Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Charlie Sheen

Denise Richards Is Watching Charlie Sheen’s Kids Because She Didn’t Have a Choice

denise richards charlie sheen

Well, that’s nice. Denise Richards may be looking after Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller‘s kids while they’re both too busy snorting coke lines off of public restroom toilet seats and being colossal fuck-ups instead of being parents, but she’s really only doing it because there’s no one else and, you know, she’s got a heart.

From US Weekly:

“You just figure it out because you don’t have a choice. You have these children depending on you,” she explained to Us of how she manages. “You prioritize. I had children because I want to be a parent, and I want to be there for them.”

“I think my biggest challenge is [that] their different activities sometimes overlap,” she added, noting that she tries to attend everything. “I have a good schedule going. You just manage.”

“My situation with Charlie is that we’ve gotten along for quite some time now, and it’s so much better,” she told Us. “There are a lot of feelings and emotions there, but at the end of the day, our daughters benefit from us getting along, and [I do], too.”

“I don’t want to have an unhealthy relationship with him, something toxic with a lot of animosity. Life’s too short for that,” she continued. “We actually enjoy hanging out, and we enjoy being with the kids.”

Huh, well, I guess I’ve gotta hand it to Denise Richards – raising your own kids isn’t easy, but taking on your ex’s when you’re not even together anymore? Danger zone, girl. I wonder if Bob and Max – Mueller’s kids – are ever like, “Yo Denise, where the hell are our parents?” Probably not, but they have to wonder why they’re staying with her.

Charlie Sheen’s Ex Wife And Lindsay Lohan Meet Up In Rehab

charlie sheen lindsay lohan anger management

Charlie Sheen really knows how to bring people together. His ex wife, Brooke Mueller, was recently admitted to The Betty Ford Center. That happens to be where Lindsay Lohan is staying for her mandatory rehabbing. Coincidence?

Apparently Lohan’s already run into Mueller, and no, it wasn’t with her car. Good job, Lohan! You’re getting better already.

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan could be getting support from someone who has done cocaine waaaay more than 4 or 5 times … ’cause Brooke Mueller’s in the house!

Sources familiar with cocaine tell TMZ … Brooke and Lindsay are currently staying in the hospital wing at The Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage.  In fact we’re told they’ve already run into each other and exchanged pleasantries … not drugs.

Mueller and Sheen’s children were removed from her home last week due to suspected (and now confirmed) drug abuse, which explains why Mueller is in rehab currently.

I think the most amazing thing about all of this is that Charlie Sheen isn’t in there with him. How is Charlie Sheen not in jail or in rehab right now? How does he get through everything unscathed? And not just unscathed, but celebrated?

Brooke Mueller Is Definitely In Hospital for Drug Abuse

brooke mueller charlie sheen

No one really knew where in the hell Brooke Mueller was after authorities took her and Charlie Sheen‘s two kids and handed them over to Denise Richards for a nice long babysitting spell. Well, now we have a bit of an update – Brooke’s in hospital for drug abuse issues… again. After detoxing, she’s due to hit a residential treatment center, which I’m sure will totally be successful and not at all another massive f-cking waste of time as per usual.

From US Weekly:

“Despite reports to the contrary, Brooke is currently at UCLA Medical Center where she has been since being admitted May 3,” a rep for Mueller, 35, tells Us Weekly.

Rumors circulated that Mueller — who has struggled with substance abuse before — had been admitted to a psychiatric facility. Clarifies her rep: “Brooke will be [at UCLA Medical Center] for several more days, and will likely transition directly into a residential treatment facility to get help for prescription drug abuse.”

In a talked-about arrangement, Bob and Max are currently staying with their father’s second ex-wife, Denise Richards. “Brooke misses her children, and wants to get healthy so she can resume her life and get back to being a mom,” the rep continues.

I’d just like to mention that this is Brooke’s 20th time in rehab. TWENTY. This woman has had TWENTY times to get her shit together for the sake of her children, if she didn’t give enough of a shit about herself (which clearly she didn’t). What in the hell is wrong with people?

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Are Disasters; Their Kids Are Safest With Denise Richards

charlie sheen scary movie premiere

Charlie Sheen‘s kids were taken from his ex wife Brooke Mueller last night. Sheen and Mueller have twin boys that are in Mueller’s custody but were taken after deeming her home “unsafe” and given to Sheen’s other ex wife, Denise Richards, because Charlie Sheen is f-cking crazy and shouldn’t be around children. Richards and Sheen have 2 daughters who are also in her custody.

From TMZ:

Sources close to the situation tell TMZ … officials from the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services arrived to Brooke’s home Thursday with a warrant — and took 4-year-old Bob and Max out of the house.

… Sources tell us … officials determined Brooke’s home was unsafe because they suspected she was using drugs again — something she’s been struggling with for years — and they believed the children were in danger.

