Geez, ya know, when I was a little kid and my dad wanted to spend some quality time with me, he’d, like, toss me into the car and let me eat chicken wings at Hooters while he watched the game with his buddies.
Takes his sons to the Venice Film Festival.
It’s clear that I was not loved as a child.
* Question: Should we start calling him Brad Jolie-Pitt? I think yes.
Brad Pitt and Zahara do ridiculously adorable things in the south of France.
Will these people adopt me?
I know everybody says that, but I mean it! I love my parents, but I want Brad Pitt to carry me like that.
“Mate, I’ve been living with that other bloke’s name for years, it doesn’t worry me at all … I’ve always been Brad. Let him change his name.”
Australian Olympic boxer, Brad Pitt, when asked if he’d considered changing his name so as not to be confused with the American actor.
Brad Pitt will take a run at a medal in Beijing in the heavyweight division.
It’s here! It’s here!
I finally tracked down the Special! Double! Issue! of People magazine, with Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt, along with the rest of the clan.
How freakishly adorable is this whole clan? Even Pax is turning into a hottie. I swear, Angelina has a sixth sense for choosing babies who will grow up to be stunningly gorgeous.
All the shots from the mag are after the jump.
I hadn’t thought about this before.
Fox News reports that the money Hello! and People magazines paid for the Knox and Vivi pics — between $10 and $15M, depending on whom you believe — will actually go directly to charity. Not first to Brad and Angie, and then to charity, but directly to the Jolie Pitt Foundation.
This means that the money is actually a tax write-off for these magazines.
Which means that, after you consider the tax implications, what they really paid for the pics is considerably less.
I’m just saying.
Okay, so People.com is fucking up BIG TIME by not having the pics on their website when they said they would, but at least Hello magazine — who got the British rights to the pics — have a pic up on theirs.
So … meet Knox and Vivienne!
I cannot remember the last time I bought an issue of People magazine when I wasn’t about to board a flight. I will, however, be rushing to my local newsstand on Monday to purchase a copy of the magazine, which will reportedly contain thirty pages of photos of the new Brangelina babies.
Some initial photos will be on People’s website on Sunday, at 7 pm EST, but goddammit I want to thumb through all thirty pages. I want to see those fucking twins in every pose imaginable. And for $14M (the reported price), they sure as shit better have photos of those babies playing with puppies. Like, really little puppies. I am calling the Better Business Bureau if there are no puppies in this spread.
Oh and you wanna know what’s extra exciting, guys???
I bought a printer/fax machine a couple weeks ago, and it turns out that the damn thing has a scanner! I learned that when my friend was staying with me earlier in the week, and I slept in until 10 am, and when I woke up she was sitting at my computer in the living room and I was like “What are you doing?” and she was like “Oh just scanning in a few documents that I need,” and I was like, “How?” and she was like, “Um, using the scanner sitting right here?” So I have a scanner! So you know what? I’m gonna scan ALL THIRTY PAGES OF THIS SHIT for you guys. And then I’m going to get a cease and desist from expensive lawyers and then I’m going to take it down. So save them to your computer while you can. Remember: check here on Monday!!!