Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie on the Cover of Vanity Fair

phhotos picslina jolie pictures vanity fair cover photos pics

It must really suck to be Angelina Jolie. All of the swanky magazine covers, and all of these adorable kids that follow her around and idolize her, and then you have that man of hers, Brad Pitt, who earns just as much as she does. Ugh. I just couldn’t imagine waking up to him morning after morning after morning, could you? Jeez. What a downer. Plus to be so wildly attractive and sought-after for films. What a bleak, awful existence.

Angelina was interviewed this time for Vanity Fair, where she talked about her fame, her family, and her future with Brad Pitt. On constant speculation of the star’s every move:

[Despite recent reports, Angelina Jolie assures Vanity Fair contributing editor Rich Cohen that there is “no secret wedding” in the works for her and Pitt.] “I’m not pregnant. I’m not adopting at the moment.”

On how writing and directing her own film (The Land of Blood and Honey) changes the way she views other directors:

“Brad thinks I’m going to be a nightmare. I had such a good experience he thinks I’m going to be impatient with directors, which I already am. I get impatient with people working on a film that have their head in their hands like it’s the most complicated thing in the world.”

On Brad’s “help” during the script-editing process:

“He’d come in and say what he liked or what he didn’t understand. Like any woman, I would listen to most of it and fight a few things. He’s been so supportive. But it’s hard to separate the person that loves you from the critic, so I don’t think he’s a fair judge. People will judge for themselves. I think if you make a good movie people walk away arguing.”

Here’s another photo from the shoot. I mean, isn’t this picture just awful?

photo of angelina jolie vanity fair photo shoot pictures photos pics 2011

See? Case and point. Poor, poor multi-talented, grossly gorgeous, and unfathomably blessed Angelina. What a life it must be, friends.

Forbes Releases Top-Earning Celebrity Couples List

photo of forbes highest paid couple 2011 pictures photos tom brady and gisele bundchen pics

I don’t know about you guys, but these lists always intrigue the crap out of me. These celebrity “power couples,” as they’re often referred to, bring in, like, unbelievable wads of cash annually. Jaw-dropping amounts.

I mean, this kind of money is money that I can’t even fathom having, and the craziest part is that there are people out there – both single and partnered up – who earn, like, quadruple this.

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady topped the list this year, bringing in just around $76 million bucks. And that’s just the reported income. You can’t tell me that there isn’t some under-the-table stuff going on somewhere there.

The rest of the list is as follows:

2. Jay-Z and Beyonce – $72 million

photo of jay z and beyonce forbes highest paid list pics

3. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – $50 million

photo of angelina jolie and brad pitt pictures photos forbes highest paid list

Jump in for the rest of the list –

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You Know Who Should Eat More? ANGELINA JOLIE.

photo of angelina jolie skinny anorexic before and after photos pics

Now before all the weight-weirdos get all bent out of shape because I’m not “accepting” Angelina just the way she is, let it be said that I’m not insinuating that sweet old Angelina here looks bad – at all. I’m merely saying that she’s looked <i>better in the past when she had a little bit more meat on her bones. I know she’s naturally on the slender side, but it wouldn’t hurt to change it up for this year, you know?

I still think she’s one of the most beautiful women to ever exist in the history of … existence, but ffs. She’s going to be getting up there in age at some point and women of a certain age need to take care of their bones and stuff. Hers are looking a little pointy and sharp here and there, and she looks like she’d positively shatter if she accidentally fell down a flight of steps.

Oh Angelina. I’m just looking out for you, girl. Put on a few pounds and get some Boniva, OK?