Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Charlize Theron

Are Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron Hooking Up?

If so, God … this could be the best thing that’s ever happened to Reeves‘ career! You go, boy!

The folks at TMZ caught quite a lip-lock gropefest that occurred between the two after dinner together last night in Beverly Hills. I just can’t imagine this not being real, especially if someone like the A-listed Theron was willing to appear groping and nuzzling the likes of Keanu Reeves in public while rocking back and forth like tenth-grade sweethearts. In Beverly Hills, of all places.

If y’all want to lead such private lives, you better keep it in your pants in public, man. Those TMZ bastards are fucking everywhere.

Vid courtesy of TMZ

The Oscars – The Dresses (Part I)

During the red carpet foolishness known as ABC’s pre-Oscars warm-up show, one of the actresses — I think it was Meryl Streep- said that she loves coming to the Oscars because she gets to see all her friends dressed up. I have to agree. I giggle a little bit every time I see Jeff Bridges in a tuxedo because it’s like seeing my stoner hippie father at a wedding.

It was a classy affair at the Oscars tonight. Charlize Theron,  Kate Winslet, and Cameron Diaz were particularly stunning (as usual) and Sandra Bullock, who has a habit of being hit or miss, was gorgeous. There weren’t many terrible dresses, just some that were underwhelming– such as Rachel McAdams’ Ellie Saab gown that kind of  looks like a bedspread from a budget motel – pastel, with a pattern designed to camouflage old cum stains.

Also in this gallery: Kristen Stewart, Sigourney Weaver, Meryl Streep, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gabourey Sidibe, and Carey Mulligan.

Just Because It’s Charlize Theron

I’m convinced that the folks over at Funny or Die must get the corporate rate on medical marijuana.  What other possible tactic might they employ to get some of the biggest stars to participate in their oftentimes not hysterical skits?  Zach Galifianakis — no, that’s not Joaquin Phoenix — appears in another episode of the fictional show Between Two Ferns with Charlize Theron as his guest.

Charlize Theron’s Boyfriend Doesn’t Appreciate Ass Smacking

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I love hearing about celebrities’ less-than-stellar moments, especially when they look like Charlize Theron.  Because if you look like Charlize Theron, I need to know that some part of your life is crap.  Apparently, Friday night was crap night for the actress.

“She leaned over the table and smacked some other guys ass,” an eyewitness tells us.

“Stuart looked pissed, and looked at her and said ‘Why did you do that?’”

Clearly she didn’t have a satisfactory answer, as our onlooker tells us the couple bickered all evening before heading out.

“They constantly fought the rest of the night together, and ended up leaving the party early in a big huff,” said the spy.

You know, I think her boyfriend better get over it.  I mean, he’s truly the luckiest man in the world to have hitched to her star for this long, so if she wants to smack some dude’s ass, he needs to just accept that.  I wonder when the TMZ video of all this will surface?

Quotables

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“I don’t like living in an elitist world, it bothers me. I don’t want to be part of an elitist sexual preference. It bothers me.  Maybe it’s because I come from a country where I lived under apartheid.  This is a form of apartheid and I don’t want to be a part of that.”

Charlize Theron in an MSN interview comparing the ban on same-sex marriages to apartheid.  She has also gone completely Brangelina and vowed not to marry long-time partner Stuart Townsend until gay marriage is legal in every state.

This Is a More Effective Way to Promote a Movie: Charlize Theron Bares It All in New Flick

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On one hand, you can release a video of Gary Coleman whining about his mortgage and his all-around sucky life.

On the other hand, you can “leak” photos of Charlize Theron’s bare chest and ass.

I say the winner here is the team behind The Burning Plain, hottie Charlize’s latest film.

Uncensored pics are here. Don’t bother “reading” the article. There isn’t one, really. Just the pics of Charlize’s boobies.

Welcome to advertising in the recession age, kids.

Look Who’s Helping!

Charlize Theron was inducted today as a UN Messenger of Peace, where she’ll focus on ending violence against women and girls around the globe.

The South African native told reporters she will take on her new responsibilities “very humbly, with a very excited heart.”

I didn’t know this about Charlize, but, apparently, at age fifteen she witnessed her mother shoot her alcoholic father to death while he was threatening the family. I can’t even imagine what a horrific and life-altering experience that must be, and it’s fantastic that she’s able to direct that energy toward such a great cause today. Hooray for Oscar-winning actresses who are also great role models. Thank you for showing that people like you exist, Charlize.