Anne Hathaway actually blew me away with her punk transformation for the Costume Institute Gala for the “PUNK: Chaos to Couture” exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum (or Met Gala for short). Doesn’t she look great as a blonde? Every year celebs dress to the hilt for the event for whatever the theme is. This year, it’s punk. So keep that in mind when looking at these photos — these looks are supposed to be crazy and over the top.

BEST: Anne Hathaway, January Jones, Sienna Miller

WORST: Almost everyone else, but especially Kerry Washington, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kim Kardashian and honestly there were so many more I couldn’t even deal with.

PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY: Miley Cyrus and Anne Hathaway

Check it out!

Katie Holmes. This isn’t remotely punk and you look physically uncomfortable and you should go home.

Katy, I love you, but I don’t love this. You look pretty but the whole thing is just…just not right.

Nicole Richie. Okay. Totally get what she was going for here. It does not work. But I really admire the risk.

This is as punk as it’s ever going to get for Taylor Swift, so I’ll take it.

Gwyneth Patlrow what in the ever loving hell is this? It’s ugly. And the gown you wore to the Iron Man premiere was way more punk than this. This whole thing is terrible. What are you even doing.

Cameron Diaz. Uh.

Jennifer Lopez. There is nothing about this that I like.

Kim Kardashian baffles me. She walks around running errands and eating lunch in sky high heels and tight leather and then for a punk themed gala she wears 1970′s living room drapes? And Kanye, are you about to conduct an orchestra? You both look stupid.

Blake Lively. Stunning woman. Boring and ugly dress for this event. It’s like you didn’t even try.

Miley Cyrus in Marc Jacobs. THIS is what I’ve been waiting for. This is how you do formal punk. Her bod looks killer. The dress is great for the occasion, and not too costume-y. The hair is very over the top and to that I say, well done. A+ for you, Miley. If you hate this, you and Katie Holmes should go hang out at the American Girl Store.

Rooney Mara is always a little punk, so for her this is almost boring.

January Jones. YES. My girl January ALWAYS BRINGS IT to the Met Galas. And I always bring her the love.

Michelle Obama’s Arch Nemesis Kerry Washington. Leather gloves and black taffeta stapled on the back? Really, Kerry? That was the best you could do?

Jessica Alba. WHERE ARE HER EYEBROWS? Is this purposeful? Is it just bad lighting? Can I just not see them? What the hell is happening where am I what day is it

Oh my God Kirsten Dunst, this isn’t even the right theme. You look amazing but you could have done this theme so well and instead you Gatsby’d it up. I’m so mad at you.

Sarah Jessica Parker wore some kind of…mohawk…headpiece? So points for sticking to the theme, but…Miley did it so much better. It almost pains me to say that. Almost.

And this is also as punk as we will get for Emma Watson. Okay. I accept it.

Ella Fanning got a little lost in the theme. I do love her eye makeup but the tie dye is not right. Even if the theme was tie dye. It would still be bad.

Nicki Minaj. This is like a dress you would get at Bebe for a girls’ weekend in Vegas. Do not like. She looks very pretty though.

Jessica Paré. Nooooo Megan Draper, why did you do this. You could have done something so much better.

Chloe Sevigny, I am so disappointed in you. This is so blah for you and so blah for this event. This is the kind of stuff you would wear to the Golden Globes. You’re Sevs, you gotta step it up for these occassions.

Ashley Olsen. I, uh, okay. Well it’s not boring. It’s hard to look away from. It’s intriguing. Kind of like the Tupac Hologram.

Anja Rubik. Haha. I like this. I like how strung out and Angela Bowie it is.

Julie Macklowe (“socialite”). This is a perfect example of taking the theme too far into the costume end. This is not good.

Madonna. She clearly went with the theme…and I’m not sure what I think. I need some time to think this over. And several days of meditation and soul searching.

Wat

Sienna Miller. YES. I LOVE THIS. This is perfect.

THE END.

