Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood’s Tahitian Honeymoon

Have any of you ever read Zane Grey’s The Reef Girl? It’s a great book. And when I found out that Carrie Underwood and her new husband, Mike Fisher, were honeymooning in Tahiti, The Reef Girl was one of the first things I thought of — that book, and “Holy fuck, Carrie Underwood got married? Already?”

The two were photographed in Tahiti late yesterday, sipping coconut-looking drinks and frolicking in the azure blue waves. I need a vacation. Like, stat.  And looking at these photos only heightens the yearning.

Anyway, congratulations to Carrie and Mike! I really think these crazy kids are gonna make it! And if not, then hell. I’ll have won the bet.  Just keep away from Faaone, Mike.  Keep away.

Carrie Underwood Doesn’t Eat Out

Well, maybe once in awhile she’ll cop to it, but on the regular, she kind of has a rule against it. She claims that there’s always so much to choose from after her shows and people are generally ravenous for whatever they can get their hands on, but not Carrie, no way. She’s more selective than that, which makes her one of the classiest ladies in Hollywood to date.

Yeah, all that and healthy, too.

Underwood claims that she maintains her figure by avoiding the post-show pig outs on pizza, fast food and other high-fat, high-carb meals that most of her staff and friends choose to gorge themselves with. Carrie states that she keeps a separate refrigerator stocked with “smart choices” and this, in itself, helps her maintain her fabulous figure.

Carrie states that she hardly ever dines out at cheap fast-food restaurants, but does admit to going to a restaurant on occasion:

“Every once in a while I have a day off and I might go to a restaurant — but no aftershow food and I keep my fridge stocked.”

Good for you, Carrie. You look great and it’s because you’re eating healthy and exercising. You’re not locked in your trailer’s tiny, dimly-lit bathroom with half your hand down your throat and you know what? I think that’s pretty damned likable.

Carrie Underwood’s One Classy Lady

And by “classy”, I mean she actually cares about people, doesn’t have photographs of her labia floating around and isn’t throwing jars of rancid urine at her fans.

An assistant of Underwood’s was killed this past weekend in a crash and at Miss Universe’s latest show, she dedicated her song, “Temporary Home” to the victim and his family.

There’s really nothing negative I can say about this chick surprisingly, which doesn’t necessarily make her disinteresting to me — it just makes her admirable.

My condolences go out to the driver’s family and hope that they, like Carrie’s aptly named tour, can eventually “Play On.”