We’re told a court hearing has been set for next week — in the hopes of finding a more permanent solution regarding where the children should live.

It’s unclear why Charlie was not given temporary custody of the kids — but let’s get serious, even Sheen knows they’re in better hands with Denise.

Yup, agreed on that one, TMZ. I think we are all aware of the madness that is Charlie Sheen’s life. Lindsay Lohan bullshit aside, his real problems are his questionable parenting skills and tempter, like when he pulled a knife on Mueller. As for Mueller, she’s been in and out of rehab quite a bit. She was also arrested and charged with possession and intent to distribute. So basically both parents are unstable at this time.

Ms. Richards has full-time custody of her kids with Sheen, so at some point it was decided that she is the best person to take care of Mueller and Sheens’ boys. Considering that she Mueller seem to get along and that she loves Mueller and Sheens’ kids, this all worked out really, really well. Those kids could easily be in the custody of CPS.

BUT Denise Richards has had her own share of problems lately, and has caused some alarm for looking very, very thin.

denise richards very skinny

Denise AKA Dr. Christmas Jones from the worst Bond movie ever, responded to the criticism saying,

I don’t know why lately I’ve been getting so much flak for it [being skinny]. I have a very healthy lifestyle, and I’m busy. — (via NY Daily News).

In all fairness, if Charlie Sheen was my ex husband, I think I would also look gaunt and exhausted.

Lindsay Lohan And Charlie Sheen Sex Tape!!

lindsay lohan charlie sheen sex tape scary movie 5

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen‘s video of the two of them in bed together was leaked online today. Okay, fine, it’s a clip from Scary Movie 5. In it, Mr. Sheen pokes fun at his love of filming women while he f-cks them and Ms. Lohan mocks her pride in “keeping a low profile.” And God, the poor girl’s face is botoxed to the highest of heavens.

Is it funny? No, not really. Is it unfunny? No, not really. As far as Lohan film cameos go, it’s not nearly as bad as the movie she did for the Shamwow guy. But NOTHING will be that bad.

So how long before you think we’ll see a Lohan/Sheen sex tape for real? They’re such good ~~friends~~ after all.

OH AND SPEAKING OF SEX TAPES, where the hell was the Joe Jonas sex tape we were promised??

Lohan Not Totally Insane; Rejects Sheen’s Mentor Offer

lindsay lohan blonde yikes

Lindsay Lohan did something smart for a change, so naturally it made news. As we reported, yesterday Charlie “Only In America Would I Still Have A Career” Sheen offered to be Lindsay “This Tran Wreck Don’t Stop For No One” Lohan’s mentor:

From TMZ:

“I have a kinship with somebody [Lindsay] who clearly needs a mentor, whether she wants one or not. She can continue to hang out with her dress shredding club buddies, or turn to me for some advice from a guy who’s been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey.”

He adds, “If she listens, she’ll win. If she doesn’t, that’s on her.”

In an amazing moment of clarity and brilliance, Ms. Lohan declined his offer. From TMZ again:

Sources close to LiLo tell TMZ … while she appreciates everything Sheen has done for her — and he’s done a lot — she would NEVER take him as a mentor. She’s saying she knows her life is “out of control,” but doesn’t think the precept, “It takes one to know one,” is the way to go.

She says she’s grateful Charlie gave her $100k for her back taxes and supported her in “Scary Movie 5.” Lindsay says she talks to Charlie from time to time … but gripes he has no business talking about her to the media.

This is HILARIOUS. Emilio, it’s your turn!

emilio estevez breakfast club gif

Charlie Sheen Wants to Be Lindsay Lohan’s Mentor

Christ almighty, what is it with Charlie Sheen‘s obsession with Lindsay Lohan? He’s been throwing cash her way for months now to help with unpaid taxes, shredded dresses and the like… and now he wants to mentor her. I just can’t.

From TMZ:

Charlie tells TMZ, “I have a kinship with somebody [Lindsay] who clearly needs a mentor, whether she wants one or not. She can continue to hang out with her dress shredding club buddies, or turn to me for some advice from a guy who’s been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey.”

He adds, “If she listens, she’ll win. If she doesn’t, that’s on her.”

Let’s get this straight. This crack-addicted womanizer who thinks “WINNING!” is a good catchphrase is going to teach another crackhead how to… what, smoke more crack? Talk completely bonkers nonsense in interviews so that people wonder if she’s gone off the deep end for good? I think she’s got that one covered, bro.

The blind should never lead the blind, people. What’s so difficult to understand? Also, she’s half his age and clearly not in her right mind – what’s his interest in her? If he truly believes he’s in a position to save anyone else, then he really has lost the plot and should be institutionalized… maybe in a cell right next to hers?