5When Britney Dresses Herself …

A—Small island countries crack down the middle and radioactive emu emerge from the resulting orifice
B—The weave business gets ready for a boon
or;
C—People think she’s way crazy all over again and winter boots in mid-June do no part in deterring people from thinking that she’s way crazy all over again

The correct answer is C. Well, it’s B, too, but it’s mostly C.

This is what Britney wore this past week on an outing with her kids, and I don’t even know where to begin in horrendousness. Is this in her ‘X-Factor’ rider, too? I mean, everything else is. Is there some kind of caveat that specifies that Britney can not, in any way, shape or form, even participate in choosing her outfits for ‘X-Factor’ episodes, but is allowed to dress herself while blindfolded on her off-days? Or is this more to do with the pesky conservatorship thing that’s still happening? That the one? Did Jason Trawick accept responsibility for Britney as co-conservator in exchange for girlfriend’s personal fashion freedom? Because man. That is a sacrifice of love if I’ve ever heard one.

Note to Britney: it’s not 2002 anymore. And even then, that particular look right there was f-cking awful. Can we get someone on this, please?

June 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

16Britney Spears Almost Falls and WHAT IS THAT THING ON HER ANKLE

Yeah, yeah, right, Britney Spears was getting out of her car with some God-awful ugly wedges on and she almost bit the dust, but that’s not even what I want to talk about here. I want to talk about what’s going on with girlfriend’s ankle. I know a lot of you are going to see that picture up there and say, “Gosh, Sarah, it looks like a brush-burn or a patch of psoriasis, or at the very least, CARPET RASH,” but this is where I’m about to correct you. See, this mystery funk made its debut back in December of 2011. Want proof? You got it. Here:

See? Did you think for a second that I was kidding? Because I wasn’t. The two photos right there were taken in December. You know, as in six months ago. The photo at the top of this post was taken last night. Literally. last. night.

I don’t know what’s going on with those ankles, there, girl, but maybe you should start to seek medical attention for it. Whatever it is, it looks no better than it did last year, and I’d be a little bit concerned by now if I were you.

Click the photos to enlarge, if you dare.

June 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

3Britney’s Got ADHD and That’s Why She Keeps Skitzing Out on ‘X-Factor’

From Radar Online:

… RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned the real reason why the pop singer did so [walked off set so many times] — Brit has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and can’t take medication for it.

“Britney was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in her teens and used to take medication for it,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com exclusively. “The medication helped her deal with it, however, she can’t take it now because it interferes with the other medications she takes for her mental health issues. Britney’s current team of doctors strictly prohibit her from taking Adderall or Ritalin, which are commonly given to people with ADHD. Simon was made fully aware of Britney’s medical history before the contract was signed, so this certainly isn’t a big surprise that she needs to take breaks during the audition process. Look, Britney basically has the attention span of a 10-year-old at times. It’s not alarming to Simon at all and he is fully supportive of Britney doing whatever she needs to do during filming.”

“Britney’s medical team works with her to deal with her disorder without medication and daily vigorous exercise is what often works best for Britney. Her nutrition is closely monitored and so is her caffeine intake, because that can also enhance Britney’s inability to focus. Simon knew what he was dealing with before he ever signed her to join the show and it’s not shocking to him. Of course, it’s rather disconcerting for people that see her do it for the first time but it’s truly nothing to be alarmed at. In fact, Simon would have been surprised if she hadn’t taken breaks during judging last week, this means she is involved and engaged in the process,” the insider says.

Oh, good, I’m glad they’re monitoring her caffeine intake, even though she’s got those weekly 144 cans of soda that her rider requires, too. I’m sure that’s totally doing wonders for our girl’s mental status, you know? I mean, forget about her bladder, let’s just focus on one thing at a time here, OK?

Thing is, though, despite the above report says that Simon‘s totally confident of his judge choice in Britney, now he’s second-guessing himself. This, according to Us Weekly:

An insider says The X Factor creator Simon Cowell is already anxious about Spears’ unpredictable behavior. “He wonders if hiring her was a mistake,” a source tells Us Weekly.

I don’t know. I think it’s all being blown out of proportion, to be honest. I also think that these “sources” are really mis-timing their statements, too, because one report one day countering another report the very next isn’t really making the story gel all that well. No, what I think it is—after deep consideration—is that Britney is pop royalty, she’s been in a fragile state for awhile, and she’s feeling entitled (and probably rightfully so) to a little special treatment.

I don’t think it’s ADHD attacks (or, if it is, it’s as huge a deal as Radar’s making it out to be), and I don’t think it’s another mental meltdown coming on, I just think that we haven’t seen Britney do Britney in almost a decade, and that’s what’s “shocking” everyone here. We didn’t know girlfriend to begin with, and now it’s like meeting an entirely new person for the very first time. Why’s everybody all surprised that she might not be what they had idealized her as in their heads?

