Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger recently tied the knot after a whirlwind romance that would rival that of Elizabeth Taylor and Tim Burton, and they’ve got a fool-proof method to make sure nothing comes between them: marriage rules! That’s right, Avril and Chad are both banned from having any alcohol or going to any nightclubs without each other, no matter how long they’re apart. Because nothing says “loving, trusting relationship” like prohibiting your other half from doing anything fear that s/he might not have enough self control not to cheat on you.
“We don’t drink when we’re apart,” says Kroeger. “Ever. Even if we’re apart for weeks.” Lavigne says that it’s just the responsible thing to do. “We want to protect what we have,” she says.
No nightclubs. “We don’t want to go anywhere that you’re asking for trouble,” says Kroeger. He adds, “I don’t want to be in Europe texting her, like ‘Where are you?’ ” he says. “This way we don’t have to worry about any of that stuff.”
LOL. I mean, listen – if they’re both okay with this, then whatever, everyone Namaste and all that. And there is, of course, the added element of their “fame”, which means paparazzi will make shit up if they see one of them out and they happen to be talking to someone of the opposite sex, even if it’s just to order a drink. Also, if you’re married, I don’t really see why you’d be big into the club scene anyway. To dance? I mean, maybe, but… not really, so I can sorta see the motivation behind this. I still think it’s corny and probably largely based on the fact that Avril cheated on Derek Whibley when they were together (right?). Who even knows.
I think they’ll be divorced within the next two years.
November 6, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Canada’s Wills & Kate, Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger, united in holy matrimony over the summer and as if that celebration of love wasn’t enough, they’ve now recorded a duet together and it’s here just for you. The song is called ‘Let Me Go’ and will appear on Avril’s upcoming album, which is out this November. I find it interesting that the song is about breaking up and letting go. Why not a song about your undying passion for one another and/or poutine? Come on, people!
To be honest, it’s not quite as bad as I thought it was. It actually rivals the Katy Perry/John Mayer duet for awfulness, which is quite high praise for these two. What do you think? Don’t lie – I know you’re going to order it on iTunes!
October 8, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer
I know we all thought Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger were tying the knot in France on Saturday, but it actually happened on Monday, which was Canada Day, because of course their love is bigger than a national holiday. They apparently had a Canada-themed wedding extravaganza that kicked off on Saturday in Cannes and culminated in a big ceremony yesterday (which we have no actual reports of just yet).
Here’s what we do know, from E! News:
The couple’s three-day wedding celebration kicked off last night in the South of France in Cannes with a rehearsal dinner, a wedding source tells E! News.
“[Avril] picked Cannes because she’s spent significant time in Paris in the past few years and summered in places like St. Tropez,” the source said. “She’s very immersed in French food, ambiance and culture. It’s her favorite place to be.”
While the pair isn’t expecting a ton of celebs at their affair, former X Factor judge L.A. Reid is expected to attend the duo’s nuptials.
The actual ceremony will be held Monday night at an undisclosed location, and according to the source, not even the guests know where they’re going just yet.
They’re all being picked up from a location in Cannes and driven to the wedding venue.
Well, that’s… exciting. I’m sure they had a grand old time.
July 2, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger – Canada’s royal couple – have been planning their “spectacular” wedding for a few months now, and apparently tied the knot on Saturday in France. The news wasn’t released by the newlyweds, but instead by some bro named Mike Heller, the CEO of Talent Resources, who posted that shit on his Twitter.
I'm in south of France about to see my little Rok star #avril get married I am so happy to be part of this special celebration
— Mike Heller (@mikehellertr) June 29, 2013
No pictures will be sent since this is #avril wedding but I will tell you everyone is so excited
— Mike Heller (@mikehellertr) June 29, 2013
Way to go, Mike. No one asked you to share this shit on social networking. God, you can’t do jack shit without someone putting it on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Tumblr, whatever. Love that this dude thought he’d get “#avril” trending, as well.
Also, LOL no I’m not really mad that he told everyone they got married, because I literally have never cared less about something. Still, it is a shame that as ~celebrities~ all your “friends” and even business people apparently don’t know the definition of discretion. I only have one question about this ceremony: do you think Marilyn Manson was the flower girl?
June 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger probably made your genitals shrivel and your body to begin involuntarily dry heaving last year when they announced they are engaged to be married because, you know… ew and stuff. In any case, Canada’s answer to William & Kate deserve nothing less than the very best, so that’s why Avril’s planning a “spectacular” wedding celebration for the pair. Oh, I bet!
From Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show:
“That’s how we met [by recording together]. I was really excited to work with Chad because he’s also a musician. We wrote a bunch of songs together, became really good friends, and now we have a wedding coming up.”
“It’s [going to be] kind of just a lot of close friends and family – it is sort of smaller. It’s going to be quite spectacular, and there’s a theme to it and we’re going pretty big. But Chad doesn’t even know everything yet!”
Oh, brother. If their wedding is half as bad as their music, the guests will be running away screaming before she’s halfway down the aisle. That’s one Evite list I’d like to be left off, thanks.
April 11, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Poor Chad Kroeger. What a life he must have, right? He is, for better or worse, a pretty famous singer of a pretty famous band. He gets to live his dream, making music for a living, and he gets paid very well for it. But everybody hates his music. Well, not everybody, obviously, but most people are willing to admit that his music is kind of garbage. It must be bittersweet, you know?
And it’s probably a little more bitter when even your lady love, your soon-to-be wife, can’t stand your music:
The Canadian rocker – who once famously described himself as a “walking penis” to Playboy magazine – got engaged to Avril, 28, this summer after dating for several months and has vowed to resist his groupies.
Chad told Men’s Health magazine: “I don’t think my libido has changed. I just think that my Rolodex has been confiscated. And I’m OK with that.”
The 37-year-old musician also revealed fiancee Avril is not a fan of his music, and he is actually quite relieved, because he doesn’t want her to hear the racy lyrics to his songs.
Chad said: “If a naughty Nickelback song came on, my fiancee would probably ask who it was. She’d be like, ‘Who’s this? This is good. I like it.’
“I’m terrified that some day she’s going to listen to some of the things I’ve written, and I’m going to have some explaining to do.
“There’s going to be a whole question-and-answer period following that one.”
I think Chad is trying to play it cool here because he’s sort of embarrassed that Avril doesn’t like his music. I mean, come on. The bit about how if she heard one of his songs, she’d be like “who’s this? This is good. I like it,” please. It’s not like she wouldn’t recognize that voice, you know? And it’s not like it’s a common thing for people to love Nickelback music.
But here’s the really sad part: how awful must it feel to know that Avril Lavigne doesn’t like your music?