Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Ashton Kutcher

Oh, F-ck Off: ‘Two and a Half Men’ Adds “Sexy, Gorgeous” Lesbian Character

ashton kutcher jon cryer

Two and a Half Men is obviously the worst show on television at the moment, and has been since it first went on the air WAY TOO MANY years ago. It’s misogynistic, has terrible writing and is most definitely NOT funny in any way. And yet… it survives. HOW is this possible? Who is watching this trash?

The show’s latest foray into fuckery comes with the announcement that they plan to replace Angus T Jones – who publicly bit the hand that fed him, so to speak, by saying what absolute disgusting garbage the show is – with a “sexy, gorgeous” lesbian character who’s meant to be dead Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen)’s long lost daughter. Are you kidding me?

Let me guess what’s going to happen here. We know that the character will show up to find her father and discover that he’s dead, but she’ll still move in with Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer. So… what, they’ll both fall in love with her and think they can fuck her straight? They’ll take to being pervy and spying on her, hoping to catch a little girl on girl action to masturbate to? I want to punch so many things.

Ashton Kutcher Looks Pretty Good As Steve Jobs In The Jobs Trailer

ashton kutcher steve jobs movie

Ashton Kutcher resembling Steve Jobs is one of the more surprising things I’ve realized but now that I see it, I can’t un-see it. The trailer for his film, Jobs, is out. The title is  confusing, but he plays Apple founder Steve Jobs. The trailer uses Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Can’t Hold Us”, which is the same song that’s used in the Microsoft Outlook commercials. Haha.

What do you guys think of the trailer, and of Kutcher as Jobs? Will you see it, or do you agree that he’s one of the 20 most hated celebs?

Are Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Getting Married in the UK?

mila kunis ashton kutcher

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are the weirdest couple ever, but it looks like they’re here to stay a while longer because rumour has it they may be planning a wedding in the UK in the near future. Mila’s been filming Jupiter Ascending over “across the pond”, as they say (I hate that expression) and apparently the couple have grown fond of it. I don’t blame them on that front – I miss England every day and can’t wait to get back.

Anyhoo, from The Daily Star (so BIG grain of salt suggested):

Because the Hollywood couple have set their hearts on tying the knot in Britain once Ashton’s divorce from ex Demi Moore, 50, is finalised.

They’ve even started drawing up a list of Blighty’s best locations for the nuptials.

A friend of the hot pair told us: “Mila and Ashton have fallen in love with the UK.

“They are desperate to get married as soon as possible because they want to start a family and are slightly old-fashioned about these things.

“The first place they thought of was Stonehenge, but they’ve also been looking at the Royal Pavilion in Brighton.

“Mila loves the idea of a stately home or something in the English countryside.”

“Although the venue may be spectacular, the wedding itself will be low-key.

“It’s expected it will just be Ashton, Mila and a few family and friends.”

Well, that sounds like a blast. Good for them! Or something. I don’t know, I don’t have much to say today, I guess. May these two live on in sweatpanted Punk’d heaven.