Cool! Looks like the old Britney Spears is back, right? Remember that big-ass laughing grin she’d get when she was, you know, legitimately happy? It appears that Britney’s got it on lockdown in that photo up there, huh? But wait. Just you wait. Don’t get excited too fast—the rest of the pictures aren’t all that impressive and are, in fact, actually kind of depressing. It’s like, with the above photo, we caught a rare glimpse of Britney in a happy little bubble, whereas the following photos catch her just moments after the bubble’s popped, stretching and groaning and doing all sorts of scary things with her shorts.

Like this one:

Cute little tummy, but bad, bad shorts. Wicked bad choice, girl.

And then you have this fancy little picture:

Oh hell no. No thank you. Return of the sick-bad shorts and some major what-the-f-ck hair? I’m almost heartbroken.

Then, of course, there’s this:

And this:

And in those photos, I’m not sure if she’s stretching, yawning, or about to tuck and roll off the porch in order to take a nice-sized bite out of the photographer taking her picture. Last, you have the photo where she’s actually getting ready to eat the baby she’s holding, because she apparently couldn’t get close enough to the cameraman to snack on out:

Oh Britney. Where have you gone, huh, girl?

Remember how Britney Spears went a little crazy a few years back and then everyone decided that it was best if her dad went ahead and took control of her finances and her life and everything? And remember how Britney’s soon-to-be husband, Jason Trawick, was supposed to be legally signed in as the other dude to be in charge of all that? Well, it happened. And it feels just as weird as we all thought it would.

From TMZ:

Britney Spears’ fiance Jason Trawick is officially the singer’s newest conservator — the judge in her conservatorship case just signed off on giving him legal power to govern Britney’s affairs.

TMZ broke the story … Britney’s dad and conservator Jamie Spearsfiled the petition earlier this month, asking the court to add Jason as a co-conservator. We’re told Britney also wanted Jason on board as co-conservator.

After the hearing, we overhead the lawyers say Jamie is “thrilled.”

The move makes total sense … considering the two are set to be married.

As co-conservator, Jason is now empowered to help decide how Britney will earn and spend her money — including the $15 million deal she’s about to sign with “X Factor.”

Gross.

Hey, let’s consider this, all right? What would you do if you met someone really awesome, and you were attracted to her, and she seemed super, but then you found out that she was in a bit of a rough place and her dad was basically in control of her: would that be a deal breaker? Or would you maybe stick it out while that person got her life back on track? You wouldn’t marry her, would you? I hope not, because that would be kind of creepy.

I think there’s a difference between being in a relationship with a healthy, stable adult who becomes mentally ill or somehow incapable of being trusted with her own finances and big decisions and all that and entering into a legal relationship with someone who legally isn’t allowed to make her own decisions. Do you know what I mean? I mean this whole thing really creeps me out, and if Britney won’t be able to go out and buy her own wedding dress or pay vendors all by herself, and if she needs her dad to legally approve her marriage, then maybe she shouldn’t be getting married.

But what do you think?

Did you guys know that Britney is the new face of Hasbro’s latest board game, ‘Twister Dance’? Because duh, of course she is. Twister Dance is a game that’s more or less Twister meets DDR, and instead of investing in a full-sized electronic video console that just isn’t the same because it’s not on the boardwalk of the Jersey Shore, it’s done in your own home. On a 2.5 square foot Twister mat. COOL.

Britney says about her new endorsement:

“Dancing has been such an important part of my life since I was a little girl. As soon as I saw the new Twister Dance game, I knew I wanted to be involved. I think kids will love rocking the spots and dancing to the music as much as my boys and I do. It’s a lot of fun!”

Girlfriend says that the video just wrapped, and she’s stoked to have been a part of it. And also, she says the video’s going to be “hot,” though I’m not really sure that’s what Hasbro was going for when they decided to market the game to 8-12 year-olds or whatever. Then again, this is Britney we’re talking about, folks. She’s random and shows up where you least expect her.

Like all of this X-Factor business. Random. Remember how we talked about Britney being considered for one of two available judge positions, and how she wanted this exorbitant amount of money, so execs were rumored to move onto the next best thing? Looks like Britney’s back in the game. From E!:

After weeks of heavy negotiating, Britney’s team has finally agreed to a $15 million fee for the role. “Both camps were back and forth on the money but now they have finally come to agreement on the fee,” says one insider with intimate knowledge of the pending deal. “That was the big sticking point and now, thankfully, it’s been sorted. All they need to do now is work out the smaller points. The fact the money is now set, means that there is nothing stopping this from becoming a reality.”

$15 million bucks. Jeez. The show originally offered her somewhere in the ballpark of $10 million, but Britney and her advisers shut that down pretty quick-like, saying that $20 million was more their speed, and after it looked like talks were dead on the table for a few weeks, this news comes out. I don’t know. Excessive money aside, I’d be pretty excited to see Britney on the X-Factor, wouldn’t you? It’d be like Paula Abdul to the ninth power. It’s entertainment in its purest form. It’s the only logical thing.

Hey, also, you guys going to run right out and buy TWISTER DANCE? EH?

You know who we haven’t seriously sat down and talked about in awhile? Britney Spears. Yup. I mean, yeah, we talked about how Evanna Lynch wants to play Britney in a biopic, and we watched that frankly horrifying video where Britney Spears was face-morphed like Lindsay Lohan, but there hasn’t been a whole lot of earth-shattering Britney news since she got engaged to Jason Trawick, and that was back in December of ’11.

The latest news, however, is not that Britney‘s conservatorship is ending, because it’s not. Lots of people were saying, “Yeah, Britney’s got it all together again and 2012 is the year that Britney’s going to be able to take real control back over her life and everything that happens in it,” but guys, they were wrong. They were actually so wrong. Not only is her conservatorship not ending, the court system is adding soon-to-be-husband Jason Trawick to a list of conservators. Which now means that Britney’s not got one conservator, she’s got two. Her dad still remains in primary control, but when she marries Jason Trawick, presumably later in the year, he’ll be her “co-conservator.”

From TMZ:

Sources tell us … Brit’s conservators will be filing a petition later today to add Jason as a co-conservator … a move that makes total sense considering the two are all set to be married some time in the near future.

We’re told Brit’s dad Jamie Spears — who is already one of the conservators — is “thrilled” about the move.

Oh dear. Why do I feel so icky about this? Is it because she’s got not one, but two male overseers in her life that control, and will continue to control, every aspect of her life, probably right down to what she’s “allowed” to eat on the regular? Where she’s allowed to go, who she’s allowed to talk to, what clothes she’s allowed to wear? I realize that Britney’s still not the picture of perfect mental health, but come on. Wow. And is it not kind of creepy that her husband will be one of these controllers? It almost makes you wonder if this has been her dad’s aim right from the beginning, making sure his daughter settles down with a guy that’s OK with managing her life and f-cking her on the regular.

Dunno, guys. The whole thing is really, really weird to me, but I guess that’s par for the course in poor Britney’s life, huh?

Aww, you guys, look, it’s Evanna Lynch! You know Evanna, she’s the wonderful, adorable actress who played Luna Lovegood in those movies. You remember! We haven’t ever talked about her over here on Evil Beet, but just know that she’s awesome, all right? She was a hardcore Harry Potter fangirl before she was ever even cast in the movies: she had a cat named Crookshanks, she read fan fiction, and she wrote letters to J.K. Rowling. She was even involved in a little scandal when she trash talked Twilight, advising Bella to “get over it. She’s always talking about how beautiful Edward is. Get over it.” You guys, she’s one of us.

So what has Evanna been up to since the Harry Potter movies came to an end? Well, she does a whole lot of charity work, and according to IMDB, she’s going to be in a television show called Sinbad, which sounds promising. Oh, and also she’s been talking about how she would absolutely love to play the role of Britney Spears in a Britney Spears biopic:

Evanna Lynch would love to play Britney Spears in a biopic about her life.

The ‘Harry Potter’ actress – who played the role of Luna Lovegood in the movie franchise – admits she is keen to get her teeth into a gritty part and thinks the pop star, who famously suffered a very public breakdown in 2008, would be the perfect role.

Evanna exclusively told BANG Showbiz: “People laugh when I say this but I would love to play Britney Spears in a movie. She’s complicated and I just relate to her. There are so many pop stars out there at the moment and I just think they’ve just got their image thing so planned to a T. Say, Lady Gaga, I like her and I like her music but I don’t relate to her because she has this image and she’s weird and perfect, whereas Britney is rich and cool and beautiful, but has also shown her vulnerable side and had a breakdown in front of the whole world.

“That takes strength and bravery to do that. I just think she’s more complicated than people think. Also, I think career wise it would be a big departure from Luna. And I love dance!”

However it is not the only character the 20-year-old beauty would be keen to play – she also would have loved a part in ‘The Hunger Games’.

She added: “Dream roles? I love fantasy series’, I would love a role in ‘The Hunger Games’. I love the books, but I don’t know who I would play or where I would fit. Jennifer Lawrence really carries that film. She’s amazing to watch.”

Ok, how do we get this to happen? Do we need to write letters? Start a petition? What? We need to get this together, guys. Let’s not let Luna down on this one.

Remember we talked about how much Britney was charging for tour tickets last year? Apparently she thinks she’s still completely worth it, even though her tour was a veritable bomb, because sources close to the X-Factor are saying that unless the execs offer Britney more than a measly ten-million-dollar contract, she’s taking her talent and walking from the negotiations table.

Britney is allegedly asking for somewhere around twenty million, and is pretty firm on the amount. The sickest thing yet? Paula Abdul, though she’s been a staple on this kind of scene for awhile now, only made $2.3 million for last year’s X-Factor stint. And Britney supposedly thinks she’s worth ten times more than a lady that’s been doing this shit for years? Good heavens.

Don’t worry, though, guys. I know there’s going to be some of you flipping the f-ck out if you can’t get your Britney fix, and those same people will be positively crushed if this X-Factor thing doesn’t pan out, but you’ve got another chance to see Britney do it up Britney-style and lip sync her songs to rabid audiences. According to sources, if the series’ executives don’t give her what she wants, Britney’s other option is to become a resident performer in Las Vegas at some hotel, and the same sources are saying that the idea is pretty appealing to Britney herself, too.

My oh my, how the mighty have fallen.