5Round One: Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Wife Vs. Randy Quaid

You can run to Canada, Randy and Evi Quaid, and you can hide, but—I’m sorry, I can’t even talk about this with a straight face.

Apparently, Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife, Beth Chapman, is hunting the Quaids.

I mean, I think she is, at least. In the open letter Beth Chapman posted to her blog yesterday, she threatens that, the instant the Quaids return to the U.S., she and Dog will be there, ready to scoop them up and collect the reward. “You are a fugitive!” she writes. “YOU’RE FREE GAME! And we’re gonna get ya no matter where you go no matter how long it takes.”

But Chapman’s letter suddenly turns sympathetic. “We are reaching out to you, Randy,” she writes. “If you want our help now’s the time to ask.”

“Let us help you negotiate your surrender,” she concludes. Well, that’s very nice of her.

The entire letter, chronicled here for posterity, after the jump.

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September 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Jenn