1Menage a Trois!

Paris and Lindsay can never stay mad at each other, and it seems now Britney Spears has been drawn into this love/hate relationship. It wasn’t too long ago that Lindsay Lohan was caught on camera calling Paris Hilton a cunt. On Wednesday night, Lindsay pulled up to Hollywood hotspot Teddy’s — where Britney and Paris were partying inside — with Kevin Federline’s CD blasting in her car, and announced that she thought K-Fed was sexy and might be interested in “hooking up with him.” (Britney was overheard later saying “Tell her please, seriously, take him!”) Then, on Sunday, L2 told paparazzi that Paris Hilton had hit her with a drink at a party on Saturday night (watch the video).

The natural conclusion to all this is, of course, the three girls partying together on Sunday night, and leaving in the same car. In the video, Paris is asked about the drink-pouring incident, and she directs the paparazzi to Lohan herself, who is walking up behind them. “Lindsay, tell them the truth!” she says. “Paris never hit me,” says Lohan, “she’s my friend. Everyone lies about everything…she never did that, she’s a good girl, she’s a nice person. Please, stop trying to make us hate each other.” (Um, Lindsay, stop talking trash about her on video.) As she gets into the car with Britney and Paris, a photog actually says “Oh, this is classic.”

I should note that, in the 18,000 videos of Paris and Britney leaving clubs together this week, Britney almost never says a thing. She is clearly way too busy being ridiculously drunk, holding onto Paris, a publicist, and/or a car to maintain her balance most of the time. As she stumbles into the car in the last video, and the photogs try to take up-skirt shots, Paris admonishes them, “Guys, don’t be pervs.” (They got the shot anyway).

Oh, man, I cannot wait until Paris and Britney get into a huge fight. Maybe Britney will sleep with Stavros. Or Paris will sleep with K-Fed (although the former Mr. Spears is rumored to already have a new woman). Or Britney will become BFF with Shanna Moakler (whom, claims Travis Barker, has always been jealous of Paris). The possibilities are endless! Stay tuned!

November 27, 2006 at 11:09 pm by Evil Beet

7Britney Spears Crotch Shot: Coming Soon?

According to the NY Daily News:

Spears was snapped with Hilton on Friday night leaving West Hollywood’s Hyde nightclub in a white T-shirt and black mini-skirt (both very Hilton-esque) as well as a pair of Paris’ trademark oversize sunglasses.

While maneuvering out of the cab in the black mini, Spears managed to flash her goods to the throng of paparazzi – and there was an awful lot to see.

I have a feeling the pictures are here, but I can’t get the page to load. Will keep you posted…

The point this really drives home for me is just that Paris Hilton is (still) a goddamn publicity genius. Britney Spears is going through one of the most high-profile divorces of the decade? Be her best friend. Get her trashed. Make sure she doesn’t wear underwear. Be with her when crotch shot is snapped. Just brilliant.

Update: Wow, that wasn’t even the worst of it. The world premiere of Britney Spears’ labia, here.

Update 11/29: Oops, she did it again.

November 26, 2006 at 8:45 pm by Evil Beet

116The Britney Spears Crotch Shot!!!!

Jump inside for the uncensored pics.

(more…)

November 25, 2006 at 1:50 pm by Evil Beet

1K-Fed Offered a Job!

Perhaps Mr. Britney Spears won’t have to resort to selling sex tapes after all. While his soon-to-be ex-wife traverses the country on Paris Hilton’s coattails, Kevin Federline has reportedly been offered nearly $300,000 to appear on the U.K.’s Celebrity Big Brother.

According to an insider, “Kevin is hugely entertaining because he takes himself really seriously – even though no one else does. He’ll be great for the show because it’s all about larger-than-life characters.” Although Federline’s “real” fans should not be counted out — X17 snuck cameras into his recent House of Blues show, and caught Kevin leading an (unironically) cheering crowd in a chorus of — if I’m hearing this right — “Fuck K-Fed.” I’m not sure I completely understand the context, but about halfway through the film someone holds a Long Island iced tea up in the air, and that’s really all the explanation I need.

November 24, 2006 at 6:56 pm by Evil Beet

0Jimmy Kimmel’s K-Fed Haterade

Check out Kimmel’s mucho funny Federline-drowning monologue at last night’s AMAs.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO6mhwcYC8E]

November 22, 2006 at 7:50 pm by Evil Beet

1Late-Night Links

Britney Spears and K-Fed briefly reunite to jointly issue one last depressing statement: they did not make a sex tape. [Agent Bedhead]

Somehow — somehow — Wesley Snipes has managed to compare his tax evasion indictment to rape and accuse the federal government of racism in a single well-advised statement sent via email to a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel. [E! Online]

I still haven’t figured out who this Katie “Jordan” Price person is, but she’s selling her implants on eBay. [Hollyscoop]

Will Smith homeschools his kids, because he knows everything. [Junkiness]

Kristin Cavallari has found someone even less famous than Brody Jenner to date, her Revenge of the Nerds “co-star,” Nick Zano. [Superficial Girls]

November 22, 2006 at 5:49 am by Evil Beet