Christmas is coming up quick, you guys. In just a few short weeks, it’ll be time to hang out with your loved ones and sing fun songs and eat baked goods and be happy. Doesn’t that just sound lovely? I think so. But even though that is, really and truly, my very favorite thing about Christmas, there’s no denying that presents are going to be given, and presents are going to be received. You can’t control what presents you receive (ugh, so lame!), but you can write a very pointed list to give to your mom or your significant other or your crazy rich aunt or whoever. And I’m about to tell you the very first thing that you’re going to put on this list.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen designed a backpack, friends! I know, Olsen twin fashion is always exciting, especially when you can get it for yourself. So without making you wait any longer, I’m going to show you this work of art, all right? Here we go:

What you are seeing is a backpack “created out of black patent leather from Nile crocodiles.” It’s a collaboration between Mary Kate and Ashley’s label, The Row, and artist Damien Hirst. This one is adorned with prescription pills (probably not real, sorry), but you can get ones that are just plain black, or ones with polka dots. There are only 12 of these lovelies available, and for just $55,000, one of them can be yours!

So start writing those wishlists! First, obviously, would be this $55,000 backpack (the pill one is my fave!). Then second could be an iPad or a house or whatever. Then for the third thing, you could probably just write “a clue.”

It’s going to be a great Christmas!

Also, have you ever really seen her smile beyond that insipid, knowing, coy, and downright condescending little smirk that she normally gives during photo shoots and interviews? Because this is unbelievable! She looks cute and approachable … and much, much like Michelle a la ‘Full House’. Which I am, of course, loving.

While Ashley’s not doing things like hooking up with Johnny Depp (disappointing), she is doing normal, real-person things like swimming. In the ocean. Where, you know, fish pee and stuff. BOURGEOIS fish who would probably clothes shop somewhere fourth-rate if they were people and not fish, because I hear that fish are POOR and NOT AT ALL IN-THE-KNOW about things like fashionable labels and creepy twin designers and the $3,900 backpacks created by said twin designers that are apparently a necessity for some people like Jessica Biel. Scuzzy, scrubby fish. Ugh. How do they even function in life?

Ahem. As you know, Johnny Depp and his long-term, live-in girlfriend Vanessa Paradis (someone who’s way, way more famous than all of the Olsens put together, really, and that’s saying a lot) have been having domestic issues, and even though they were together for fourteen years and have two children together, sources are saying that they’re done. Old news. Moving on.

In Touch is now saying that Johnny was photographed leaving Ashley’s New York City apartment in the wee hours of the morning, and also claim to have photos to prove it. From In Touch:

In Touch can exclusively reveal that on February 27, Johnny was spotted making a hasty exit from an office building connected to Ashley’s apartment building “looking like he didn’t want to be seen,” a witness tells In Touch. In fact, an office worker confirms, “An e-mail went around to the employees saying Johnny Depp was using our building to try to avoid paparazzi.”

It turns out the star, 48, was secretly leaving 23-years younger Ashley’s loft after a sneak slumber party. Arriving in the afternoon of February 26, Johnny hunkered down in Ashley’s Tribeca digs until noon the next day — nearly 24 hours later. “It was quiet in her apartment, like it was just the two of them in there,” an insider recalls, and though no one outside can know what happened, “It didn’t seem like it was just a visit between friends.”

Whatever the twosome were up to during their overnighter, it certainly left Johnny exhausted. When the star finally left the next day, “he looked like he was out of it,” an onlooker said.

Do I believe it? Ha! No. Seriously, unless I see photos of Johnny’s penis, face, and social security card actually entering the vagina of any of the Olsen girls (or, actually, anyone with the last name of Olsen the world over), then I’m not going to believe it. Come on! Please! This is Johnny Depp we’re talking about here. He doesn’t hook up with just anyone, you know. In order for Johnny Depp to issue an up-close and personal genital talking to, lady’s got to be epic. And unless you’re one of the folks who think the word “epic” is synonymous with “bitches killed Heath Ledger,” then we’re just not talking epic, guys. Not really, really epic in the sense that it means, you know, epic.

Nice try, though, In Touch.

Wow, Ashley Olsen.  Looking good.  I mean, the “no yesterday’s eyeliner” look really suits you – you look fresh-faced, young, and approachable, not to mention clean. That’s probably the best part of this entire thing. The cigarette, though? Hm. I bet that hair of yours smells just great, girl.

