Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Angelina Jolie

Brad and Angelina Spice Up the Salt Premiere

Hey you guys I bet I’m the only blogger on the planet who thought of that headline. Get it??? Because “salt” is kind of a “spice”? (Is salt actually a spice?)

Chicken Legs Jolie and someone who may or may not have been Brad Pitt (we cannot know for sure because he never takes off his damn sunglasses), hit up the big premiere of Salt, the summer blockbuster wherein Angelina Jolie continues to redefine the role of women in action flicks.

I guess all is well with Angie and her father again, because Jon Voight was present and accounted for, along with Angelina’s brother and pre-Brad make-out partner James Haven.

Angie stopped to take photos with fans (really, really cute — because the fans couldn’t cross the rope, Angie took their cameras and held them up to take the photos herself, the way you do with all your girlfriends in a bar when you don’t trust any of the nearby douchebags to touch your camera), chatted with costar Liev Schreiber, and greeted Naomi Watts with a big hug. Kristin Cavallari was inexplicably there (good publicist, I suppose), but luckily Angelina Jolie didn’t take a photo with her (the world would explode).

All things considered, Angelina looks great here. She rarely does these red carpets anymore, but she looks the happiest I’ve seen her look in a long time. She’s still incomparably beautiful, but it’s been gradually turning into a more mature sort of beauty and less of a gasp! sexpot! kind of beauty. I like that for her. I do wish she’d eat a little more, but, all in all, I really enjoyed going through this set of pics. It’s always nice to see Angelina doing her thing.

Love It Or Leave It: Brad Pitt’s Baby Face

Remember when Brad Pitt starred in Legends of the Fall? God, that was a great movie. Definitely one of my all-time favorites. He was so stinking hot, with his sun-kissed skin, his bleached-out hair, and his flashing blue eyes. I was totally, totally in love. I even had the movie posters in my bedroom, back when it was appropriate to still hang posters in my bedroom. I think if I hung huge photos in my bedroom these days, I might get some pretty strange looks, but I wouldn’t care. I’d have a life-sized cut out of Adrien Brody, like, stapled to my ceiling, and we’d have long, in-depth conversations every night.  You know, if I were eleven again.

Anyway. It’s apparent that Angelina has, indeed, sucked up the majority of Pitt’s lifeblood, because yes, while he looks much better without the pube farm he had growing on his face for awhile, he still doesn’t look amazing. And I’m not saying that because he’s gotten older — he just doesn’t look well. Still hot, still totally bankable, but there’s something different there, and I think I know what it is: look very, very closely underneath Brad’s exposed dimple … I think I see vampire fang scars. Lifeblood. Angelina. Succubus.

Angelina’s Inner Thigh Tattoo is All For Brad

Eat out your heart out, Jennifer Aniston.

Jolie’s been stumping a lot for her latest movie, Salt, and was recently photographed for Vanity Fair, who exposed the actress’s newest ink — a script tattoo on her inner thigh. MTV news recently interviewed the star and asked her outright what the deal was with the new tattoo:

“Um, it’s for Brad,” Jolie demurred with a smile.

What does it say? I don’t know. I think it’s in a different language, the photo’s really blurry, and it’s in an unfortunate font.

But I’m all for it! I love tattoos, and Jolie’s got some pretty sweet ones. My most recent one is on my back, and that was a script tattoo as well. Plus, it’s in French. I can say, I’m with Angelina when she says that she likes to keep her tats private, and if that means by inking them in a language that’s not native to the area in which you reside, so be it. I dig it, I did it, I condone it.

(Oh, and the tattoo probably says something along the lines of, “You better enjoy yourself when you’re down here, Brad, or I’ll cut your balls off with a rusty watering can.”)