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Britney Spears

5Heather(ette)s

Heatherette gets no love. The hipster fashion line debuted its new line at NYC Fashion Week on Tuesday, sans a model and a high-profile guest. Paris Hilton — a longtime friend of the designer duo — was slated to walk the runway, and Britney Spears had front row seats. Paris canceled at the last minute, citing a stomach ache, but Radar provides a little more insight. Paris was spotted doing shots of tequila at Butter with Brandon Davis until 3:30 in the morning, at which point she puked and went home for some, uh, beauty sleep.

Britney Spears was also a no-show. The Daily News sheds some light on this one: “Ten minutes before the show started, they got a call that Britney was in the parking area outside,” says a backstage source. “They went out with a Heatherette sweatshirt [Ed: As opposed to, you know, the kind of sweatshirt with which they wouldn't be able to plug their line to the Daily News.] to throw over her head, but there was no Britney. She got to the parking lot and bailed.” Why the about-face? Apparently Britney hadn’t heard that Paris called in sick. She got cold feet about running into Hilton, as their BFF-ship has cooled … well … about as quickly as anyone expected, with Paris now referring to Brit as “The Animal,” and not in a nice way, either. Sigh. Break-ups are so rough.

Who wins in a battle like this? Well, Heatherette, obviously. Britney and Paris garnered more publicity for the show by both not attending than they would have if they’d been there. Paris has been buddies with the Heatherette duo for awhile, so I can’t help but wonder if this was all planned from the start. But I guess I can’t rule out the possibility that Paris and Britney are just grossly irresponsible and operating with the same level of maturity as the girl who sometimes threw pebbles at me in middle school.

February 8, 2007 at 11:11 am by Evil Beet

1Well, Somebody’s Wrong Here

Gawker draws our attention to this Page Six article on Britney Spears.

SHE’S here for Fashion Week, but Britney Spears (left last night with baby Sean Preston) could use some fashion tips. The pop tart was spotted in the bathroom of the Carlyle Hotel on Friday about 11 p.m., primping with friends in front of the mirror. Our spy overheard Spears complain, “Y’all, I feel old! I’m 24, y’all. I feel old.” She was wearing “a red tank minidress, no bra, and huge platform shoes” and had “nappy hair extensions.” Spears asked our tipsters, “What should we do in New York? This place [the Carlyle] feels old.” Informed that the hotel is a local institution, Spears opted to party at Tenjune instead.

Britney Spears is, of course, 25 years old, as of this past December. So either Page Six is wrong, or Britney Spears doesn’t know how old she is or — and probably most likely — Britney Spears is lying about her age in public bathrooms, as if everyone in the goddamn first world doesn’t know how old she actually is.

February 7, 2007 at 1:46 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

3Britney Spears: Gay, High and Single!

I know what you’re thinking: there’s no way Britney Spears could be into chicks. Just like there was no way Britney Spears would expose the paparazzi to three separate shots of her bare nether regions over the course of a single week. Nothing surprises me from this girl. The new issue of In Touch is reporting that Brit-Brit’s had a taste for the ladies since well before her split with K-Fed. In fact, they even got someone — Omar Sharif, a rap producer and friend of K-Fed’s — to go on the record with this story! “Britney was into threesomes and girls,” he’s quoted as saying. Another “insider” says Britney would often disappear into bedrooms with her girlfriends while she was married to Kevin. “Sometimes it was three girls, and sometimes there were more like six. I heard about her being with girls at least 20 times while they were married.”

Britney will have plenty of time to focus on her girlfriends now, as OK! magazine is reporting that she got dumped by Isaac Cohen. A friend of Isaac said he’s been “looking to get out of the relationship for a while.” What? They’ve only been dating like a month. At exactly what point did he decide he wanted out? Probably around the time she started puking on him in front of cameras. “It was a bit much for him,” continues this friend. “There was a lot of drama – it was too much of a whirlwind. It wasn’t one thing in particular.” So, Isaac Cohen will make a semi-graceful exit from his fifteen minutes of fame and go back to utter irrelevance, until his tell-all comes out early next year. And Britney is free to focus on spending time with friends however she sees fit, and diligently insuring that her career and her future have been thoroughly destroyed via the abuse of ecstasy and cocaine and the poor, innocent color pink.

