We all know this tragic tale: some young girl starts out with a truly lovely face, she goes to Hollywood, gets praise for her face, a few years go by, and she ends up absolutely destroying her good looks in an effort to preserve them. It’s sad, it is, but it happens everyday. And that little story is the basis for today’s blind item:
Which perky All-American actress has had so much cosmetic surgery that producers on her comeback film added a clause in her contract that she can’t get nipped or tucked until after the movie’s release? She’s desperate to make her way back to the A-list, but movie execs fear when the film comes out no one will recognize her on the big screen.
Oh, Meg. Lay off the Botox and the Mellencock, and then maybe the world will be ready for another magical romcom. Do it for the fans!
Any other guesses?
September 18, 2011 at 2:00 pm by Emily
There is a rumor going around that they are ring-shopping and getting engaged. No. While she may be looking at rings, he is not. These tales of ring-shopping and wedding-planning are pure gossip supplied by her publicist to make people think that their client is every man’s dream girl. She sure is… if your dream girl would never sleep with you. You see, she is a lesbian. A very pretty lesbian, but a lesbian nonetheless. Always has been. He was her beard. Even though they are still friendly (cordial would probably be more accurate ) he still agrees to be seen with her occasionally to keep tongues wagging. It’s over, and he has moved on to another hot actress… who really does sleep with him.
Ok, you might remember that I don’t care for Biel, but think about it. Remember that time that Justin called her the “most special person” he’s ever known and that he didn’t want to talk about the break-up because “I have to protect things that are dear to me – for instance, her”? She’s his BFF, you guys! That’s why you always see them doing bro stuff like riding bikes and jogging and looking not-so-in love. Oh, and remember this ensemble? Throw in all the rumors of Justin and Mila hooking up, and I believe I’ve just thoroughly convinced myself, at least.
What about you?
September 17, 2011 at 8:30 am by Emily
This A list movie actress who got her start way back in the day on television and then did some more along the way, let it slip the other day that she and her always a B list (for one role in particular) movie actor husband have not had sex in almost five years. It is kind of ironic if you think about it.
See, this would explain why Sarah seemed so crazy with David Letterman the other night, and also why she flipped out with that security guard tried to give her a friendly little kiss: it had been so long since she’d received any sort of physical affection that she just couldn’t grasp what was happening. And these two have had rumored marital struggles for years, and it seems like this would be a pretty good reason for it.
DID I GET IT?!
September 9, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
I don’t know if you could tell, but I’ve really hit my stride with these blind items. So far, I’ve uncovered Lea Michele‘s close relationship with cocaine, I’ve revealed to the world that Anne Hathaway‘s boyfriend is worshipping Satan, and I’ve warned you that Chris Kattan is fond of showcasing his junk in gyms. I’ve done a lot of good so far, right? Well, here’s my latest deed, because I’m about to expose a leg humper.
This still barely hanging on to A list comic actor who is supposedly a devoted family man has been accused several times recently on his movies for acting inappropriately with female co-stars. They say that in the guise of being funny he will often rub his peen against women and does this with or without pants and the whole time does it in public and while laughing. He says he is just joking around but it seems to only be done when there are attractive women around and he never does it to a name actress only to those with lesser parts.
August 20, 2011 at 4:00 pm by Emily
Man, I don’t know what it is, but I sure do love blind items featuring cocaine! Not only that, but I love talking trash about Lea Michele, and with this particular blind item, I get to do both! Are you not so excited for me?!
Which Glee actress who does not think she has a coke problem is out of control with her coke problem. It will be interesting to see if she can make it through the season without rehab.
Lea. Lea Lea Lea. Name me one other actress from Glee, and if you can actually do that, then name one whose bad attitude and bitch face can be at least partially explained by cocaine. Can you do it? All right, then I’m going to go ahead and christen Lea “Cokey von Crackstein, Dutchess of Methstonia.” Can you dig it?
August 7, 2011 at 9:00 am by Emily
I’m getting more comfortable with this blind item business. I feel pretty confident that I got that last one right, and if I didn’t get this one here right, then at least I know it’s not for lack of trying. Are you ready? Ok, here it is:
This girl-next-door actress better hold on tight to her rosary beads because her new beau’s buddies are into sex rituals, witchcraft and devil worship! The star has been trying to kick her goody-two-shoes image for years, but she has no idea about this guy’s dark side.
Anne Hathaway, right? She’s one of the first people that comes to mind with the “girl-next-door” and “goody-two-shoes” descriptors, and she’s definitely been trying to shed that image. Plus I’m pretty confident that the rosary beads bit is a clue, and Anne is/was Catholic, and I know that because I spent a good half hour researching Catholic celebrities, and when I saw her name I remembered that time that she broke up with the Church after her brother came out. Also, her boyfriend could totally be into sex rituals and witchcraft, maybe that’s what happened to her nipples.
Any other guesses?