Miley Cyrus appears to have posted a photo of her smoking a blunt on her Instagram account. “It’s probably just a cigarette,” you’re thinking. Yeah, same here, until you read her caption with the photo: “High as fvck.”
If she’s playing the ole parlor game, “What Will Make My Publicists’ Heads Explode?” this is definitely worth 20+ points. They’re probably getting used to this, since she really loves posting borderline inappropriate photos of herself on her Twitter account.
She’s not shy about her love of weed. Remember when that video went around of her smoking pot with her friends/bandmates? I think the guy who is lighting her bong is a friend of mine. We’re all really proud.
I used to work in retail and Miley would come into our store all the time. She was nice as hell, would buy everything, hand me her black AmEx and say in her scratchy drawl, “I don’t even want to know what it is, I’ll just sign it.” Atta girl. She was really into Day of the Dead stuff.
This fun video of Miley Cyrus behind the scenes at one of her shows has surfaced today. It starts off with her talking to the camera while checking herself out in the mirror. She asks us (the audience, of course), if we want to hear her crack her knuckles and before we can even answer, she does it. Her mother Tish, who is essentially a joke and just there to pick up her paycheck, immediately scolds her and swats her on the hand. Miley responds to this by telling her mom she’s going to call Child Protective Services. Then her mom slaps her on the butt and says she’ll keep disciplining Miley as long as she needs to. Miley responds to this by freak dancing with one of her dancers in the mirror and sloppily rapping about her love of singing. Seriously. Her mom hits her, and then she starts grinding her ass into some dude and rapping. It’s like a cartoon version of the Miley we imagine her to be.
The girl’s almost 18. Her disrespect isn’t really interesting anymore. She’s too old for me to be fascinated by how rude she is to her parents. At this point I just feel kind of sad for her. She’s almost an adult, it’s pretty pathetic that she still hasn’t learned what a turn-off her bossy attitude is to fans and spectators alike.
Did you guys see Miley’s performance on last night’s MMV Awards in Canada? No, I didn’t either, but I did check out a couple of recaps early this morning. And my favorite, by far, was Miley throwing caution to the wind and exposing her own vagina (is it still child pornography, Perez, if the “child” in question wears articles — or rather, non-articles — of clothing for the purpose of intentionally exposing genitals?).
Let’s do some math. Vulva measurement across: 2.3 inches. Fabric measurement for costume crotch-landing-strip: 1.5 inches. I mean really. Because, damn. Girl’s only seventeen, but seventeen doesn’t exempt you from basic math skills, for crying out loud. And also, the fact that I want to find out the name of her obviously-talented Brazilian waxer doesn’t detract at all from the creepiness that surrounds the fact that she’s totally bare.
If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and be uncomfortable, while making sure that all of my bustier bodysuits have ample crotch coverage. This shit just looks painful. And embarrassing.