February 7, 2007 at 10:09 am by Evil Beet

5It’s Illegal Drugs Day on The Beet!

Hey, remember how the last time was we named a day around here, it was Britney Spears Day — and, later that afternoon, she filed for divorce? That was awesome.

So, between Timberlake’s admission that he was stoned out of his goddamn gourd for, you know, most of 2003, La Lohan’s illustrious return to the club scene, and this new tipster account from Perez Hilton, I think it oughtta be Illegal Drugs Day around here. T, Lars, you have your marching orders.

Check out the new dirt:

“Now, I’m not one for snitching and I am aware that many celebs indulge in the act I witnessed and am about to share with you, but I feel like this is too good to keep to myself. And I think your readers might find it quite juicy as well. My friend and I were at Tenjune in Manhattan this weekend. While in the bathroom, we were talking about something random and a few times I would throw in an “omygod.” I get a tad “valley girl” while intoxicated. Over my shoulder, I heard some chick making fun of my animated conversation to her friends: “Oooomygod. Like ohmygod.” As my friend and I turned in unison to verbally and/or physically beat down this broad for making fun of us for no reason, we stopped and stared. It was my girl Britney Spears. Someone who has NO RIGHT to be making fun of ANYONE right now. Shes the biggest joke out there. And I was one of the few people still pulling for this chick. Anyway, due to the total shock we were in, we failed to say anything before she and her friends popped into one bathroom stall, feet facing the wall and SNORTED away. It was so ridiculously obvious what she was doing. I was so mad I waited for her for a good 20 minutes outside the bathroom to confront her, but she was in there FOREVER and I realized she wasnt worth my time. But I have thrown in the towel for being on Team Britney. Shes a trashy chick, with no class… making fun of people who for all she knows PULL for her and want to see her do well and PAY MONEY on her cds and concert tix, while she has the BALLS to blatantly blow it up her nose. Do with this what you will… like I said I know a lot of people do it. I just know you love your gossip and I figured I would share.”

February 5, 2007 at 11:19 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

1Late-Night Links

I love it. Farrah Fawcett gets cured of cancer, so we get to care about Ryan O’Neal for all of five minutes, during which he manages to get arrested in a physical altercation with his son, who has managed to knock up a girl who is literally half his age. You cannot make this stuff up. [Tabloid Whore]

Britney Spears: still dumber than you. [Celebrity Smack]

I don’t know how Bam Margera has stayed out of prison this long, but his uncle wasn’t so lucky. Because, see, Bam’s never been so good with, like, knowing where to draw the line, but he’s at least peripherally aware that it exists somewhere between a 12-year-old girl and her breast. [Ninja Dude]

Check out the Hannibal Rising trailer. [Film.com]

Important things I learned this weekend: The Colts are from Indianapolis. The Bears are from Chicago. So can we be done talking about football for awhile now? [Agent Bedhead]

Paris Hilton wins the latest battle in her quest to shut down ParisExposed.com keep her name in the headlines. [Hollywood Backwash]

Liz Hurley even manages to make her nip slip look classy. [Celeb Slam]

February 5, 2007 at 12:58 am by Evil Beet

4Five Minutes in the Bathroom with Britney

Life must be so strange for Britney Spears. In this video, she’s taking a road trip to Vegas, and has to stop several times for potty breaks. I hear ya, Britney! I have to stop like every 10 miles to pee when I do road trips, too. And there’s always the typical hassle of waiting in line and/or trying to find the bathroom key, etc, but how strange must it be to have several camera crews following you while you do this? But that’s exactly what happens to Britney. This is seriously a 5-minute video of Britney stopping at different places to pee. Throughout it all, though, she’s upbeat and friendly with the photogs. It’s actually a kind of cute video. But, really, Brit, why not fly next time?
February 1, 2007 at 2:55 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears