Anna Faris is ready to start a family with her hubby, actor Chris Pratt of “Parks and Recreation” and Moneyball! Yaaaay! They are going to have the cutest, funniest, most talented babies.

But before the loving couple gets down to work (heh), they need to tie up some loose ends. So: Chris Pratt asked his Twitter followers whether anyone were interested in adopting Anna’s beloved cat.

Bad move! Reports Us,

Unfortunately, Pratt’s inquiry was met with a several rude comments and even death threats, prompting the actor to address the situation on his official website.

“To those of you somehow hung up on the notion that I kicked the walker out from underneath our cat and threw her into the streets, first of all, cats don’t use walkers, so that’s a ridiculous notion,” Pratt wrote. “Secondly, I found my aging cat a g—damn loving home! Ease up with the death threats for Heaven’s sake!”

It looks like Mr. Pratt removed his blog post shortly after, and Google Cache has no memory of it. Grr!

I really feel for Chris Pratt. Don’t get me wrong—I would never get rid of my boyfriend’s cat. Or any cat! And I say that as a person who is allergic to cats (not deathly, no, but palpably).

But my best friend is an expectant mother, and her heart is totally crushed: she probably/definitely has to give up her beloved cat, Elton. Mind you, this isn’t like a weird 1700s superstition thing. That demon-cat has been feral since he was a kitten, and he has only become more freaking sinister these last ten years. He always slinks into the guest bedroom in the middle of the night and claws me in the eye. I have to lock the door! I’m telling you, given the chance, that cat would totally gnaw a baby’s face off. Fact.

ANNA FARIS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.

US Magazine wonders whether this is a wig, and that is some wishful thinking, US Magazine. It’s like, just, OK, this is not a wig; if only this were a wig.

Anna Faris is a natural blonde—I know, I know, not that natural, I do have eyes—and until a couple weeks ago her bobbed haircut was so pretty and glossy and, well, kind of wig-like. But we loved it, right? It was such fun, happy hair, for happier, funner times.

But this new look is… dour, somehow? Whose idea was this hair? It’s awful. It’s so brown. It’s so short, so brown. I can’t wrap my head around the wherefores, but her haircut somehow makes her look her age, and in the worst possible way (SHE’S 34). This is Mom Hair.

And I’ll tell you what else. I love short hair. Short hair is the best. I got my first pixie cut when I was 18, trying to cash in on my “elfin chic.” But I absolutely did not know what I was doing, what with the whole new world of pomades and sprays and gels opened up to me. And so I had a serious, retroactively-humiliating case of the Crispies. Every strand of hair was immutable. My hair was so crispy, I once leaned in for a kiss and poked the guy IN HIS EYE with my anime hair.

A few years slipped by before I really understood how to make my short hair not-crispy. You think it’s easy? It isn’t. I have trodden this path before, and it was a long, hard road.

So I think I can understand what’s happening here: Anna Faris woke up Monday morning, showered, pooled a dollop of expensive product in the palm of her left hand, rubbed her hands together, ran her palms through her too-short ‘do, picked at her bangs for a minute, and then shouted, “Good to go!” And then Anna Faris high-fived the mirror, leaving a smudgy little handprint made of Pureology residue.

NO, ANNA FARIS. NO. You were not good-to-go! Contrary to whatever your liar stylist told you, this is not “wake up in the morning and go directly outside” hair. Short hair is an entirely new language. Learn your hair, my beloved Anna Faris. LEARN YOUR HAIR.

I am only telling you this because I love you. I will check in from time to time to see how you’re doing.

House Bunny’s Anna Faris has been engaged to that Chris Pratt dude — the one who had the pleasure of co-starring with Mischa Barton on the O.C. — since 2008.  As it turns out, they actually got married over a month ago in Bali.  Which could mean one of two things:  Their people were completely masterful at orchestrating a secret ceremony or no one really cared.

In April, Beet mentioned that the Anna of today looks nothing like the Anna of before.  I planned on including an “Anna My, Hasn’t Your Face Changed? Faris” photo gallery, but the agency that had the best vintage Anna photos, wasn’t cooperating with me today.  Like there will every be another time that any gossip blogger is going to want to download 31 pictures of Anna Faris’ face.

