Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Angelina Jolie

Late-Night Links

Teri Hatcher had a lunch date with George Bush, Sr. I’m not sure which of them I feel more sorry for. [Faded Youth]

Lance and Reichen had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for some dude from Real World: Denver. [ICYDK]

Mischa and Cisco had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for that picture of his gigantic testicles that made the Internet rounds. [Cele|bitchy]

Breaking: Angelina Jolie is thin. [The Bosh]

Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling’s like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate]

Blah blah blah … Ryan O’Neal … blah blah son drunk … blah blah blah pregnant girlfriend battered … blah blah blah … Gloria Allred? Jesus. [TMZ]

Will Nicky Hilton face actual consequences for her participation in her sister’s bigoted video projects? Maybe. You know who won’t face actual consequences? Paris. Ever. [MollyGood]

Late-Night Links

Angelina Jolie’s mother passed away. [MollyGood]

Mariah Carey does Playboy. This is exactly what you wanted … in 1996. [DListed]

Matt Dillon doesn’t like Marilyn Manson because Manson once cut his pubes with scissors he’d borrowed from Dillon. It’s always something. [Agent Bedhead]

Mary-Kate isn’t anorexic, people, she’s blonde. [Celebslam]

Disney theme parks make their way into the gossip blogosphere for the first time since Lohan got trashed at Disneyland in July, with a series of Disney-themed ads featuring Beyonce, Scarlett and David Beckham. Lindsay is conspicuously absent, although she’s been photographed plenty coming to and from her own Wonderland. [popbytes]

Angelina Jolie Thinks Her Baby’s a “Blob”

After several years of relative silence, we have our good ol’, rambling, Billy-Bob’s-blood-in-a-vial-around-my-neck, yeah-we-just-humped-in-the-car, what-else-do-you-want-to-know Angelina Jolie back on the publicity circuit. She continues to give noteworthy interviews, and she doesn’t hold back.

Jolie gave an interview to the UK’s Elle magazine, and she talked about the different relationships she has with her children.

“I think I feel so much more for Madd and Zee because they’re survivors, they came through so much. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her…I met my other kids when they were 6 months old, they came with a personality. A newborn really is this…Yes, a blob! But now she’s starting to have a personality…I’m conscious that I have to make sure I don’t ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable.”

And, of course, she throws her usual salt in Jen Aniston’s wound while talking about Brad:

“We came together because we’re similar. We didn’t become similar after…He’s a really amazing father – he didn’t just become that around me. You could say he changed me. I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant. I’m the one that got knocked up! So if you look at it that way, it was me who had the reversal.”

Check out more highlights of the interview (including Jolie’s opinion on Madonna’s recent adoption) here.

Cleaning up the Weekend

Britney can’t figure out how to get her car to start and has to ask the paparazzi for help. [X17]

Mary-Kate Olsen’s body is now so malnourished it is unable to sustain the pigmentation in her hair. [Perez Hilton]

Matt Damon thinks the Bush twins ought to serve in Iraq. He and fellow four-star general Robert DeNiro were discussing the war for a segment of Hardball. [Glitterati]

Congratulations to Jillian Barberie! The Good Day LA host is expecting a baby. [Tabloid Whore]

Where has Jennifer Lopez been the past year? Well, aside from her inexplicable attendance at Tom Cruise’s wedding, she’s also been working on a Spanish-language album to be released early next year. Check out a sneak peak of the first single, “Que Hiciste.” [Just Jared]

Music producer J.R. Rotem, 31, fresh off his fling with Britney Spears, shows up at Koi holding hands with Hayden Panettiere, 17. [Dirty Laundry]

Angelina on Good Morning America

Check out the footage from her Diane Sawyer interview. Argh. I hate that she’s so completely likable now. I have to hand it to her, she’s really done a good job of turning this whole “evil homewrecking slut” thing into “look at me I wear cream and adopt African orphans and raise them in a stable home and speak about it eloquently while wearing flattering and age-appropriate eye make-up.”

Well played, Angie. Well played.

I also like her reference to “sliding doors,” which was, you’ll recall, the title of a film starring Brad’s former fiancee, Gwen Paltrow. A Freudian slip, mayhaps?

Angelina’s on the Pill

The Good Shephard has been very good indeed to the celebrity gossip community, as it’s forced Angelina Jolie to hit the interview circuit. Everywhere she stops she drives her skinny, beautiful, successful stake further into Jennifer Aniston’s heart. Yesterday’s brutalities took place on Good Morning America, where she shared with the world the trials and tribulations of adopting children from around the world and raising them with Brad Pitt.

“I want Mad (Maddox) to know that as our family grew and we all came together, we didn’t just start having children, biological children. Yes, we have Shiloh and it’s been a wonderful experience, but we want to find another brother or sister in the world for our family. I’m on the pill. You know, now the questions are more when you have a mixed-race family, do you balance the races so there’s another African person in the house for Z? So there’s another Asian person in the house for Mad? Shiloh has Brad and I she can look at. What’s best for the children as they grow? … We don’t just want to have different children from different countries. That’s not the point.”

She continues to rave about Pitt and the kids: “He really enjoys them. He woke up very, very early this morning and let me sleep in because I had this interview. … Dealing with the two girls and bottles and food, which is not easy to do, on his own, for quite a few hours this morning so I could rest. … He’s just a really great partner, a great, great man.”

Angelina added: “It must be really sad to be Jennifer. I mean, she’s all alone again, since Vince cheated on her with a sorority girl with teeth the size of my arm, and she’ll probably never get to have kids of her own, and it’s not like she’s made a half-decent movie, well, ever. If I were her I’d probably just kill myself. Take a bunch of pills or something. Just let it all end. Have I mentioned that Brad is a really wonderful man? We are so, so happy together. So happy. Sooooooo happy. Happy, happy, happy. HAPPY!”