Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Carrie Prejean

Shanna Moakler is Kind of Awesome

Shanna Moakler Punks Carrie Prejean

Shanna Moakler is funny. This weekend her arch nemesis, anti-gay marriage advocate and former Miss USA contestant, Carrie Prejean got married. Not wanting to stiff Carrie on her big day, Shanna ordered her a Waterford Crystal picture frame that she’d registered for… and put one of her “No on H8″ campaign photos in it. I can only imagine Carrie’s face when she opened the expensive but totally backhanded gift from her frenemy.

I think this is kind of the perfect prank. Plenty mean, but at the end of the day, both Carrie and Shanna know that photo won’t last more than a second in that expensive frame. It’s certainly a step up from pushing people down flights of stairs.

8 New Sex Tapes and 30 Nude Photos Surface, But One More Article About Carrie Prejean is One Too Many

Carrie Prejean

Ugh. I am so sick of writing about this bitch. I actually put her on a list of people I was NOT going to write about this weekend; a list which also included the Gosselins and the Lohans. But if I don’t write about this new stuff, some douchebag will come up in here all self-righteous talking about how I dropped the ball, and Evilbeet sucks now, and he’s not going to read it any more (except every day so he can comment about how much it sucks). So here you go. Tired of reading about her? Thank that douche.

Radaronline is reporting that a chuckwagon full of new sex tapes and nude Prejean photos have surfaced. All of the sex tapes are solo performances of Prejean dj’ing her own “private” party while the photos are mostly topless pictures she took in a mirror.

There, that’s it. This woman sucks, we all know she sucks, and I can’t think of very much she could do to warrant any further attention. If you can all come to a consensus,  I will promise you won’t ever see another article from me about Carrie Prejean, unless she actually dies on one of my weekends.

Carrie Prejean Should Maybe Not Be Doing Live Televised Interviews If She Doesn’t Want to Talk About Her Sex Tape

The always-accommodating Carrie Prejean staged perhaps the worst attempt at an interview walk-off I’ve ever seen last night on CNN. Larry King keeps asking her why she settled with the Miss California organization — she settled, of course, because they had a video of her masturbating. But she doesn’t want to talk about that, and, although Larry never directly poses a question about it, she claims he’s being “inappropriate” and gently removes her microphone. Then she just whispers off-stage to someone for a good thirty seconds on live national television while Larry has a panic attack and begs her forgiveness. It’s such total weak sauce. I mean, if you’re gonna walk out of an interview, Carrie, do it with some panache. If you had any gay friends, I bet they would have taught you how to make a dramatic exit.

I know you have a book to promote, but maybe stick to the pre-taped interviews if you want to be a whiny bitch about freakin’ everything.

Let’s Talk About Sex … Tapes

Carrie Prejean — yep, she’s still around — was on Sean Hannity’s show last night to talk about her solo sex tape.  I know the folks at the Miss California pageant are happy that tape exists (a tape of Carrie masturbating for her boyfriend at the time), because about 20 seconds after they showed it to Prejean she dropped her lawsuit.  Ah … the power of a masturbation tape … truly, the power of one.

Anyway, it’s clear that Sean Hannity totally backs up Prejean.  He wrote the forward for her book “Still Standing” and clearly does all he can to take the heat off of her during last night’s interview.

In the meantime, it looks like Jennifer Lopez could be talking about her sex tape soon.  The singer is suing her ex-husband (I know, I know.  Which one?)  Ojani Noa, also known as “The First in the Trilogy” for $10M for violating a 2004 confidentiality agreement that they both signed.  It seems that Noa is in possession of their honeymoon sex tape and is shopping around for a buyer.  The tape — it already has a title of How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J.Lo and Ojani Noa Story — shows a fight between J.Lo and her mother as well as J.Lo getting spanked.  Kinky girl!  Who knew?  Nobody, until now.

Carrie Prejean Settles With Pageant Execs

Carrie Prejean

I know you’ve all been laying awake nights waiting for this case to resolve — I know I’ve been tossing and turning every night and crying out “The boobies!  What will become of the boobies?” — and now it has.  Carrie Prejean and the Miss California pageant executives have been embroiled in legal battle for several months over Prejean’s termination from her Miss California post as well as reimbursement for the beauty queen’s enhanced rack.

The pageant claimed that Carrie refused to participate in appearances that were required of her and Carrie claimed that she was fired due to her religious beliefs.  You’ll remember that she caused a stir last spring during the Miss America pageant when she announced to the world that she thought marriage should only be defined as a union between a man and a woman.  In case you missed the memo, that’s a pretty unpopular viewpoint.

Here’s the good news:  The two sides have settled, though the terms were not disclosed.  I reckon that the pageant gave Carrie some sort of payout just to make her shut her mouth and go away.  In addition to a monetary gain, rumor has it that Prejean will have full custody of her implants and the pageant executives will be offered a liberal visitation schedule.

Miss California Pageant Officials Engage in Tit For Tat Battle

Carrie Prejean, Donald Trump

Carrie Prejean, fallen beauty queen, decided to sue the Miss California pageant as she felt she was unjustly fired even though she refused to appear at events that her job required her to attend.  Personally, I think “I don’t wanna” is a perfectly logical and acceptable excuse to not perform your job, though the courts may not see it the same way.

Well now the Miss California pageant officials are fighting back.  In a cross-complaint filed in response to Prejean’s suit, they are looking to be reimbursed the $5,200 they paid for Carrie’s breast augmentation.  Why did I think boobs cost a lot more than that?  Maybe the pageant gets some sort of frequent buyer discount.  Bargain basement boobs.

I bet Ms. Prejean is wishing that she just walked away gracefully with her free bolt-ons instead of opening up this battle that she’s sure to lose.

Carrie Prejean Confuses Religious Convictions and Work Ethic

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After lots of idle threats, she’s gone and done it.  Dethroned Miss California Carrie Prejean has filed suit against the pageant claiming that Shanna Moakler and others forced her out based on her religious convictions.

According to pageant officials, the reasons cited for Prejean’s termination had to do with her constant refusal to do any of the required work.  She would be asked to attend appearances, events, openings and would decline.

Prejean just filed the suit in L.A. County Superior Court, accusing Moakler and pageant honcho Keith Lewis of religious discrimination, defamation, public disclosure of private facts, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

Prejean was dethroned/fired from her post as Miss California USA back on June 10, nearly two months after she spoke out against gay marriage at the April 19th Miss USA competition. 

Prejean claims the Miss Cali people “conspired to get rid of her” beginning on April 21st — when she said on the “Today” show that she would rather be “biblically correct than politically correct.”

Reps for Miss California USA have previously explained that Carrie was fired for missing appearances she was supposed to make for the organization and for not getting clearance to do extracurricular activities. 

Donald Trump — who owns the Miss Universe Organization — is NOT named in the suit. 

But in her suit, Carrie says the Miss Cali USA people “fabricated a fraudulent list of some 50 public appearances allegedly missed by Prejean which they released to the media in order to justify her termination as Miss California USA.”

In the suit, Carrie claims officials also tried to “set up Prejean to have her dismissed as Miss California USA by asking her to do a Playboy photo shoot for $120,000.”

Geez, guys.  I just really want to apologize.  I thought we were done talking about Carrie until her to-be-expected appearance on some Grade C reality show.  I guess not.