Photos courtesy of Flynet Pictures

I’ll give you a hint: it’s the one who didn’t kill Heath Ledger.

Anyway, my general knee-jerk reaction is all like ‘Woo! I totally thought he was losing his damn mind palling around with that butch Snook-alike‘ that he took to the movies last week, but my SECOND knee-jerk reaction (I can do that, you know) is WTF? Justin Timberlake and Ashley Olsen? In what world does that make any sense?

The story comes from Us Weekly, and even though they’re more reputable than, say, Star, I still have my reservations about this one:

[Us Weekly] reports that Justin Timberlake and Ashley Olsen — both newly single, former child stars with their own fashion labels — have been inseparable (and flirty!) in and around NYC of late. One insider close to the pair (spotted together at the Greenwich Hotel, a Saturday Night Live afterparty, two Broadway shows and a polo match outside the city) tells Us: “They are hooking up.”

Adds another source of the unexpected twosome, who both ended high-profile relationships in March (he with Jessica Biel after four years together, she with actor Justin Bartha after two years): “They’re really trying to keep it on the down-low.” A rep for Timberlake denies anything non-platonic, telling Us: “They are friends. They are not romantically involved.”

So, I guess what the magazine is trying to say without my particular brand of crass, is that the two are just fucking. And in Hollywood, as much as anywhere else, a lot of that goes on. No biggie. But I’m just kind of ‘huh?’ about the whole thing, I guess, because I grew up with Mary-Kate and Ashley as MICHELLE TANNER on Full House. I even share the same BIRTHDAY with these bitches (June 13th, it’s coming up, mark your calendars!) and I can’t see anyone being all like ‘Oh, yeah, remember that Michelle chick from Full House? I gotta get me a piece of that.’ I know these girls outgrew their FH roles, but to me, they’ll ALWAYS be Michelle Tanner.

What about you guys: do you think the Timberlake/Olsen bang rumors are legit?

If I had to make a list of my top ten favorite things in this world, the top five would probably include “dressing up” and Pretty Woman. You know what that means, right?  I would kill to go to a fancy opera premiere.  Ok, I’ll be real, I’d only kill if the opera involved Richard Gere escorting me and giving me beautiful jewelry, but still, I would very much enjoy a fancy opera.  With all that being said, I think you can understand why this photo of Mary Kate and Ashley at the Metropolitan Opera is like a knife to the heart.

I know the Olsens have always been wacky with their style, but come on now.  This looks like shit you find at the Goodwill that makes you sad because someone’s grandma obviously just died and donated all her fashion to the less fortunate, and that’s a heavy thought that no one wants on their night out at the opera.  How rude, right?

I’m getting to the point in this life where instead of automatically thinking Full House or ‘You killed Heath Ledger you bitch,’ I think ‘NYC hobos’ whenever I see Mary Kate and Ashley. And not even, like, well-dressed hobos. The ones that you see on bum fights, which is totally not cool. I am not an advocate of bum fights, and I think filming it and jamming it on YouTube is a really fucking awful thing to do, but I’d love to see these two little mini-hobos duking it out in a back alley of New York City. One would be all like, ‘You stole my boyfriend, bitch,’ and the other would say, ‘I didn’t steal him, he just THOUGHT I WAS YOU, and I WAS DRUNK,’ and then they’d fight about who has a lesser tolerance for alcohol and a higher tolerance for cocaine and pills, and the shit about the boyfriend would start all over again.

Anyway, MK and Ashley were interviewed by Vogue, of course, on their twin habits and what life’s been like since they stopped churning out all of those budget Miley Cyrus movies like Here We Have Two Similar-Looking Girls and They’re Going to Go On Vacation and Do Zany Things But Have Good Clean Fun While They Do So or whatever they’re called, and whatever else involves being twins and fashion designers for something other than Walmart clothing lines.

Mary-Kate on being so close: “Some of our memories are shared. We don’t know what actually happened to whom. One of us was stung by a bee, but we can’t remember who, because we both felt it.” (Um, maybe you just BOTH got stung? Bee stings aren’t, you know, all that uncommon these days.)

