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Angus T. Jones

Is Angus T. Jones Being Replaced by Miley Cyrus?

photo of miley cyrus and angus t. jones pictures two and a half men pic
To quote a viral McDonald’s commercial of my youth, “Hey, it could happen.”

Word on the street is that Miley Cyrus, former guest star on ‘Two and a Half Men’, is being looked at by the show’s executives as a permanent replacement for Angus T. Jones. The other word on the street is that Angus T. Jones is being forced out of the show because he’s ungrateful, and weird, and not all that great for publicity. Go figure.

A production source told Celebuzz, “There are talks to replace Angus and the perfect person would be Miley Cyrus. The episodes that she appeared on brought in the highest ratings of the season. One possibility is that she could easily be written into the show to go to college.”

Well, duh, then. That kind of sounds like a no-brainer. I mean, she was already on the show, so it’s apparent how well-received she’d be, and it’s not like she’s got anything else going on at the moment career-wise anyway, which means it’d be a perfect fit, right? Not so fast—don’t forget, Angus issued that half-assed apology the other day, and be it hell or high water, nothing could tear Angus from his religious-based convictions (unless it had a price tag of $350k per episode or greater), so maybe Angus isn’t all that keen on leaving the show that made him who he is (professionally, of course; we won’t have any blasphemy up in here today, heck no). If sources are telling the truth, though, he might not have a choice otherwise.

What do you guys think about Miley as a potential candidate for ‘Two and a Half Men’? What the hell would they call the show then?

Angus T. Jones: Definitely Not Quitting

A photo of Angus T. Jones

It’s certainly a dirty job, working on a television show and making tons of money. But you know, someone’s got to do it. And that someone might as well be Angus. Since, you know, he’s there already. Or whatever.

But yeah, he’s not quitting, according to People. He called the show “filth” and said that it was controlled by Satan, but a paycheck’s a paycheck, I guess. He isn’t scheduled to shoot until January, after the holiday break, and the word is that he’ll be there with bells on. Or probably crucifixes and vials of holy water. Because of Satan.

But then again, the source is careful to note that Angus will “honor his contract through the end of the season.” Over at TMZ, their sources say that he’ll definitely quit after this season, and that he wanted to quit last year but his reps told him that would be a dumb move. That article also mentions that Angus never thought anyone would pay attention to his video, and he feels really bad that it’s caused all these issues.

I don’t know, I think Angus is a good kid. The hypocrisy is annoying, and it’s sort of hard for me to understand how he would think that this wouldn’t affect anything about the show, but whatever. He’s 19, he’s a little misguided, maybe a little simple, and he doesn’t want to do his show anymore. Worse things have happened.

Let’s conclude this with a solid “bless his heart,” and then we’ll try to move on from this. Unless someone really dramatic happens, natch.

Angus T. Jones Is Way Sorry About This Whole Thing

A photo of Angus T. Jones

Yeah, Angus T. Jones, star of Two and a Half Men, begged everyone to stop watching his show. And yeah, he called it “filth,” and sure, he sort of insinuated that Satan was involved with the production. But he’s still totally grateful, ok? And you probably just misunderstood him anyway.

Here’s the statement he released about the situation:

“I have been the subject of much discussion, speculation and commentary over the past 24 hours.

While I cannot address everything that has been said or right every misstatement or misunderstanding, there is one thing I want to make clear. Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on Two and Half Men with whom I have worked and over the past ten years who have become an extension of my family.

Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them.

I also want all of the crew and cast on our show to know how much I personally care for them and appreciate their support, guidance and love over the years. I grew up around them and know that the time they spent with me was in many instances more than with their own families. I learned life lessons from so many of them and will never forget how much positive impact they have had on my life.

I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that.”

See? He still thinks the show is filthy and controlled by Satan, but he’s so appreciative of it! It all makes sense now!

And, for what it’s worth, Charlie Sheen has officially thrown his two cents in by saying that it’s “radically clear to me that the show is cursed.” So there’s that.

Now can someone give Angus a hug and some life direction or something? Not Charlie Sheen, though.

Angus T. Jones’ Mother Has a Bit to Say About Her Son and Religion and ‘Two and a Half Men’

photo of angus t jones pictures
This is what Angus‘s mom had to say, and surprisingly, it’s not in support of her son’s somewhat-ungrateful rant against the show that provided him the platform on which to spew his beliefs:

“I’m concerned he’s being exploited by the church.”

Yeah, it’s not much, but just think for a second. She’s his mother, and they don’t have a terribly bad or wholly damaged relationship that we’re aware of, so just how much can she say without really throwing her kid under the bus? Can she honestly go ahead and say something like, “This little shit’s digging his own grave with a Lorne Michaels-brand spade?” or “My son is the Second Coming, maybe”? No, she can’t, because she doesn’t strike me as a Michael-or-Dina Lohan type. She is, however, a former criminal (yes, it gets better), so there is that. Here’s the dirt on Angus’s mother, Carey Jones, courtesy of the Daily Mail:

… His mother Carey … was arrested in 1992 for ripping the meter out of a taxi and then punching a police officer in the face while she was drunk.

Then in 1997 she was arrested on a burglary charge after a woman woke to find Carey in her living room.
Jones’ father Kelly, now 50, was arrested in 1986 for possession of marijuana and carrying an unlicensed .45-caliber handgun after he created a disturbance in a bar.

In 1997 Carey had Kelly arrested on an assault charge after he allegedly pulled her out of a car and pushed her to the ground. She later dropped the charge, but Kelly was ordered to complete an anti-violence class.

Heavens.

Also, I don’t know if you guys know this, but Angus’s mentor, Christopher Jones, who was the other dude in Angus’s ‘Two and a Half Men’-shaming video, is kind of crazypants. Jones has oft mentioned that he thinks President Obama is Hitler (incarnate? Because between you and me, those two boys look nothing alike), and that Jay-Z is a “devil-worshiping Freemason.” Hudson also claims that a gas shortage (a government-imposed gas shortage, mind you) could lead you to eat your baby, so yeah. This is some serious stuff, friends. Serious, serious stuff.

And God. Are there so few normal families out there? And by “normal,” I mean “non-abusive, non-jail-serving, and non-completely dysfunctional”? I don’t think I’m hoping for a lot here, guys. This poor kid—it’s no wonder that a confused nineteen-year-old in this kind of situation has no idea what to think about anything.

It’s Cool, Angus T. Jones Still Has A Job

A photo of Angus T. Jones

From TMZ:

Angus T. Jones is in showbiz limbo, because he hasn’t quit “Two and a Half Men” and show execs haven’t fired him after he trashed the show … TMZ has learned.

Sources connected with “Men” tell TMZ … all of the execs on the show and at Warner Bros. have seen Angus’ video, in which he calls the sitcom “filth” and asks the audience to boycott.

We’ve learned Angus — who rakes in $350,000 an episode — has not contacted any of the show honchos to express his intentions, nor have any of his reps done the same.  Although Angus says in the video he doesn’t want to be on the show anymore, that message has not been conveyed to show execs.

On the other side, we’ve learned Chuck Lorre, the brains behind the show, has not played his hand … even to Warner Bros. executives.

Today could be telling, because there’s a scheduled rehearsal this AM.  It’s unclear if Angus is supposed to be there, but if he’s a no-show his absence could be the first step toward the door.

How crazy is this? Because I feel like this is pretty crazy. Angus here can believe in whatever he wants to, but the hypocrisy is just … it’s a lot. I can’t even wrap my mind around how stupid it is that he’s making this much money off of this show and that he still feels comfortable to talk about how horrible it is while still involved with it. SO DUMB.

Regardless of what happens, I imagine this will be a big deal. If he shows up to the rehearsal and doesn’t quit, it will be a big deal, and if he quits, it will probably be dramatic, which will make it a big deal. If he gets fired, boom, another big deal. So just settle in, all right? It’s about to get Angus up in here.

Quotables: Angus T. Jones Apparently Has a Thing Against Being the Highest-Paid Child Star Ever

photo of angus t jones pictures

If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men.’ I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it. Please stop filling your head with filth. People say it’s just entertainment. Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you, you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to television, especially with what you watch. … Watch out, just watch out… [because] a lot of people don’t like to think about how deceptive the enemy is. He’s been doing this for a lot longer than any of us have been around. So, we can’t play around. There’s no playing around when it comes to eternity.

Angus T. Jones, AKA the highest-paid child actor on television, talks about his faith and how it impacts his job and how his job impacts his faith.

In the video (the second half is below), Angus talks about how a “real” Christian would never act on a show like ‘Two and a Half Men’, and how he’s a real Christian, which I didn’t really understand all that well.

Or, I don’t know. Maybe it’s spending so much time around such shitty people (people who wreck their marriages via infidelity, drug-addicts, thieves, liars, those who keep the company of porn stars, and, of course, Miley Cyrus) that turns people to religion, who knows.

Charlie’s Death, Ashton’s Debut: a ‘Two and a Half Men’ Recap

Photo: Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt has taken over the Two and a Half Men kitchen

So! Did you watch Two and Half Men last night? Odds are you did—the season premiere raked in 28 million viewers. And heaven help me, I was one of them. There’s no DVR up in this piece, either, so I had to miss an entire half-hour of The Sing-Off. Grr! (I also missed Dancing with the Stars and the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen. I was also curious about David Krumholtz in The Playboy Club. Ah, well.)

Here’s a recapitulation of last night’s episode of Two and a Half Men:

At Charlie Harper’s funeral—which is attended only by angry women with various venereal diseases—we discover that Charlie had embarked on a brand-new, whirlwind romance with his erstwhile stalker, Rose (Melanie Lynskey). Rose explains during her eulogy how, on their romantic getaway to Paris, Rose discovered Charlie with another woman (already!) in their hotel room. Imagine her horror, Rose adds, when the very next day Charlie tragically ‘slipped’ off a train platform and fell into the path of an oncoming train. (But he didn’t suffer, Rose concludes—”his body just exploded like a balloon full of meat.”)

Early in the episode, Alan Harper (Jon Cryer) discovers he’ll have to sell the house. Then Jake Harper farts—I guess that was a joke?—and with that, Angus T. Jones vanishes for the rest of the episode. Seems like a pretty smart choice, actually.

We reestablish that Alan’s mother is a shrew. Also, Alan’s ex-wife is a shrew. Also, the maid. Also, Dharma of Dharma and Greg.

The first time I really laughed was when Alan was on the couch, cradling Charlie’s urn and talking to it—something about “just like old times: me, up here, you down in the bottle.” Maybe they didn’t need to cast Ashton Kutcher at all; maybe they could have just cast the urn. Hey, that works! The “half-a-man” could be the pile of ashes!

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