Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Britney Spears

Britney Misses Louisiana; Thinks About Retiring

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Britney Spears is about to launch a 2-year residency at Planet Hollywood in Vegas, she’s got an E! documentary coming out, and a brand new album — yet she misses her pre-fame life and thinks about retiring. One of our Evil Beet readers recently commented something like, “Britney posts make me sad” and now I totally get what they mean. Here’s what Ms. Spears told E Online:

I have thought about it [retiring], but I think right now is my time to perform and doing what I’m doing. If I happen to have another baby or something like that, I’d probably move back to Louisiana. I do miss Louisiana. I miss the people. I miss the food. I miss the way of life, how everything is really simple. There’s no traffic like there is in L.A. It’s really nice.

“If I happen to have another baby”? That’s…really weird phrasing, Brit. It almost sounds like you a.) don’t know how babies are made or b.) are thinking about sabotaging your current career with a baby. I’m probably reading way too much into it, but you guys are right — she seems sad and it makes me sad.

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Britney Loves Sex, Y’All

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Britney Spears love sex! Wow, who knew? You know that E! documentary she’s doing? Well in it, she’s very frank about her opinions regarding sex. Here they are, via ABC News:

I love sex. I think sex is great. But I feel a little different about it now that I’m older. Sometimes I feel like I’m 20 and then sometimes I feel like I’m 50.

Call me crazy, but I actually think her last part was interesting. What do you think she means by “sometimes I feel like I’m 20 and then sometimes I feel like I’m 50″? We know that sometimes she runs. Sometimes she hides. Sometimes, she’s scared of you. But all she really wants is to hold you tight.

Sorry, I kind of went on a Britney lyric tangent there.

Oh, and I guess I should ask…would you do Britney, after all these years? Check this out and get back to us.

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Britney Spears Almost Broke Her Neck

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Oh dear! Britney Spears‘ Las Vegas residency hasn’t even begun yet and already things are getting a bit crazy. Apparently BritBrit was rehearsing recently and somehow managed to injure herself, nearly breaking her neck. The incident was covered in her upcoming E! documentary, I Am Britney Jean, in which she says the following:

“I just knew I had almost broke my neck. There was serious damage.”

If that sounds vague, well, that’s because it is. It’s all part of building the suspense and to try and get more people to tune in than have bought her album, which may be a feat. I suppose I’d be interested in seeing what all goes into preparing for one of these big shows. Either way, glad she’s doing okay – some of the stuff they do in those shows can be really dangerous and even the most careful people can get hurt because of it.

Will you be watching?

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Are You Ready For the Britney Spears Documentary?

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Britney Spears has a new documentary coming to E! next Sunday. I Am Britney Jean is a whopping two hours long and follows her prep for her Las Vegas residency with all the rehearsals and behind-the-scenes junk you’d expect to see. And now there’s a preview!

I really like Britney, so it pains me to say that I think her career as a mainstream, relevant pop act is slowly winding down. The new album is the worst selling of her career and ’90s nostalgia only extends so far. I just can’t see this continuing for much longer. Also, Vegas is kinda where artists go to chill when they’ve reached the pinnacle of their careers and just want to sorta take it easy. I dunno, I could be wrong – it’s been known to happen. I just feel like we’ve kinda seen the best of Britney.

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Britney Got Her Ass Kicked By Garth Brooks

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Britney Spears is having a tough time selling Britney Jean, y’all. According to Billboard, it’s her lowest debut ever, moving only 107,000. By comparison, her last album, Femme Fatale, moved 276,000. She landed at #4.

And guess who is in #1? Garth Freaking Brooks.

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Seriously, did we time travel? Garth kicked Britney’s ass, and is, according to Billboard, “is tied for the most No. 1 albums with the Rolling Stones and Barbra Streisand, with nine each. Ahead of them on the all-time most-No. 1s list are Elvis Presley and Bruce Springsteen (both with 10 No. 1s), Jay Z (13) and the Beatles (19).”

Guess we can’t expect a huge viewing for her docuseries. Let’s hope her massive Vegas residency fares a lot better or Britney Jean is Britney Flops. (Sorry, that wasn’t even a clever pun. I couldn’t think of something funny that started with “J”. Go for it!)

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Video: Britney Spears – ‘Perfume’

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It’s heeeere! Time for Britney Spears‘ video for ‘Perfume’. It’s an interesting one, guys – we’ve got BritBrit lying in a bed in lacy lingerie trying to look innocent, BritBrit cuddling up to a blonde hunk, BritBrit singing about wanting to “mark [her] territory” by putting her scent all over this man to take back to this other woman he’s with now that they’ve broken up… you get the hint.

This song is kind of a hot mess – basically Brit is the other woman and doesn’t seem to think this is a problem. And yet this is the song she personally relates to? What’s going on in this girl’s life? SMH.

What do you think of ‘Perfume’?

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Britney Wants A Girl So She Can Have A “Mini-Me”

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Britney Spears just turned 32 and seems to have it all, except for one important thing — a baby girl. She’s got 2 boys she loves dearly, but she wants her own “mini-me” and that’s something she thinks she can get from a baby girl. From InStyle via Huffington Post:

I would like to be busy the first couple of years, but then I would really like to have another baby, a girl. I think she would be like a mini-me. I think it’s going to be crazy. I’m not going to feel as alone in the world anymore. I’m going to feel like I have a second person, like, that’s me.

Wow. I don’t know, but that seems like a lot of pressure to put on a baby.

What do you guys think about Britney’s comments on wanting to have a baby girl?

(Also, doesn’t she kind of look like Hayden Panettiere on that cover? What’s up with that?)

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