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Ashton Kutcher

65Quotables

Ashton Kutcher, MENSA member

“If the fat people just gave the skinny people more food, we could all just eat… We could solve obesity and hunger at the same time.”

Nobel Prize winning genius Ashton Kutcher on his plan to end world hunger.

August 9, 2009 at 10:26 am by Kelly
Filed Under: Ashton Kutcher

29Ashton Kutcher Still Thinks Demi Moore Is Beautiful

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They’ve been married an eternity in Hollywood time, but the bond between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore still seems to be strong. Ashton’s been promoting his new movie, Spread, where he plays a male hooker — the Film.com film critic summarized it to me by saying “Ashton has about forty sex scenes. I’d lend you a copy but I’d be afraid of what would be on it when you gave it back.”

At the red carpet event for Spread, he spoke to People magazine about how Demi Moore gets more beautiful every day. “Doesn’t she?” he said. “I don’t know – I’m trying to figure it out. I so see it, man. She becomes more beautiful to me by the minute, and I don’t know what it is. She’s got the magic thing.”

It’s heartwarming to see such a loving Hollywood couple, but I have to wonder how this’ll work out in the long run. When he’s 50, Ashton will be a distinguished, witty, swoon-worthy George Clooney type, and Demi will be a 60-something woman. Will Ashton be able to turn away all the 22-year-olds throwing themselves at him? You know what? I hope so.

August 4, 2009 at 2:57 pm by Evil Beet

3315 Year Old Tallulah Belle Willis Gets Trashed at Scout’s Birthday Party

Tallulah Belle Willis, Trashed and Hitting on an Older Man at Scout Willis' 18th Birthday Party

At a rowdy 18 year old’s birthday party, you might expect the restaurant or the ladies bathroom to get trashed, but not the birthday girl’s 15 year old sister.

The Moore – Kutcher – Willis clan got together this past Friday night to celebrate Scout Willis’ 18th birthday with a 20′s flapper-style bash at L.A. restaurant Cicada. Guests included Dita Von Teese, Marisa Tomei, and Rumer Willis, doing her best to let everyone know exactly what kind of underwear she was wearing.

But the real star of the night was the youngest Willis girl, Tallulah Belle, who spent the night smoking, drinking, and hitting on older men. She reportedly ended the night by stumbling out of the restaurant with a pack of cigarettes and a pack of her friends, who attempted to keep her upright on her walk of shame to a waiting vehicle. Step dad of the year, Ashton Kutcher, looked none to happy about it either.

Now, to be honest, the drink the paps have circled in the above picture looks like nothing more than ice water– which may be damning enough evidence in itself, since no one drinks ice water at a party unless they’ve already gone overboard with the alcohol. If you’re going strictly non-alcoholic, you’ll have either soda, or juice, or a Redbull in your glass.

She’s also shoeless– another likely sign of inebriation– and in the pictures of her leaving the restaurant, she is quite clearly carrying a pack of cigarettes.

July 19, 2009 at 3:33 pm by Kelly

12Ashton Kutcher Is Way Serious About Twitter

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Ashton Kutcher is a pretty passionate Twitterer.  He was the first to reach one million followers beating out CNN.  He actually issued a little challenge, promising to knock on the door of Ted Turner’s home if he was able to outrace CNN to the one million mark.  No one said he was the brightest bulb on the tree.

Anyway, blogger Jonah Perreti made a joke that he was offended that he tweeted a message to Kutcher and didn’t get a reply.  Read here for the full explanation and the recording of the message he received on his answering machine from Kutcher himself.  I guess it’s nice that he cares, but again-not the brightest bulb on the tree.

May 8, 2009 at 12:59 pm by Wendie
Filed Under: Ashton Kutcher

38Demi’s Ass

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Ashton Kutcher tweeted his wife’s ass on Twitter.  That makes him a twat, right?  It would make him an ex-husband if he were married to me, but I’ve never been tolerant of men who refer to their spouses as “wifey” anyway.  Ah, that pesky Nikon celebrity endorser…

Demi Moore seriously has the best ass for a forty-six-year-old.  Is this a result of Kabbalah?  Because, I just tied about eighteen red strings around my wrist and I’ve already lost two pounds.  And I’m feeling way more holier.  Than thou, that is.

March 23, 2009 at 6:55 am by Wendie

14Still Going Strong!

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore take in New Orleans Saints game against the Atlanta Falcons at the Georgia Dome.

I have to admit, I was one of the doubters of these two, but I’ve become a believer. They still seem genuinely in love. More power to them, I suppose.

November 10, 2008 at 10:34 pm by Evil Beet