Anyway, suffice it to say, she does look like a completely different human being.  Congrats to Chris Pratt and his robo-bride!

Now HERE’S some refreshing news: Anna Faris, who’s getting married this summer to actor Chris Pratt (no relation to the Douchepratt), says rather than starve herself in preparation, she’s eating more.

“I am fattening it up!” she confessed when asked if she’ll be changing her workout routine for the big day. “Now that I have a man, I’m like, ‘Oh, I don’t have to try anymore! Now I can eat. We love to splurge at home. We love to cook. My fiancé is an incredible eater, and so he’s really fun to feed, and it’s great to share some wine and watch a movie. He’s always like, ‘Baby, don’t lose that butt!’”

Oh whatever. Like Anna Faris has a butt. Also this is the same girl whose face completely changed, Audrina-style, somewhere around 2007. So I’m not entirely sure I’m buying into the I-love-me-for-me argument she’s presenting here.

The cool thing here is that I’ve FINALLY heard of this dude she’s marrying — he’s in the new Amy Poehler show, Parks & Recreation (which is actually really really good if you haven’t seen it). He plays Andy, the loser, broken-legged boyfriend of Rashida Jones’ character. Hopefully he’ll end up being more stable for Anna — she dumped her last husband, another unknown actor, in April 2007.

At the LA premiere of Observe and Report.

The House Bunny star and total plastic surgery victim (seriously, does anyone remember what she used to look like?) got engaged to her boyfriend, actor Chris Pratt, late last year, her rep confirms.

Anna filed for divorce from her previous husband, also a no-name actor, in April 2007.

Better luck this time around, Anna! Hopefully you won’t have to change your whole face again!

At the photocall for The House Bunny (“Una Conejita en el Campus”) in Madrid.

And, ya know, Anna Faris, who’s really the brains behind this whole operation.

The House Bunny — which also stars AmIdol also-ran Katharine McPhee — was the #1 film in the country on Friday, its opening weekend, bringing in $5.9M and knocking Tropic Thunder out of the top spot. It beat the Stiller comedy by a healthy margin, indicating that it’ll hold onto the #1 position through the rest of the weekend.

Further congratulations are due to Rumer for finally figuring out how to pose for photos without looking like a goddamn sea creature. She probably had a team of scientists working around the clock to determine exactly how she should cock her head in photographs. Seriously, though, she looks considerably less fug these days, and it doesn’t appear to be due to plastic surgery (coughAnnaFariscough), so whatever she’s doing is working. Well done, sweetie.

Did anyone actually see this film yet?

Can Rumer Willis act????

Do tell!

Miss Anna Faris, one of my favorite little-seen starlets, showed up at the premiere of We Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry looking like, well, not like Anna Faris. Ms. Faris filed for divorce in early April, but it appears the new face predates that. Looking through the WireImage archives, it would seem the new face debuted at Sundance in January — the last photo of the old face is from November 2006. I can’t even quite pinpoint what she had done, but she looks like a totally different person, and it kinda bums me out, because she had such an adorable, unique look before. Now she just kind of looks like a standard-issue starlet. Boring.

Update: Okay, based on comments from here and ONTD, here’s what I think changed:

1) Obviously, hair, make-up and darker eyebrows. Or maybe she’s just using a new hair dryer.
2) Bridge of the nose is smaller.
3) Chin’s been smoothed out a little.
4) Collagen injections in her lips.
5) Probably the ears, although I’m not 100% sure on that one.
6) Super-blue contacts, ala Paris Hilton. :(

I don’t know much about this girl but I know I love her. She did all those Scary Movie sequels, but she also did Lost in Translation (where her ditzy starlet character was apparently based on Sofia Coppola’s arch-nemesis, Cameron Diaz) and Just Friends (where she played a ditzy starlet again — but she does it sooo well!!!). Anyway, she just filed for divorce from her husband of three years, “actor” Ben Indra. What do you know him from? Nothing, kids. Nothing at all. And with three movies slated to come out in 2007 alone, you can understand why perhaps Anna wanted to try something new. The two have no children together. Faris is being repped in the divorce proceedings by Laura Wasser, who I guess has some free time on her hands now that Britney’s divorce case is winding down.