Really, Beyonce? This is how you’re going to choose to do things? You and your man are one of the highest earning couples out there, and all you could afford was a bunch of grease and some ice cubes? Did you just get a friend to edit all this nonsense together as well? Come on, girl, at least last time you looked pretty and there was a huge awful wedding dress to look at.

I expected more, I really did. What about you guys?

I don’t know about you guys, but these lists always intrigue the crap out of me. These celebrity “power couples,” as they’re often referred to, bring in, like, unbelievable wads of cash annually. Jaw-dropping amounts.

I mean, this kind of money is money that I can’t even fathom having, and the craziest part is that there are people out there – both single and partnered up – who earn, like, quadruple this.

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady topped the list this year, bringing in just around $76 million bucks. And that’s just the reported income. You can’t tell me that there isn’t some under-the-table stuff going on somewhere there.

The rest of the list is as follows:

2. Jay-Z and Beyonce – $72 million

3. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – $50 million

Jump in for the rest of the list –

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I’d almost given up on Beyonce. I’d almost thrown my hands up in the air and said “girl, you’re beautiful, I respect you, but oh my god, I just can’t listen to your music anymore.” That was right after her last music video, and when I saw that she’d released a new one for her latest single, “Best Thing I Never Had,” I was way concerned that it would be the final straw, but I actually love it.

Look at her sweet bridal lingerie! And her gaudy, tacky wedding dress! And the way she sings lines like “you showed your ass and I saw the real you” and “bet it sucks to be you right now” while looking so classy and flawless! I sincerely love it. What about you guys?

Well, then you best get your ass over to Glastonbury, because the word is that Beyonce will be joined onstage tonight by those lovely ladies, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, to recreate one of the most magical musical trios of all time!  I know, I’m looking into airline tickets too!

Before we all get our hopes up too high, let’s get grounded a little by reading the actual story:

A story in today’s Daily Mirror claims Michelle, 30, first suggested the idea that the girls get together and now it seems all three will at least spend some time together at the festival.

An insider claimed: “Beyoncé was over the moon and sorted them out with Access All Area passes and accommodation. From there, plans developed and the idea of a brief on-stage Sunday evening reunion was mooted. It’s still very much up in the air as no one wants Bey to feel she’s being upstaged. One idea is for the two girls to join her on stage towards the end of her set for a medley of their hits. But whatever happens, the three girls are getting back together at Glasto and planning on having an absolute ball.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I am just so thankful for this.  Sure, Beyonce has been crazy successful since the Destiny’s Child days, but her solo music? I’m sorry, and maybe it’s just my inner 13-year-old rocking out in my soul, but “Halo” doesn’t hold a candle to something like “Emotion”, or even “Jumpin’, Jumpin’.” So yes, I would be absolutely ecstatic over a Destiny’s Child reunion.  What about you guys?

You guys know Diane Warren – she’s written some of the best pop songs ever – and you definitely know Beyonce.  In a most magical collaboration, Diane wrote a song that Beyonce recorded for her new album, and if Diane has anything to say about it, it’s going to be one good ass song:

“I just wrote something a week and a half ago that Beyoncé recorded and I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. She sang it amazingly. I think it’s a career song and probably my favorite thing I’ve ever written … right now.”

Ok, listen.  Diane’s written songs like “I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing,” “Rhythm of the Night,” and “Un-Break My Heart.” If this new song she wrote for Beyonce is “the best thing” she’s ever written, then the world needs to watch the fuck out, because things are about to get real on the music scene.  When Beyonce’s new album comes out on June 28th, don’t be surprised if there’s an epidemic of bleeding ears and uncontrollable sobs, because there’s no doubt in my mind that this song will be off the charts beautiful.  Diane Warren wrote “If I Could Turn Back Time,” all right?  This is no joke.

Let me open up with my views on Beyonce as an artist, so maybe you can get a better feel of where I’m coming from. Much like Southern Comfort and applying glitter to strangers, I feel that Beyonce is only truly appropriate at the gay bar. That’s not saying I’ve never listened to “Halo” alone at home and cried or that I don’t demand that one of my exceptionally talented friends do the “Single Ladies” dance every single time I see him, it just means that she’s not my jam, all right, and that’s ok. But then, last night, several of my more fabulous friends couldn’t stop posting this here music video, “Run the World,” on Facebook, along with comments like “the queen has slayed!” and “I love my wife!”  But you guys, I don’t get it.

I know she’s an amazing dancer and I know she’s really attractive, but is this song/video really all that phenomenal? Can one of you school me in Beyonce here?