I’m so glad I didn’t run this story the first it happened. Happier still that I didn’t run it the second time it happened. See, folks, it’s not that I find all this business of Angelina Jolie fainting nilly-willy about India to be incredibly, tediously boring, it’s that I was waiting for it to happen a third time. Why take up perfectly good column inches writing about Jolie’s first two utterly irrelevant Indian fainting spells when you just know it will be a way bigger story when it happens the third time?
I am such a good journalist. Good ole’ Angie passed her damn self right out for the third time in India, where she’s been filming A Mighty Heart alongside home-wreckee Brad Pitt, who’s producing the film. Apparently Angelina is just so immersed in the character of Marianne Pearl, who lost her husband, journalist Daniel Pearl, at the hands of terrorists in Pakistan, that she just faints at the thought of a single drop of attention moving away from her and onto the genuinely tragic and terrifying story the film is trying to tell.
Okay, Angie. All eyes on you. Faint away, dear.
Angelina Jolie just hates it when photogs catch pictures of Shiloh without forking over the requisite $4M. [Just Jared]
Nicole Kidman’s husband, country singer Keith Urban, is the latest celeb to enter rehab for an alcoholism relapse. It’s going to be okay, Nicole. Remember, there’s still no twelve-step program for Scientology. [Allie is Wired]
The Hills‘ L.C. is officially dating Brody Jenner, the ex-boyfriend of her Laguna Beach nemesis, Kristin Cavallari. No comment yet from Cavallari, but we’re keeping a close eye on her t-shirts. [Hollyscoop]
Break out the weed and the slap bracelets. Fraggle Rock is coming to the big screen. [popbytes]
Breaking! Kevin Federline may not be the model father you’d previously believed him to be. Well, at least you were right about the model part. [PopCultureWhore]
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Christie Brinkley is such a rock star. [Teddy and Moo]
The casting (and cosmetic skin-darkening) of Angelina Jolie as the mixed-race Marianne Pearl in the upcoming A Mighty Heart, about the life and death of journalist Daniel Pearl, is reportedly drawing some criticism.
“I had assumed that the days when white actors took on the roles of black people had long passed away… There are mixed-race or black actresses who could have done a damn good job in this role,” says the blogger at BlackLooks.org, continuing that “what is taking place here is an act of arrogance and whitewashing by people who think that because they are super-rich they can be anything they want.”
What does the actual Marianne Pearl think of all this? “Iâ€™m delighted Angelina Jolie will be playing my role. I deeply admire her work.”
Honestly, what’s retarded to me about all this is that the BlackLooks.org blogger wrote this stuff in mid-July. Personally, I agree with very little of what she says, but why is it surfacing in mid-October? Is it because now we have photos from the set of Angie with dark skin (which appears to be perfectly tastefully done)? Are we vamping up the publicity process for the movie via a single blogger whose opinion, voiced briefly nearly three months ago, is being twisted to represent that of the entire African American community? Did no one else actually visit BlackLooks.org to read the blogger’s comments in context?
Don’t get me wrong: I’m still mad at Brad Pitt. When he walked out on Jennifer Aniston, I felt like he took all my fairytale-marriage-to-Brad-Pitt dreams along with him. You’d think they would have evaporated when he married Jennifer Aniston, and, consequently, not me, but somehow they persisted still. Like I could have my fairytale marriage to Brad Pitt through Rachel Green. I soaked up every minute of our power-couple union. What kind of person operates in such a distorted, delusional reality? I’ll tell you: it’s the same kind of person who writes a celebrity gossip blog.
So when he left us for that whorecake of a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador (that’s not even a real ambassador, I’ll have you know), I was pissed. It was totally uncool. I felt jilted, betrayed. I was mad at him.
Then he shows up on the cover of Esquire looking ridiculously hot and broody, and what does he say about his relationship with Captain Whorebreath?
“Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able.”
And when you set aside the fact that Brad Pitt just boldly advocated polygamy and child brides to a well-respected men’s publication, it’s really a very nice sentiment, and I may take his photo off my dartboard, just for this week.