Well, not exactly. We all know Bam Margera is an ass, but did you know he totaled a rental car in Iceland and then basically said “Fuck it!” and refused to pay for it? He rented a Toyota Land Cruiser from a Hertz last year and took it back all mangled and then left without so much as an apology. That’s why, when he headed back to the country this week, he was arrested as soon as he hit Keflavik International Airport. HAHA!
So we haven’t talked about stupid Bam Margera, really, since his stupid friend died in a stupid alcohol-related car accident*, but this time, surprisingly, we’re talking about stupid Bam Margera because he’s … oh, right. That’s right. STUPID. Here’s the latest photos that Bam’s Tweeted, and when the backlash happened, he defended himself by saying that his Twitter followers “know” his stupid ‘Jackass’ humor, and that should make it all OK. Ready yourself. Here’s the first:
Can I say how stupid this guy is? And ugh, that mug of his. He’s so gross that he makes me want to punch myself in the face for even demeaning myself by talking about him and his stupid, gross antics. Do I just maybe not “get” the ‘Jackass’ humor? I’m going to go ahead and say, “No, I absolutely do not.” And guys, I don’t necessarily think that’s one of my worse personality traits. I guess it’s just par for the course with these guys, and things like this are just not OK in my book.
Here’s another one, just to piss you off further:
*Also, say what you want about me being “insensitive” or whatever about Ryan Dunn’s whole drinking and getting inebriated to the point of being more than twice over the legal alcohol limit, and then driving his vehicle at rates of more than 140 mph, putting everyone else on the road at risk and ultimately killing himself and his passenger, but I’m sorry, but I just can’t find it in my cold, dead heart to say, “Aww, poor, poor Ryan,” when the act was so stupid and selfish. It was a sad occurrence, but what do you *expect* to happen when you drink and drive to such limits?
Anyway. End rant on Ryan Dunn, since he’s been dead for over a year already.
I know, the video quality is real shitty, but this is such a lovely story I couldn’t resist. See, on Saturday a concert was held at Bam’s bar in Pennsylvania, a tribute for Ryan Dunn and his passenger, Zachary Hartwell. The bands were all close friends of Bam and Ryan – one of them was a friend from high school, one was Bam’s uncle – so it was a nice, close little event. From reading about it and from seeing these shady little videos, it seems like a very fitting tribute. And the best part? All the money they raised, which turned out to be over $20,000, went straight to Zachary Hartwell’s widow.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m still a little sad over Ryan Dunn’s death. Is that absolutely ridiculous? The other night I went to pull out my Jackass DVDs, and then I remembered that if I watched them I would probably just be reduced to a sobbing, messy heap on the floor. And hey, I have things to do.
Let’s just remind ourselves that Ryan probably would have loved Bam’s rendition of Lil Wayne‘s tunes and carry on. There’s too much loveliness in the world to be stuck in sadness, am I right?
I am increasingly heartbroken about the death of Ryan Dunn. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Of course, with each new detail about the precise circumstances of his fatal car wreck—which also killed his passenger, Zach Hartwell—it can be harder and harder for some of us to sympathize, especially for those who have lost a loved one to somebody else’s senselessness. That’s real; those angry feelings are valid.
What astonishes Margera even more was that this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.
“He flipped me in a car eight times at the same exact spot in 1996. Thank God I had my seat belt on, because Chris Raab put one on me, but my brother didn’t have one on. He flew 40 feet. Thank God he’s alive. But like, Dunn was always a maniac at driving,” he said.
Bam pulled out his cell phone and read aloud the last conversation he had with Dunn via text messages.
“Stopping for a beer, be there when I can,” was the last message sent from Dunn the night his accident occurred.
This exchange didn’t make it into E!’s transcript of the interview, but it’s in the video:
Interviewer: If there was a way to go back to the morning of that night, what would you say to Ryan?
So Bam has been on tour with his brother’s band, CKY (who you should maybe check out), and things were going fine until they got to New Zealand. When they tried to head to the next concert in Australia, Bam wasn’t allowed on the plane because he was causing too much of a ruckus and the airline staff decided that he was too drunk to fly. However, that may not be the whole truth.
“I was totally boozed one night and remember waking up with this chick on top of me going “I love you, I love’ and I was like ‘who the fuck are you!?”
I might think that this is just a story to make up for a night of drunken shenanigans, but Bam would totally own up to that. He would say he was completely wasted and make no apologies, because that’s kind of what he does. So you go out and live your life, Bam, and remember to never leave your drink unattended in the future.
TMZ had a chat with Bam about the whole assault by baseball bat thing, and he shed some light on what caused the incident. Apparently the woman who hit him “lives connected” to his bar, and this isn’t the first time she’s taken issue with him. As Bam says,
“She calls the police nonstop. She’s punched me in the face, filed a police report. And then she’s threatened to kill me twice, filed two police reports. She threatened to kill Missy, my wife, for no reason, and then she threatened to burn the place down and then she hit me over the head with a baseball bat.”
After she did that last part, Bam says she called the police and told them that he was hit by a car, but when he regained consciousness, he set that straight real quick.
As for his condition, he says he was “internally bleeding in the brain for two days,” and he has several staples that seem to be holding his scalp together. He left the hospital to fly to L.A. so he could film the opener to Jackass 3, which was supposed to be each cast member being punched in the face and filmed in slow motion. Way to fuck up some plans, crazy woman. And, you know, I guess for almost killing someone as well.
Despite being hit on the head with a baseball bat Friday night, Bam is already out of the hospital and at home. I guess when you get into everything that Bam does, you bounce back more easily than other people. According to Steve-O, fellow Jackass star, he was in intensive care overnight, but he thinks “he’s gonna be ok.” There’s still no word yet on what caused the fight in the first place.
You can look at pictures of Bam being attended to by EMTs here if you’re into that sort of thing, or you can watch Bam and his friends parody some Real Housewives. Hint: go ahead and watch the parody, it’s pretty lovely.