Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Amy Poehler

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett Are Getting A Divorce

A photo of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett

From People:

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are calling it quits.

The comedic stars, who wed in August 2003, are ending their marriage, a rep for both actors confirms to PEOPLE.

The pair have seen happier times.

In 2005, the Parks and Recreation star, 40, told PEOPLE, “He makes me feel very safe. You can have a lot of adventures if you have someone by your side.”

Arnett, 42, who currently stars on NBC’s Up All Night, said that he “immediately had a talent crush” on Poehler.

“The first time I saw her onstage, I said, ‘I’m gonna marry that girl,’ ” he told PEOPLE in 2009.

The couple are parents to two sons –Archie, 3½, and Abel, 2.

This marriage was the first for Poehler. Arnett was previously married to Penelope Ann Miller.

This is the worst. This is just the absolute worst. This is worse than the time that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson broke up (or whatever). This is worse than the time that Heidi Klum and Seal got a divorce. This is even worse than both times my parents got divorced. Some things are just supposed to be forever, and one of those things was the beautiful, hilarious love between Amy Poehler and Will Arnett.

I guess I’ll see some of you at the funeral tonight. The funeral of True Love. I’ll hold the wake at my house. And by “wake,” I obviously mean the ice cream party.

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You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.

Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

- Now we know for sure: Lea Michele is starting to behave like a real diva.

- Chris Brown is kind of a dickwad—a “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of dickwad.

- Stars who hate each other: Rob Lowe and Amy Poehler, Evan Rachel Wood and Kate Winslet.

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Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch Get Jersified

What do you need to do to keep making Jersey Shore jokes freakin’ hilarious? Get the funniest people ever, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch and Abby Elliott together, and that’s exactly what Jimmy Fallon did on his show last night.

It’s true, I’m over the Jersey Shore jokes (We get it! They’re dumb, orange and gross!) but this video is hilarious. Of course it is, the Goddesses of Comedy, Tina and Amy, kill everything they do. They can drop the mic on the stage of life, right about now. They’ve given us so much already.

Rachel Dratch never fails to make me laugh out loud, and is it just me, or does Abby Elliott do the best impressions ever? Girl’s mad talented.

Amy Poehler: Cool Mom

Everyone I know already worships Amy Poehler, but these photos give you another reason. This is Amy out in NYC today, carrying some groceries and entertaining the paparazzi shooting her with funny faces. The kind of remarkable thing about these photos is that homegirl just gave birth ten days ago to her second son, Abel James. She and her husband, Will Arnett, have another son at home, Archie, and you know that those boys are the luckiest kids ever. Amy’s character in Mean Girls was totally accurate about her real life self, she is a cool mom. Also, I kind of like that she’s not anorexic looking right after giving birth. Amy is naturally an extremely tiny person and to see that she’s not one of those celebrities that slims down the second she leaves the hospital is kind of reassuring. You know, as a human.

Guess Who’s Pregnant?

It’s actually kind of a trick question, because both of these ladies are pregnant. But Amy Poehler, that’s whatever, she already had a kid a while back, but Rachel Dratch, that’s where the story is.

Rachel Dratch is 44, the baby (her first) is due in September, and there’s no word yet on who the father is. My guess is that she went and got artificially knocked up before she lost that chance to menopause, and good for her. I absolutely love Rachel Dratch. She was definitely one of the funnier cast members of SNL, but unlike her costar Amy Poehler, she kind of tragically faded away after she left the show (ok, there were a few guest-starring roles, but I don’t care about Wizard of Waverly Place, and neither should you).  Even though this isn’t an acting gig or anything, I’m glad to see that she seems to be doing well.

How about you guys?  Rachel Dratch is awesome, right?

Wouldn’t You Try Harder For Something Called ‘The Critic’s Choice Awards’?

Aight, aight. So I always have to admit whenever I critique people’s fashion that I really have no business doing so. I am wearing flared jeans as I write this. Yes, flared. They’re old and they’re really comfortable and you would wear them too if you didn’t have a will to live. ANYWAY! That being said, I was pretty disappointed across the board by the dress selections last night at The Critic’s Choice Awards. With the exception of a couple (Heather Graham, Emily Blunt, Amy Poehler), everyone looked like they bought their dress of the rack at Nordstrom in the really fancy section last minute. Lots of ill-fitting garments, lots of things that looked like last season’s trends or generally unstylish (from the dress to the shoes, I beg you to tell me: What the fuck is Sandy B. wearing in the photo above? Are those hooves?) Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh, or maybe I should consider that the Golden Globes are on Sunday and everyone’s saving their pretty for that, but you let me know what you think in the comments…

Amy Says “Goodbye” to SNL and I Say “Hello” to Lexapro

Amy Poehler wasn’t supposed to be back at SNL after the birth of her son (shudder) Archie.  But she did come back last night for one last appearance and to say goodbye.  Here is the clip.  I’ve come to a realization.  I’m obviously completely unbalanced because I got choked up a little bit watching the beginning of this.  And if I’m crying during a Saturday Night Live cast member farewell segment, it really makes me wonder why I’m not, like, medicated.