Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Britney Spears

I Hear Britney Spears is Writing a Book

photo of britney spears pictures
From the Hollywood Reporter:

Britney Spears is close to signing a book deal, The Hollywood Reporter has learned, with plans to write a novel. Her rep confirms that It Books, an imprint of HarperCollins, which has released many popular musician memoirs (among them: autobiographies by Sammy Hagar, The Game, Slash and Motley Crue), is having “discussions” with the singer. (A rep for It would not confirm.)

A source tells THR Spears would pen a roman a clef for the publisher. The story would incorporate fictionalized versions of her own experiences, much like Lauren Conrad’s 2009 New York Times bestseller L.A. Candy, which was about a girl who moves to Los Angeles and becomes the star of a reality show. Conrad, who starred in The Hills, has written two more novels since.

No word yet on when a Spears book may be released, but with the singer appearing on a network TV show (and being paid handsomely for it — in the vicinity of $15 million) and having sold nearly 100 million albums worldwide in her career, the advance is likely to be substantial.

Oh, so it’s not exactly a memoir and not exactly fiction? Well that leaves a lot of room for interpretation, doesn’t it? I mean, can you imagine what kind of zany experiences Britney’s Britney’s handlers are going to write about? There’s going to be nothing of bathroom cocaine, creepy sex with men who have flavor savers, burns from Marlboro Light, or what it was like to bang Justin “Ramen Noodle-head” Timberlake back in the early noughts?

SIGN ME UP!

Lucky Magazine Had to Apologize for Their Britney Spears Cover

A photo of Britney Spears

Yeah, that’s fair. It’s not like this is the worst magazine cover I’ve ever seen, but I’m a firm believer in apologizing when you’ve done something wrong, and Lucky magazine did, in fact, do something wrong.

Look, this is Britney Spears. We all know her. We probably all know too much about her. And we definitely, definitely know what her hairline looks like. And this hot mess of a wig is just not it.

Here, check out another photo from the shoot:

A photo of Britney Spears

Oh, and here’s that vague apology, sent by Twitter:

“Thank you all for sharing your thoughts on our cover! As always, we will share with our team and we’re sorry to have let some of you down.”

Is it so much to ask for that magazines just take photos of people as they are? It is, isn’t it? But Britney’s been looking so good lately, and she has her own weave situation under control, and god that wig is just awful.

And just by the way, about the interview itself? Not that interesting. She gives a lot of generic quotes about her kids and about ignoring critics, which, you know, good for her, but still, not that interesting. She did give one quote that made me a little sad though. When she was asked about Jason Trawick and what made him different from all the other douchebags she’s been with, she said “He was sweet. He says he doesn’t mind that I sit around in sweats all the time.” Like that’s the greatest thing about him, that he’s not too upset that she doesn’t do full makeup and slip into a sexy dress every single day. That’s sad, right?

Love It or Leave It: Britney Spears Should Probably Always Have Bangs

photo of britney spears bangs hot pictures photos
Looking good, right? Best Britney‘s looked in years? Well. Maybe. The photo’s sort of from afar, and it’s slightly, slightly blurry, so we’ve got that going on, at least. Seriously, though, all jokes aside, Britney should probably always have bangs from here on out. They change her entire face, and I don’t mean because it hides a quarter of it.

Even when she was younger, and not so meth-addled (?), she looked way better in bangs. Take this picture for instance:

photo of britney spears bangs young pictures
Hot, right? Even when she was at her hottest, this was pretty hot.

Let’s go and compare it to this one:

photo of britney spears kevin federline hair pictures
Even though the photo is automatically bad because it’s got Kevin Federline in it, the bangs picture is still way better, to be fair. Let’s take another look at how much better all of these photos so far are way, way improved when you consider that this is what Britney’s hair used to look like:

photo of britney spears bad hair pictures
OK? I mean, really, is there any reason to continue debating this at all?

This is Definitely the Best Britney’s Looked in Years

photo of britney spears pictures photos
Yup. For certain, this is most definitely the best that Britney‘s looked in a really, really long time. Maybe there is something to that Britney-Justin reconciliation, huh?

This is what girlfriend wore to a recent salute to Whitney Houston that was held at the Nokia theater in Los Angeles, and her eyes, guys—her eyes are practically … normal. I think that speaks volumes, you know?

Someone also in attendance at the tribute? Jennifer Hudson. And if I’m not allowing the recent, alleged tiff between her and Jessica Simpson to color my opinion of her, then I can say this is what she wore and how I pretty much hate it:

photo of jennifer hudson pictures
You know that there’s something wrong when Britney Spears Post-2002 is outshining you. Get a better stylist, Jen. Or maybe just better clothes. Criminy.

Britney Spears Doesn’t Have Her Own Phone, Can’t Use the Internet without A Supervisor

A photo of Britney Spears

Ok, so how sick is Britney Spears? For real, let’s talk about this. She’s getting married, and she’s currently a judge on one of the biggest reality shows in the country. She’s doing big interviews, she’s spending time with her kids. But at the same time, “her cell phone and internet use is restricted and heavily monitored.” What’s that about?

But really, that’s what this story is about. Britney shares a phone with her fiancé, and it’s “routinely checked to see who has been calling.” Certain sites are blocked on her computer so she can’t see any “negative stories” that might upset her (I’m guessing gossip blogs and the like, but they could have every dark and scary corner of the internet blocked too, you never can tell). A lot of these restrictions have been set up so that the ultimate shademeister in Britney’s life, Sam Lufti, can’t contact her.

I don’t know, I just think that Britney should be a woman capable of making her own choices and taking control of her own life or she should just not. I don’t understand how she’s able to get married and work if she’s not allowed to have her own cell phone. It feels weird and creepy and exploitative. She shouldn’t be able to make money for everyone if she’s too ill to look at the internet. Is that fair to say?

Was Britney on Crystal Meth Back During Her Dark Days?

photo of sam lufti and britney spears pictures
From TMZ:

Sam Lutfi — the self-proclaimed manager of Britney Spears who is suing her for defamation — claims in new legal docs a drug-sniffing dog found a cache of crystal meth in her home.

The allegations were filed in connection with the upcoming trial. Lutfi claims Britney, along with her parents Lynn and Jamie — defamed him by saying he drugged the singer during her dark period.

In the docs, Lutfi talks about what he would want Britney to testify about. As of now, she will not take the stand because a judge has found she is not competent to testify as a result of the conservatorship.

Lutfi says in the docs Britney should testify about an incident in 2007 …. he claims he “brought drug-sniffing dogs into her home … and they found a cache of crystal methedrine, which was destroyed.”

Lutfi goes on … “Britney should further testify that drug dogs found ‘hot spots of drug residue in the carpeting, where her young sons [ages 1 and 3] played during visits.”

Lutfi says he covered it up by shampooing and eventually replacing the carpet.

Lutfi also claims Britney told him her dad Jamie “was a violent racist,” and an abusive alcoholic.

Is it reaching? Probably. Is it plausible, however? Absolutely. Don’t you remember the funk that Britney had all on her face during that Sam Lutfi-Adnan Ghalib business? Because it was all pretty rank. I’m not going to say that Britney had absolutely nothing to do with meth, but I’m also not going to say that she had absolutely everything to do with meth, either. Because there was probably some cocaine thrown in for good measure, too.