both are like “LOOK AT MY HALF-NUDE BODY, DON’T YOU WANT TO THROW ME DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND DO COCAINE OFF ME, TAYLOR LAUTNER??”
Also there: Taylor Lautner (duh, Cherie Currie brought him in her left tit because he’s not old enough to drive yet), Ryan O’Neal, Tatum O’Neal, and, in the coup de grace, Judge Reinhold, for reasons that will remain a mystery (read: he’s Kristen Stewart’s date).
Lastly: If that Dakota Fanning puts on any more weight I’m gonna have to start calling her Dakota Fatting.*
*Kidding, of course. She couldn’t be any thinner. But sometimes I like to rile you guys up. Okay, always.