I feel a little confident with this blind item, you guys. I know, usually I’m real bad at these, but this one is about Saturday Night Live, and I know me some Saturday Night Live. Ready? Here’s our item:
Which closeted former “SNL” star is getting a bad reputation at spas and gyms around Hollywood for his illegal sexual activities? The once-married actor has been caught pleasuring himself in front of other male patrons, and it’s just a matter of time before he’s publicly exposed!
Chris Kattan, right? It’s got to be him – remember that time he married his girlfriend and they got separated eight weeks later? Homosexual tendencies, everybody. I’m pretty sure it’s hard to make it through a hetero marriage when you have those.
Some people are also saying Eddie Murphy: he was married twice, but the second one wasn’t legal. I’m not so sure about this one. He has children with four different ladies (one of which is a Spice Girl), which seems a little off for a gay dude, right?
Any other guesses, friends?
July 29, 2011 at 4:30 am by Emily
Today has been a super downer: the universe has once again grown frowzy, it seems.
So let us self-medicate with Celebrity Gossip’s shallowest-working salve, the “Blind Item.” (I’m totally a doctor! Like, a smut pharmacist! A philanthropist, even! You’re welcome.)
Below are four Blind Items, prescribed to soothe.
These sibling stars that started out as child actors are so jealous to compete with one another for roles that their relationship is completely ruined. One is getting more parts than the other and that has been the cause of the rift. The one that isn’t as successful is developing a drug problem. Very sad.
I just got the giggles picturing Tia and Tamera Mowry, though: “God, Tia! Why do you always have to be right about everything!!” *shoots up* (OK, I wrote that last night; it’s less funny today. Frowzy.)
July 23, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Jenn
This isn’t a conventional Blind Item at all—in fact, it’s an anonymously-written email, published by an advice columnist. Who could the email be referencing, though?
In the letter, a down-on-her-luck gal claims that back in high school she went steady with a now-successful “recording artist”:
Things were going well between us until his career picked up toward the end of our senior year. He transformed from a level-headed, compassionate guy into someone shallow and self-absorbed. When he broke off our relationship, his words were, “I can’t see you fitting into this kind of lifestyle and the crowd I’m now going to be rolling with.” I was pregnant at the time (I never told him) but ended up miscarrying.
So that happened, and they never spoke again. She never went to college, which she regrets, and she blames both the guy and her own broken heart. Now, years later, the singer’s representatives have contacted the woman because OH MY GOD SHE HAS NUDIE PICS OF HIM. They’re begging her to get rid of the photos. And the photos are still on the old computer in her mother’s basement!
So, she concludes her letter to the advice columnist, should she sell naked photographs of her famous ex to the tabloids?
Signed, “A Woman Scorned.”
July 16, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Jenn
I am so ready to just jump into this and roll around in it and rejoice in the glory of this blind item, so let’s hop to it, shall we?
This Country Singer, known for dating just about everyone in Hollywood has started to develop a bad habit. As in, the white stuff. She picked up the habit when she was dating another musician and is now hooked. If our source is correct, her late night partying is going to catch up to her…. soon.
It’s Taylor Swift, right? Can you see it? She’s definitely dated a good few Hollywood dudes, and she does seem a bit too wholesome. Suspiciously so, almost. Or maybe I’m just reaching because, ok, it’s not like I WANT Taylor Swift to be addicted to cocaine, it’s just that it would be so deliciously bizarre to have little TayTay reveal such a dark side.
July 6, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Who broke up a marriage? Which pop tart is getting back into acting? And whose scar is penance for his cheating ways? None of the answers are inside, because it’s time for More! Blind!! Items!!!
Put on your Thinking Gloves and talk to me in the comments downstairs.
Here’s an especially juicy scandal:
What Oscar-winning actor is already being blasted as a deadbeat dad BEFORE his baby’s even born?! The brooding actor hasn’t ponied up for his baby mama’s prenatal care because he’s been too busy romancing a hot new gal!
June 30, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Jenn
Do you have a serious Case of the Mondays? I’ve got the cure!
So put on your filthmongering caps and fire up your collective imagination! Here comes a fresh crop of Blind Items!
The National Enquirer asks:
Which iconic sci-fi sex symbol with a history of bad relationships has gone lesbian? The once red-hot actress’s life is usually an open book, so it’s no wonder she’s telling friends that she’s ready to come out!
Tee hee. I have my suspicions, but I’ll leave it in the comments with the rest of your guesses.
Isn’t this fun, you guys? Two more Celebrity Blinds are hidden after the jump!