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Charlize Theron

8Quotables: Charlize Theron Wants to Kill Kristen Stewart

A photo of Charlize Theron

“She just turned 21. She’s a child. When I think about myself at 21, I had just done The Devil’s Advocate, and Keanu [Reeves] had paparazzi following him and Al Pacino said this thing to me: ‘If I knew that my life would be under this kind of scrutiny, I would have never become an actor.’?” And I thought, Wow. I couldn’t comprehend it. And Kristen is just living this to the max and still has a sense of humor about it. There’s this really lovely quality about her that just doesn’t give a f*ck. A lot of people say they don’t, but then they go home and cry and pop a Xanax. Kristen actually doesn’t give a f*ck. That’s what’s so refreshing about her. I’m looking forward to killing her and taking her beauty. That’s what happens, right?”

- Charlize Theron describes her love and admiration and plans for the eventual murder of Kristen Stewart to Vogue.

Have I mentioned how beautiful and perfect Charlize Theron is lately? Because she really, really is. However, the idea that Charlize would actually suggest, however jokingly, that she wants to kill Kristen Stewart to take her beauty is appalling to me. I’m not saying that Kristen isn’t pretty, because of course she is, but … it’s Charlize Theron …

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November 14, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Emily

1Watch This: the Trailer for Jason Reitman’s ‘Young Adult’ Is Here!

Oh man, oh man, oh man. This trailer looks so good, right?

Charlize Theron stars in Young Adult as Mavis Gary, an insufferable “young adult” fiction writer who returns to her Minnesota hometown hoping to make her old high school boyfriend fall in love with her (thanks, IMDb). And! It co-stars my dream man, Patrick Wilson, who plays the guy Mavis can’t have. And! Patton Oswalt plays the unwilling wingman, an acquaintance from high school who obviously puts up with Mavis’s ish because she’s so darn cute and catty.

I have totally high hopes for this one you guys—like, even higher hopes than I had for One for the Money. For one thing, anyone who’s watched Arrested Development or “Between Two Ferns” knows Charlize has done her career a major disservice, because she has mad comedic timing. Patton Oswalt I’m actually so-so on—I know it isn’t fair to hold King of Queens against him, but I just do—but since he is a Career Nerd, I have to stand with him in solidarity. Then there’s Patrick Wilson, whose filmography is a veritable Rosetta’s Stone of What? Hngh. Love him.

But most importantly, this flick is a Jason Reitman joint. It’s great to see him again paired with breakout screenwriter Diablo Cody (they made Juno together), and this movie could be infinitely more affable. Who wants to see a 15-year old act like she’s 35, anyway? I’d much rather see a 35-year old act like she’s 15. Now you’re speakin’ my language, Cody.

October 7, 2011 at 4:30 am by Jenn

6Charlize Theron Is Totally Boning Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron in early June

Wait, what? No. NO. Maybe. I mean, I can understand, but I am also pretty worried about that headline I just wrote. Can’t everyone just take some time off, do some soul-searching, maybe a little pilates?

Like, I ‘get’ why Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron would go for each other. They’re both funny. They both like privacy. They’re both kind of big and golden and bronze and athletic. They’re serial monogamists, too—Theron recently split from her boyfriend of ten years, Stuart Townsend.

From today’s issue of US Weekly, this month-old “breaking” news:

While the two haven’t been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds’ motorcycle at Theron’s home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m.—and she left just minutes later.

Has Reynolds (who split from wife Scarlett Johansson last December) found a perfect match?

Er? Listen, Anonymous Eyewitness, “I saw Ryan at Charlize’s house mid-morning” is kind of the least salacious gossip ever. Ryan likely motored over to Charlize’s to replace a lightbulb, have some salmon on toast, and do a quick bong rip. I’m really not kidding about the lightbulb thing, either. When I was super-duper single, my apartment was a steady stream of men, all of whom were lifting my TV, installing my air conditioners, and being handy. (As opposed to being “handsy,” if you know what I mean.)

Late last week, Ryan and Scarlett went to dinner together, Page Six reports, during which Scarlett “kept caressing his face” and Ryan “would rub her back periodically.” Gee, I guess the truth is out: everyone is in love with everyone.

July 13, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Jenn

3If You’re Having a Low Self-Esteem Day, Don’t Even Bother With These Photos of Charlize Theron in French ‘Elle’

Charlize Theron is the worst. I mean, who can run around with a face and a body like that and then still kick-ass in a movie where she plays a completely horrible looking serial killer? (BTW, that clip is totally NSFW.) She’s either an alien or easily one of the most desirable human beings on the planet. For the sake of my mental health, I’m going to go with the former. Welcome to Earth, Charlize. You look gorgeous in the July 2010 issue of French Elle. Like, it’s almost unfair.

August 10, 2010 at 2:30 pm by Molls
Filed Under: Charlize Theron

4Brandon Flowers’ New Music Video, And Also Charlize Theron

All right, it came out last week, but if you’ve already seen it, just hush up and watch it again because it’s beautiful.

This song is the first glimpse of Brandon Flowers’ solo efforts (he’s also the lead singer of The Killers, just in case you don’t listen to music that is always catchy and sometimes good), and I think he’s doing pretty well all by himself.  I mean, hey, he got Charlize Theron to be in his music video, and I don’t think that’s anything to shake a stick at.

Also, I love this video.  Charlize Theron being a strong, dedicated heroine who saves poor, hapless Brandon Flowers from all of his unfortunate run-ins with ninjas – what’s not to love?  I also think the ending is lovely, but then again I’ve always been a sucker for tales of damsels in distress with happy endings, and Brandon Flowers makes for a really attractive damsel.  Who knew?

July 9, 2010 at 11:32 am by Emily

15Are Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron Hooking Up?

If so, God … this could be the best thing that’s ever happened to Reeves‘ career! You go, boy!

The folks at TMZ caught quite a lip-lock gropefest that occurred between the two after dinner together last night in Beverly Hills. I just can’t imagine this not being real, especially if someone like the A-listed Theron was willing to appear groping and nuzzling the likes of Keanu Reeves in public while rocking back and forth like tenth-grade sweethearts. In Beverly Hills, of all places.

If y’all want to lead such private lives, you better keep it in your pants in public, man. Those TMZ bastards are fucking everywhere.

Vid courtesy of TMZ

May 4, 2010 at 8:33 am by Sarah
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