Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Ben Affleck

Kristen Stewart Does the Stupidest Interview Ever, Also Gets Dropped by Ben Affleck

photo of kristen stewart pictures
Oh man. How awful. From an interview with the Huffington Post:

What’s your guiltiest pleasure?
Hmm. I take these things very seriously. Whenever anyone’s like, “Oh, we’re just gonna do a fun quick-fire-question thing.” My guiltiest pleasure? Shit. God. Dude, what’s yours?

Oh, God, I probably wouldn’t want to say, now that I think about it.

Have you ever stolen anything?
Actually, no. I stole a pack of gum when I was younger and literally turned right around and gave it back. And he was such an asshole to me. I was like, “I should have just walked. I am being a good person.” And he literally chastised me for 15 minutes. I was like, “Why did I even give this back to him?”

If failure weren’t an option, what’s one thing you would do?
Oh, god. God. That is too — dude, these are not quick-fire questions. They’re heavy questions.

What shows are on your DVR?
I actually don’t watch TV.

Do you ever text in the movie theater?
Um, I don’t typically sit in a movie theater.

If you could ask Kim Kardashian one question, what would it be?
Um, wow. I have no idea.

Did she learn all of that “um” and “wow” and “God” in thespian school? Because she just had to have learned it in thespian school, because it’s so ingrained in her psyche. I think that when Kristen Stewart dies, we should probably engrave on her headstone, “Um, wow, God,” because it’d probably be, like, so fitting.

In recent Kristen news, that movie that she was supposed to do with Ben Affleck? This big “comedy” that’s supposed to be her crossover role into major, non-’Twilight’, non-tween films? According to Variety, Ben Affleck has gone and bailed, citing reasons like “no time” and “bad co-stars.” I’m kidding about the co-star part, but the lack of time, Ben claims, is the main reason he’s no longer going to be affiliated with the production.

The film is called ‘Focus’, and Ben’s former character is labeled “veteran grifter” who becomes romantically involved with an up-and-coming con-artist, which is where Kristen comes into play. Sources say that there was to be a variety of passionate scenes, including a post-sex shot in bed. Ick.

Maybe Jennifer Garner was worried about Ben’s wandering eye. Kristen is a pretty girl, after all, and you know how she likes those in more senior of positions. In, ahem, different positions.

Ben Affleck Did an Entire Interview About J. Lo

photo of ben affleck gq interview pictures magazine photo
Before I even try to discuss this interview with you (which, to be honest, is pretty self-explanatory if you simply read the headline, as it’s basically all about Ben Affleck‘s relationship with Jennifer Lopez, or, you know, The High Point of Ben Affleck’s Career), I have to ask you something: is it me (and it very well could be; I made my Thanksgiving grocery shopping list a few minutes ago and my eyes are still all f-cked up and agog at how long the bitch is) or does Ben Affleck kind of look like what Fred Flintstone would look like if a) Fred Flintstone were a person and b) Fred Flintstone were twenty pounds thinner than Fred Flintstone normally is? Because I look at the photo above, in particular, and all I can think is FRED FLINTSTONE FRED FLINTSTONE FRED FLINTSTONE. And it’s kind of crazy, to be honest. FLINTSTONES. MEET THE FLINTSTONES. Damn. Sorry about that.

Anyway, here’s the part that you probably care about, because it’s the reason you skimmed through all of the Flintstones nonsense (THEY’RE THE MODERN STONE-AGE FAMILY) to get to this point.

Here’s Ben Affleck, to GQ, on how people hated him when he dated J. Lo:

“At the time, I knew on some level, ‘This is insane,’ What was that guy’s name who killed his wife and dumped her off the side of a boat? Peterson. I remember thinking he actually gets slightly better treatment than I do in the press. At least they had to say ‘alleged killer.’ Unfortunately there’s an aspect of that that’s like one of those fights you see on YouTube where one of them falls down and then a bunch of people who were standing around come over and kick the person. They don’t know them, they have no involvement in the fight, but they recognize a moment that they can get a free shot in, and for some people it’s just too much to resist. And that was definitely me at that point. I was the guy. I was the designated person to loathe.”

Yawn. Yes, everybody hated Ben Affleck just because he was sleeping with Jennifer Lopez. I’m sure it totally had nothing to do with the smug smarminess emanating from Ben that Ben himself was oblivious to.

Moving on—Ben comparing Jennifer Lopez and her massive fame to test-driving a luxury car:

“There were ways I did contribute to it, still kind of naively. Like these car dealerships would often say, ‘Hey, do you want to drive around a car? Go take it as long as you like. You can drive this Rolls-Royce for nothing, for free.’ The Boston kid in me thought, ‘This is great! What a deal! I can just drive this car around. Let my friends drive it.’ But then this image of a young guy in a Rolls-Royce was very off-putting to people. Probably be off-putting to me now if I saw it. And I didn’t quite have the wherewithal to be smart about that at the time.”