Ashley on not having formal training to design fashions: “Fair question, but Dualstar started when we were six. And we had a collection with Walmart at twelve, which was the upper tier of the tween market. It was before celebrity designers. And we were really designing it. It would be jeans, a bit bohemian, or with a little blazer. It was really fashion-forward.”

On being in the public eye: “The press here in New York respect you more. It was the worst in Los Angeles when we got our license. They would follow us. They knew where we lived. And you don’t know who these people are. People just out of jail.”

On being young and stalked: “We are paranoid,” Mary-Kate states, glancing out the window. But isn’t that not paranoia, because what you’re imagining is what’s happening? “Well,” she responds, “we have no way to tell the difference.”

Ashley on the clothes-sharing that you just KNOW is happening: “There’s hers, there’s mine. And a huge ‘maybe’ pile.”

OK, so what we appear to have here is a couple of well-adjusted (?) child stars that emerged successfully from child- and teen-stardom and transitioned nicely into adulthood. And you know what? Given child star history and statistics, that’s probably the creepiest thing about these two.

So here’s something I’ve been wondering for like, five years now: Have the Olsen Twins had something done to their faces?

I know, I know, they grew up in the public eye, so obviously we’ve seen their faces morph quite a bit since their Full House days, but do the little girls in the left photo up top look like younger versions of the girls in the right photo? I’m thinkin’ no. A couple of nose jobs? Maybe. Some veneers? Probably. And obviously their penchant for extensions and trying out new hair colors has had an overall effect on their look… but I can’t be positive if any of this is right. Most of the plastic surgery we see is so blatant that it’s hard to pick up on the well done stuff.

What kind of work do you think Mary-Kate and Ashley have had done, if any? I could talk about this all day, so feel free to get really into this with me…

Oh this was some news waking up this morning. Heck yes. Justin Bartha and Ashley Olsen, who dated for, like, fifteen years (alright, I give: it was only two) have split, sources confirm.

I’ve loved Justin Bartha for a really, really long time, and I’m not going to lie – I was totally devastated when I found out that Ashley and he might be shacking up together at one of her places in New York City. I mean, do you KNOW how HARD IT IS to break people up when they LIVE together? Heavens, I’m not even gonna GO there today.

Anyway, in light of Justin’s grand return to the male meat market, I’ve compiled a list, a similar list to the one that featured the ten hottest women in Hollywood, so cast your vote once and move it on, please.

#10 – Colin Firth

#9 – Ralph Fiennes

#8 – Rupert Friend

#7 – Ashton Kutcher

#6 – Justin Bartha

#5 – Joaquin Phoenix

#4 – Michiel Huisman

#3 – Bear Grylls

#2 – Ryan Gosling

#1 – Adrien Brody

Photo of Justin and Ashley courtesy of Just Jared

The Olsen twins made a trip to LAX, and I guess Mary Kate was off being eccentric or something, because the focus was definitely on Ashley.  Well, Ashley and her awesome dog.  Rightly so, because these pictures are wonderful.  The one on the stairs where the dog is looking straight at the camera, all chill-like, is the new background on my computer.

By the way, do you recognize the dog?  You should, because I’m pretty sure you saw it back in April.  It’s cool if you missed it though, I’d understand.  Ashley’s beautiful boyfriend, Justin Bartha, was in the same photograph, and you can always get a free pass for Justin Bartha.

It’s been awhile since Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have done press together, but they’re back in the game and just hit up the Ellen show yesterday (the episode aired today.)

Ellen asked the girls about their “secret twin powers” (Ashley says they’re mirror twins, so when one of them is up, the other is down and they need to keep each other checked) before gifting them with oversized purses and sunglasses. The clip above is short, but you get to see the twins interact with Ellen enough that you’ll be convinced that they turned out OK.

But if you’re looking for something negative to harp on, at one point Ellen complimented the twins for staying out of trouble all these years in Hollywood, perhaps forgetting that Mary-Kate entered rehab at the age of 18 for anorexia and a rumored coke problem. And some people think she may have had something to do with the death of Heath Ledger.