Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne Doesn’t Even Like Nickelback

A photo of Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger

Poor Chad Kroeger. What a life he must have, right? He is, for better or worse, a pretty famous singer of a pretty famous band. He gets to live his dream, making music for a living, and he gets paid very well for it. But everybody hates his music. Well, not everybody, obviously, but most people are willing to admit that his music is kind of garbage. It must be bittersweet, you know?

And it’s probably a little more bitter when even your lady love, your soon-to-be wife, can’t stand your music:

The Canadian rocker – who once famously described himself as a “walking penis” to Playboy magazine – got engaged to Avril, 28, this summer after dating for several months and has vowed to resist his groupies.

Chad told Men’s Health magazine: “I don’t think my libido has changed. I just think that my Rolodex has been confiscated. And I’m OK with that.”

The 37-year-old musician also revealed fiancee Avril is not a fan of his music, and he is actually quite relieved, because he doesn’t want her to hear the racy lyrics to his songs.

Chad said: “If a naughty Nickelback song came on, my fiancee would probably ask who it was. She’d be like, ‘Who’s this? This is good. I like it.’

“I’m terrified that some day she’s going to listen to some of the things I’ve written, and I’m going to have some explaining to do.

“There’s going to be a whole question-and-answer period following that one.”

I think Chad is trying to play it cool here because he’s sort of embarrassed that Avril doesn’t like his music. I mean, come on. The bit about how if she heard one of his songs, she’d be like “who’s this? This is good. I like it,” please. It’s not like she wouldn’t recognize that voice, you know? And it’s not like it’s a common thing for people to love Nickelback music.

But here’s the really sad part: how awful must it feel to know that Avril Lavigne doesn’t like your music?

Chad Kroeger Does Not Think That Avril Lavigne’s Ex Is Cute

A photo of Deryck Whibley

Do you see that hilarity going on up there? That’s Deryck Whibley, lead singer of Sum 41 and Avril Lavigne‘s ex-husband, and his girlfriend, all dressed up for Halloween. They’re dressed as Avril and Avril’s soon-to-be husband, Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. And that’s wonderful.

Really, it’s maybe a little catty and weird for them to do this. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it, and it’s definitely my favorite celebrity Halloween costume thus far, but for Avril, it’s got to be a little awkward. And for Avril’s man, it’s just simply uncool.

Here’s what Chad tweeted in retaliation:

Total burn! Except not really, because the guy from Nickelback just called the guy from Sum 41 irrelevant. I think that’s going to open up a whole can of worms that Chad wasn’t expecting, because instead of thinking he is funny and chivalrous, I’m just laughing about how silly and lame Nickelback is.

We can talk about how much these costumes rock in the comments, but for now, I have a very serious question:

Who's the bigger douchebag?
View Results

This is Avril Lavigne’s Weird Engagement Photo

photo of avril lavigne and chad kroeger pictures
And you’re probably wondering, “Why, Sarah, why is it weird that two people could have found love and wanted to make it official by getting engaged?” and then I would answer, “Because it’s the f-cking dude from Nickelback, and it’s Avril Lavigne. And it was very abrupt. And that makes it weird.” And that answer would have to suffice, because I have no other.

Anyway, this is Avril Lavigne‘s zillion-carat diamond engagement ring, which, if you can see detail, is pear-shaped with two crescent moon-like things on either side. And it’s kind of pretty, considering it was purchased with ‘Photograph’ money.

Here’s the official rundown of just how happy the two are together, from Canada’s Hello! magazine:

This week’s issue of Hello! Canada magazine, due out Thursday, has an exclusive interview with the newly announced Canadian music power duo in which Kroeger says: “I feel like the luckiest person alive.”

He also reveals he used a scrapbook to pop the question to Lavigne as the pair worked together on her upcoming fifth studio album in Los Angeles.

“It happened in their recording studio. She was scrapbooking and he added a page to the scrapbook, and the page said: ‘Will you marry me?”‘ Alison Eastwood, editor-in-chief of Hello! Canada, said Wednesday in a telephone interview.

Lavigne, 27, and Kroeger, 37, shocked music fans and media outlets Tuesday when they announced their engagement after a six-month courtship that flew under the radar of most pop-culture enthusiasts.

Hello! Canada was among those who didn’t previously know of their romance and was “quite surprised” when the couple approached them within the last week to share their story and engagement photographs, said Eastwood.

“I think we can safely call them Canada’s new super couple. Between them they have sold, I think, something like 18 million albums, so they’re quite a powerhouse.”

You can read more about how they’re making “beautiful music” together here. And that’s weird. Just … weird. And it definitely lends credence to the whole ‘Photograph’ allusion above—wouldn’t it be so Chad Kroeger to be scrapbooking with “photographs,” incorporating a “will you marry me” page? Because just watch this video, OK? Just once:

OMG I LOL EVERYTIME.