“Let my friends drive it”? I sure hope he’s kidding about that bit.

And last, how Ben Affleck recovered from the beating he took from the public after test-driving the very sleek, very hot luxury car that ultimately ended up with a younger, hipper driver who’s an undeniably better dancer:

“I think I just ran away. You can only handle so much. I moved for a while to this place in Georgia that I have, was able to get away, by and large, from stuff. Come up with a plan for how to do something with my life that doesn’t put me in the crosshairs of this sort of thing.”

So. Who out of you *still* dislikes Ben Affleck for his smug, smarmy disposition? Because I know that I’m still part of that club, and it didn’t even take a relationship with Jennifer Lopez to put me there.

Thank Goodness, Just When I Thought Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Were Going to be Over For Real, They Went and Got Pregnant Instead

photo of ben affleck and jennifer garner pictures happy smiling photos pics

No, but seriously: good for them, I suppose. I know I hate on Ben Affleck a lot, and that’s because he strikes me as a bargain basement discount power tool with an inflated me-complex, and I think Jennifer Garner‘s way too sweet and patient for him, but hey. It’s not my marriage, and it’s apparent that these two get along in some sort of way, because girlfriend just keeps popping out little girls and they ain’t divorced yet.

Either way, nothing can get me down today – I painted my living room a very zen green yesterday and Lowe’s is on its way today to install my new carpet, so I suppose I’m seeing everything through rose-colored glasses. Even if we did happen to find out that these guys were having a baby now because Jennifer Lopez is ten different kinds of single, I’m sure I’d find a way to put a positive spin on that, too.

Congratulations on the pregnancy, guys, and I hope this little darling is as sweet and adorable as your other two!

Love It, Leave It, or LOL at It: Ben Affleck’s New Hair

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Is this a clever ploy at trying to reinvent himself now that his ex-girlfriend, Jennifer Lopez, is back on the market? Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective) for Jennifer Garner, no. Ben‘s latest look is for a new CIA movie that he’s co-starring in with John Goodman, Alan Arkin, and Bryan Cranston. Probably, anyway. It’s the only way I can actually explain someone like Ben Affleck intentionally doing something this heinous to his hair.

You Just Don’t Even Know How Much I Want This to Be True

photo of jennifer lopez and mom pictures recent hot pics

Sources close to Jennifer Lopez‘s ma are saying that she – Jennifer Lopez’s ma, ffs – reached out to an ex-boyfriend of J. Lo herself to help intervene in what’s now being painted as a Very Bad Marriage.

The ex in question? Oh yes. It’d be BEN AFFLECK. DUN DUN DUN.

Sources claim:

“Guadalupe reached out to Ben over email. She wanted advice for Jennifer. She always liked and trusted him. Ben replied back on email, wished her well and offered what he could. Shortly thereafter Lopez and her husband Marc Anthony announced their divorce. It was a very bad marriage, and Jennifer got the courage to end things. [Marc] was a terrible husband.”

So, do think this has even a shred of truth to it? I’m not really sure if I buy it, but I’m going to do what I do best and run with it. I mean, a Bennifer reunion? Could this whole thing get crazier than that? I somehow don’t think so.

Oh Snap! Why Does Ben Affleck Have a Black Eye and What Does It Have To Do With Blake Lively?

Picture of Ben Affleck with a Black Eye

Ben Affleck was photographed out in Los Angeles with his wifey yesterday and yo! People are immediately jumping to the conclusion that the mark is a result of the Blake Lively nudes being released.

People have been saying for awhile that there’s a chance Ben and Blake got their swerve on while filming The Town, and now that those nudes are floating around everywhere and Blake’s totally sporting the same fake tatts in them that she did in the movie, it makes even more sense. Yeah, her rep claims the photos are fake, but a lot of reps are fake, too. If you asked me, I’d say those pictures are the real deal.

Here’s what I wanna know: Did Jennifer Garner lay that thing on him? Because if so, that is tight! I knew she used to do a lot of her own stunts back in her Alias days, but punching her man in the eye for boning the town floozy while he was on location? That’s gangster.

Caption This: Can Someone Please Explain to Me What Ben Affleck’s Deal Is?

photo of ben affleck with his family pictures

And use small words, because after seeing this photo of Ben – acting like this on an ice cream outing with his family – I’m kind of fried out on being all intellectual and analytical this morning. The only things cycling in my brain right now are nappy beards, little penises, and Boston accents.

I know that this guy is a total asshat and makes no bones about being perceived as a complete toolkit in public (though I still totally would have shagged him ten years ago), but adding ‘being an embarrassment to in front of his family‘ to the growing list of acting a fool?

God, dude. Jen must be so proud.