June 1, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah

2Britney Walked Off ‘X-Factor’ Again. No, Again, I Mean.

From Us Weekly:

X-Factor judge Britney Spears walked off the show’s set during auditions Friday afternoon–just one day after TMZ reported she stormed off “angrily” following a hopeful contestant’s cover of one of her hits.

“After a very popular contestant finished, Brit stood up and immediately walked towards the tunnel where judges enter,” a show source tells Us Weekly of the pop star’s dramatic exit Friday afternoon–adding that it wasn’t clear what spurred the departure. “Her bodyguards [and entourage] jumped up and ran after her. She was moving fast . . . It was odd.” (The witness adds that, after a little while, “she came back,” as though nothing unusual had happened.)

During Thursday’s auditions, the X-Factor source told Us Spears–who will reportedly see a $15 million payday for her stint on the show–seemed “uptight” compared to her fellow judges Simon Cowell, LA Reid and Demi Lovato. “Her body language was reserved,” the source shared.

So what’s the deal on this, then? Is she walking off and being all detached because of her prior mental states? Or does she figure she’s a big enough celebrity that she can do practically whatever she wants to, and no one can do or say shit about it? All I can keep thinking about is the story that we ran a few days ago, more or less highlighting the fact that Britney took the ‘X-Factor’ job with the caveat that she can come and go as she pleases, and there’s not a whole lot anyone can really do about it. If all that’s the case, it must be nice, you know? If not, it’s just another story in probably many to come, proving the notion that Britney just might not be ready for all of this quite yet.

Wonder how Demi feels about all this.

May 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

2Britney Spears’ Fiancé Shows His Creepiness to Us All

Jason Trawick, the lover and caretaker of Britney Spears, uploaded this video onto a website called Viddy. As you can see, it’s a message to Britney, telling her how proud he is of her for her new X Factor gig. It sounds kind of sweet, right? Nah, it’s really weird for a number of reasons.

Why are we even seeing this? Yes, it’s a sweet message, but wouldn’t it have been even sweeter if he had actually said this to her face? He said that “we just completed our first weekend in Austin on X Factor,” which, by the way, no, Jason, you didn’t complete anything on X Factor, and at the end of the video he said “now get back in here so we can go to sleep.” That makes it sounds like she’s just in the next room, right? Even if she wasn’t, even if they weren’t in the same state, he couldn’t make a phone call? This was a message that had to be posted online for everyone to see?

After all that Britney’s been through, you’d think that the people close to her would want to protect her, especially if she has so much anxiety over being in the public eye. If I were Britney’s man, I’d try to make things as private as possible. I’d have been like “look, baby, I ran a bubble bath for you because I know you’ve been working hard, and when you get done, I got all these rose petals to put on the bed, girl.” I’d have been like that during an actual conversation with her too, not on a video I posted online. Just to clear up any confusion.

And really, I don’t even want to see this. Look at his sleepy eyes, and listen to that tired voice. I never wanted to see Jason Trawick like this, and I’m sure no one else did either.

Meanwhile, Britney took the time to respond by sharing the link on her Facebook, along with an “Awww love you too Xoxo.” So maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

May 27, 2012 at 9:00 am by Emily

3Why Britney Walked Off ‘X-Factor’ (and Why Britney REALLY Walked Off ‘X-Factor’)

You guys heard that Britney did pretty … well, not so hot on her first night on ‘X-Factor’ earlier this morning … but you might not have heard the “reason” that she disappeared from the set for a few auditions, though.

From People:

The singer Tweeted: “#Britneywalksoff??? LOL was just taking a little break people. I am having the BEST time!!!”

And a source close to the show tells PEOPLE, “She was not upset. She just took a short break, which is not uncommon for judges to do in these taped shows.”

Another source on the production clarified Spears’s brief absence, telling PEOPLE, “The judges are allowed to get up at any point. The show isn’t so strictly structered as [American] Idol is. When Britney got up, she went to fix a small wardrobe issue and had a bathroom break.”

But according to sources on the set, that wasn’t the real reason. From TMZ:

Britney walked off the set yesterday during the first taping, leaving behind an empty judge’s chair while 4 contestants did their thing.

Sources connected with the production tell us Britney was “overwhelmed” and needed to leave. People who were at the taping tell us she was upset by the audience reacting negatively to some of her comments.

Fact is … “X Factor” wanted Britney so desperately, she was able to negotiate terms that are “unheard of” — so say people with direct knowledge of her deal. As one source put it, “Simon is a smart and shrewd businessman who knew Britney could make his show and he was willing to give her just about anything to come on board — and he did.”

Sad. And kind of scary. If this is the kind of behavior that’s to be expected for the upcoming season, I’m seriously fearing for Britney’s well-being. I mean, what’s it going to be like when it’s televised live, for the entire world to see? People crack under that kind of pressure, you know?

May 25, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah