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Angelina Jolie

3Angelina Jolie Should Eat

Angelina Jolie at International Women’s Media Foundation’s Courage in Journalism awards, Pictures, Photos

The remains of Mrs. Brad Pitt showed up at the International Women’s Media Foundation’s Courage in Journalism awards in Beverly Hills on Tuesday.

Angie, honey, I promise you can sufficiently appreciate the plight of the starving Africans without actually emulating their lifestyle.

Eat, dear.

October 31, 2007 at 7:10 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Angelina Jolie

9Quotables

Jon Voight at Premiere of Things We Lost in the Fire

“I find it very heartbreaking that my children want to paint a bad guy portrait of me. I feel it comes from their inability to let go of years of programmed anger from their mother, who understandably felt quite hurt when we divorced. In all truth, I tried to give him and their mother continuous love and support and large sums of money. God knows, for years I’ve tried to mend this relationship. Perhaps the trauma of their mother’s passing has made it worse.”

Angelina Jolie’s estranged father, Jon Voight, in a statement, after son James Haven told Marie Claire that “he put my mom through years of mental abuse.”

October 17, 2007 at 6:30 am by Evil Beet

5Angelina Jolie Picks Up Maddox from School: Part IXXCM

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Seriously, this has been, like, an epic event in photojournalism. I swear there are pics of Angie getting this kid from school every single day.

What’s left of Angelina Jolie picked up her son from the Lycee Francais in Manhattan on Wednesday.

I’d also like to point out, Mom, that you can see her black bra through her shirt. So the next time you want to cluck at me for doing the same, I’d just like to say: “Brad Pitt’s girlfriend did it, too.”

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October 11, 2007 at 7:33 am by Evil Beet

1Angelina Jolie Has Got to Be Wearing a Padded Bra

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Angie and Brad are still out and about in NYC.

She’s soooo skinny, but look at those tits!

I don’t think she got implants or anything, but those breasts do not match those scrawny little arms.

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October 3, 2007 at 11:59 pm by Evil Beet

5Maddox Jolie-Pitt Must Think School is the Coolest Thing Ever

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Now that the Jolie-Pitts have enrolled their eldest in a ridiculously ritzy school on the Upper East Side — and refuse to have nannies take him to and from — the paparazzi know exactly where they can find these folks, day in and day out.

I do think it’s funny, though, how they go as a couple to pick him up, creating a paparazzi frenzy. I mean, really, guys, would it be all that big a deal to send a nanny in to get him? Or just have one of his teachers bring him out to the tinted-windowed car? Because Maddox Jolie-Pitt — not to mention the rest of his class — is going to have the most twisted idea about what school is. Okay, okay. When your elementary school costs $20K/year, you’re definitely going to have a twisted idea about what school is. But when your walk to and from school is basically the Oscars red carpet minus Joan Rivers? By the time he’s in third grade, Mad’s going to have to start taking a publicist with him to school to tell him which reporters to talk to and remind him who he’s wearing and who did his backpack. Giuliana DePandi’s gonna be all like, “I’m loving your JanSport. We’re really seeing that come back this season.” This kid’s spelling tests are going to run on Page Six. The entire staff of the Post is going to have to learn how to speak elementary French so they can weigh in on his book reports. I’m so excited.

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September 19, 2007 at 11:12 pm by Evil Beet

7OMG! It’s the Jolie-Pitts!

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Because Brad Pitt may get old, but photos of this family never, ever will. There have been a ton of photos of Brad, Angie and Maddox wandering around Manhattan lately, but none of the other kids. I wonder where they’re hiding.

Also: Angelina is a toothpick. I mean, she’s really just skin and bones.

I’d been hesitant about it for awhile, but I’m ready to say it now: there’s something really wrong with her. There’s an eating disorder or there’s a drug problem or both. She’s not okay.

September 14, 2007 at 12:19 am by Evil Beet