Anderson Cooper’s batting a thousand lately – hating on Chris Brown (and rightfully so, ugh), and now he’s throwing the heat down on Kate Gosselin as well for being a complete and utter C-U-next Tuesday.
I’m not going to use the word “hate” … Well, no, OK, I suppose I am. Honestly? I think I kind of hate Kate Gosselin – she’s a HUGE BITCH. I hope she explodes, her kids go to a home where they’re taken care of and loved and not screamed at twenty-four hours a day, and everyone – EVERYONE – forgets she ever existed. This woman is going to die bitter and alone, because she can’t do anything but alienate those around her. Thanks, Kate fans, for making this asshole famous. Seriously.
September 7, 2011 at 9:30 am by Sarah
Remember that precious giggle fit that Anderson Cooper had last week? You loved it, right? How could you not? Anderson Cooper is the most adorable man that the news world has ever known, and the only thing that could even possibly come close to his giggles is his explanation of his giggles:
“I don’t know what happened with the giggling. I mean, I’ve always giggled like a 13 year-old girl at a Justin Bieber meet and greet. There’s nothing I can do about it but I’ve never not been able to stop. I’m a little stunned by how many people have seen that video. I went to bed telling myself, ‘I doubt anyone will notice the giggle fit.’ I woke up and in the elevator the first thing my building super said to me was, ‘What’s wrong with your laugh?’ It could be worse: I could have a viral video in which I throw up on a guest or drunkenly eat a hamburger on a bathroom floor. Not that I’ve ever done either of those things. Not yet at least.”
Oh, Anderson. Never change.
August 24, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Emily
Are you ill? Come bathe yourself in the healing glee of Anderson Cooper. Sad? Let Anderson gently caress your cares away. Tired, troubled, or just plain apathetic? No matter, Anderson Cooper’s giggles can allow you to start anew, fresh and clean and happy, if you only accept him into your heart.
August 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
How sassy is Anderson Cooper? So sassy, right? I adore this man, I really do, and I always love it when people tell it like it is, so what choice did I have but to simply rejoice when Anderson didn’t hold back about how ridiculous it is that Chris Brown is acting in a romantic comedy?
Here are Anderson’s true words:
“Ladies and gentlemen, particularly ladies, Chris Brown has been cast in a movie. And not just any movie, it’s a romantic comedy based on a self-help book about relationships. And I, for one, can not imagine why this did not happen sooner because if there’s one thing you can say about Chris Brown, who’s currently on probation for viciously assaulting his then-girlfriend Rihanna, he just oozes romance.”
Anderson also went on to describe some of Chris Brown’s methods of apologizing by saying ”Check out this love poem he posted on YouTube five months after he repeatedly punched her in the face and threatened to kill her while her mouth was filled with blood.”
Chris Brown’s response?
“Yeah, I guess I did beat my girl pretty bad, huh? LOL!!!”
August 10, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Oh, beautiful Anderson Cooper, of course Harry Potter would love you. You are a special brand of magic all by yourself.
Right, but remember how Daniel Radcliffe is starring in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying? Anderson Cooper is going to be there too. Well, he’s not going to physically be there – he’s playing the Narrator, which is just a recording – but his essence is going to be there, and could Broadway really handle more than that?
This is like a glorious blend of everything I find beautiful in this world: musical theatre, magic, and seriously attractive older dudes. The show opens on February 26th, so mark your calendars and don’t be surprised if the entire world crumbles under the weight of too much wonderful.
January 19, 2011 at 11:30 am by Emily
“No! The next Anderson, yes. But he will not be the next Oprah.”
- Oprah Winfrey, responding to whether or not Anderson Cooper’s daytime talkshow will make him the next Oprah Winfrey, during a Q&A session about the OWN Network yesterday.
In print this looks pretty snotty on Oprah’s part. Well, snotty in the way that only Oprah Winfrey can get away with being because she’s otherwise the closest living thing to Christ on our planet. The heir of, “No one will ever replace me, not even the guy who saved that Haitian boy and is also a closeted homosexual.”
I’m going to go ahead and assume that she means that everyone’s such a special snowflake that Anderson Cooper could never replace her because he’s too uniquely him to be anyone but himself.