Avril Lavigne and The Guy from Nickelback Are Engaged

A photo of Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger

From People:

Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger’s relationship has been so quiet that few even knew they were dating. Now, after a six-month courtship, the Canadian rockers are engaged to be married, Lavigne’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Lavigne, 27, and Kroeger, 37, first got together in February to co-write a song for Lavigne’s upcoming fifth studio album.

“A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together,” a Lavigne pal tells PEOPLE.

On Aug. 8, Kroeger popped the question, presenting Lavigne with a 14-carat diamond sparkler.

“He makes her so happy,” a family source tells PEOPLE. “Both of their families could not be more excited.”

It will be Kroeger’s first trip down the aisle, and the second marriage for Lavigne, who split from Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley in 2009. She had also dated Brody Jenner.

If Avril and Chad here are happy together, them I’m happy for them. I wish them all the best in their marriage. But they wrote music together? Really? That terrifies me. This is the girl that screeched out a song called “Sk8er Boi” and the guy who growls out stupid lyrics like “what the hell is on Joey’s head?” Can the world take their combined powers of horrible, terrible music?

Is Avril Lavigne Dating This Chick?

photo of avril lavigne lesbian pictures
Well, maybe. She did strike out with both Deryck Whibley and that bag of dicks, Brody Jenner, so maybe she’s gone and decided that she’d do better batting (or catching, or whatever) for the other team.

These photos are of Avril Lavigne and some friends in Cabo San Lucas, where water-frolicking, beer-drinking, and general revelry happened, because DUH, Sk8er Boi. It’s about time that Avril got back out into the world, too, because she and that Jenner asshat broke up back in January, and there’s hardly been word of her since then. Seriously, the last time we talked about Avril here was back in … well, in June, but that was only because there was this weird relationship rumor going ’round that she was hooking up with Marilyn Manson (false, thank God), but prior to that, we’d only spoken about her two or three times, and it was just to mock her hair and her music. Like normal.

Whatever. All I can say is that whoever this girl is, Avril would be better off hooking up with her. She’s oodles better-looking than Deryck Whibley, and probably a hell of a lot classier than Brody f-cking Jenner. I say go for it, if you haven’t yet already, Avril.

New Couple Alert: Avril Lavigne and Marilyn Manson?

A photo of Avril Lavigne and Marilyn Manson

Today has been such a huge day for love, hasn’t it? We’ve heard about how our dear Adele is cooking up a little bundle of love in her uterus, and we’ve heard about how love was torn apart by Tom Cruise and his crazy ol’ head. But now we’re hearing about how, somewhere else, love is just starting to bloom. Between Avril Lavigne and Marilyn Manson.

From Star via Celebitchy:

Oh my Goth! Avril Lavigne, 27, and Marilyn Manson, 43, platonic friends for years, are suddenly romantic now that they’re both single. “Avril has been in Paris and Marilyn is on a European tour, so whenever he has a break, he files back to Paris to be with her,” says a source. “They’ve been hooking up and then Skyping when they aren’t together. It’s not really serious yet, but they’ve definitely got a little love connection going on.”

Yeah, this is from Star, so there’s a solid chance it’s total bullshit. But it’s gossip, you guys. A few days ago I hung out with my boyfriend’s four-year-old niece and listened to her while she told me all about how the lady from across the street’s daughter tried to break into her car at Walmart. Was it true? I don’t know, maybe. Was it fun? Yes, of course it was. So loosen up and let the tabloids into your heart already.

But right, Avril Lavigne and Marilyn Manson. Yikes. And you know, poor Taylor Momsen. She was supposed to be the one to win Marilyn Manson’s heart, not Avril. Ugh, the world is so unfair sometimes.

Love It or Leave It: Avril Lavigne is Still Trying for That Hardcore Thing

photo of avril lavigne pictures
… Either that or she’s trying to channel her inner drunkard, which isn’t all that hard because I hear she floats rather close to the surface of both Avril‘s physical being and psyche. I mean, honestly. Does girlfriend not look absolutely tanked in these photos??

Also, get ready for it—I’m about to say something nice about Avril. It doesn’t happen very often, if it’s ever even happened in the history of this site. From me. Are you prepared? Here goes: I think Avril would actually look … well, quite pretty if she decided to buzz the rest of her head, because the way no hair would contrast against and enhance her cheekbones would, I think, be rather striking, if I have to speak honestly about it.

Anyway, this is Avril’s new look, and I have to say, it’s gads better than the way Ke$ha tried to pull it off on her birthday. Ke$ha’s look was alright, I guess, but there’s just something about the way that Avril did it that makes it almost presentable. All I know is that tomorrow is my birthday (whee! Twenty-nine!), and I won’t be shaving my head or affixing spikes to my temples with any kind of riveting machine or glue. The closest I’ve come to that is what I did two weeks ago, and let’s just say that I went from having hair that touched my lower back to … well, this:

photo of anne hathaway short hair pictures
Note: No, before you ask, I am not Anne Hathaway.

Are you guys liking—or at the very least, able to tolerate—Avril’s new look?