1They Made A Porn Version Of Parks & Recreation

Amy Poehler‘s been pornified. Her TV show, Parks & Recreation, was made into its very own porn version called Porks & Recreation. I gotta say, the chick who plays her Leslie Knope character has her voice down, and the guy who plays Nick Offerman’s Ron Swanson character is A+.

There’s no comment yet from Poehler or anyone involved on the show. They HAVE to see this. Do you think it can be as good as the Seinfeld porno starring James Deen? Yeah, there was a Seinfeld porno, that happened. Deen played Seinfeld.

Here’s the trailer, with absolutely 0% nudity, porn, or porny language. Still, watch at your own risk.

And here are some photos of Ms. Poehler from the White Horse Correspondents’ Dinner this week. Thankfully Tom Brokaw didn’t have to chase Lohan out of there with a rake, while screaming about his lawn. I (kind of?) like her dress, but not the hair and makeup. Why is it always like that with this chick? If it’s not the dress, it’s the shoes; if it’s not the hair, it’s the dress, and so on and so forth until we all die.

May 1, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

12Amy Poehler Gives Really Great Advice

We’re going to start the weekend with an earnest post, so get ready: Amy Poehler is wonderful. She’s funny, smart and just an all-around lovely human being, which this world sometimes seems like a small miracle, especially in Hollywood. She’s a star who’s earned every single bit of success she has and instead of getting big-headed about it, she does things like start an online web series answering questions from young girls in video form.

Here’s the latest episode, in which Amy talks about the importance of apologising:

I don’t have words for how much I love Amy Poehler, and this series is lovely not just for teenagers, but for adults, as well. We could all take a few notes from her book.

On another note, you may have noticed that Bobby hasn’t been around for the past few days. Unfortunately she’s not working with us anymore, but we’ve got a fantastic writer who will be starting with us on Monday and we hope to keep her around for a long time to come. She’s got all the hot gossip, as well – so hot that she’s using a pen name. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I’ll be with you again this weekend for whatever nonsense pops up in the news.

February 8, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Jennifer

4Amy Poehler and Tina Fey Are Hosting the Golden Globes, So Here’s a Promo

If you guys didn’t already know, Tina and Amy are hosting this year’s Golden Globe Awards, a show that’s been doing it’s thing for seventy seasons, and while the promo isn’t exactly the greatest, I’m completely on board with Amy and Tina being chosen as this year’s hosts. I think there’s some pretty funny shit in store for us to behold.

Here’s a list of nominees, by the way—my personal selections are in bold:

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. ARGO
b. DJANGO UNCHAINED
c. LIFE OF PI
d. LINCOLN
e. ZERO DARK THIRTY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. Jessica Chastain, ZERO DARK THIRTY
b. Marion Cotillard, RUST AND BONE
c. Helen Mirren, HITCHCOCK
d. Naomi Watts, THE IMPOSSIBLE
e. Rachel Weisz, THE DEEP BLUE SEA

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. Daniel Day-Lewis, LINCOLN
b. Richard Gere, ARBITRAGE
c. John Hawkes, THE SESSIONS
d. Joaquin Phoenix, THE MASTER
e. Denzel Washington, FLIGHT

BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL ?
b. LES MISERABLES
c. MOONRISE KINGDOM
d. SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
e. SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Emily Blunt, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
b. Judi Dench, THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL
c. Jennifer Lawrence, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
d. Maggie Smith, QUARTET
e. Meryl Streep, HOPE SPRINGS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Jack Black, BERNIE
b. Bradley Cooper, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
c. Hugh Jackman, LES MISERABLES
d. Ewan McGregor, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
e. Bill Murray, HYDE PARK ON HUDSON

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
a. BRAVE
b. FRANKENWEENIE
c. HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA
d. RISE OF THE GUARDIANS
e. WRECK-IT RALPH

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
a. AMOUR (AUSTRIA)
b. A ROYAL AFFAIR (DENMARK)
c. THE INTOUCHABLES (FRANCE)
d. KON-TIKI (NORWAY/UK/DENMARK)
e. RUST AND BONE (FRANCE)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
a. Amy Adams, THE MASTER
b. Sally Field, LINCOLN
c. Anne Hathaway, LES MISERABLES
d. Helen Hunt, THE SESSIONS
e. Nicole Kidman, THE PAPERBOY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
a. Alan Arkin, ARGO
b. Leonardo DiCaprio, DJANGO UNCHAINED
c. Philip Seymour Hoffman, THE MASTER
d. Tommy Lee Jones, LINCOLN
e. Christoph Waltz, DJANGO UNCHAINED

BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
a. Ben Affleck, ARGO
b. Kathryn Bigelow, ZERO DARK THIRTY
c. Ang Lee, LIFE OF PI
d. Steven Spielberg, LINCOLN
e. Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED

BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
a. Mark Boal, ZERO DARK THIRTY
b. Tony Kushner, LINCOLN
c. David O. Russell, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
d. Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED
e. Chris Terrio, ARGO

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
a. Mychael Danna, LIFE OF PI
b. Alexandre Desplat, ARGO
c. Dario Marianelli, ANNA KARENINA
d. Tom Tykwer, CLOUD ATLAS
e. John Williams, LINCOLN

BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
a. “FOR YOU” — ACT OF VALOR
b. “NOT RUNNING ANYMORE”—STAND UP GUYS
c. “SAFE & SOUND” — THE HUNGER GAMES
d. “SKYFALL”—SKYFALL
e. “SUDDENLY” — LES MISERABLES

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. BREAKING BAD
b. BOARDWALK EMPIRE
c. DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
d. HOMELAND
e. THE NEWSROOM

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. Connie Britton, NASHVILLE
b. Glenn Close, DAMAGES
c. Claire Danes, HOMELAND
d. Michelle Dockery, DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
e. Julianna Margulies, THE GOOD WIFE

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. Steve Buscemi, BOARDWALK EMPIRE
b. Bryan Cranston, BREAKING BAD
c. Jeff Daniels, THE NEWSROOM
d. Jon Hamm, MAD MEN
e. Damian Lewis, HOMELAND

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. THE BIG BANG THEORY
b. EPISODES
c. GIRLS
d. MODERN FAMILY
e. SMASH

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Zooey Deshanel, NEW GIRL
b. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, VEEP
c. Lena Dunham, GIRLS
d. Tina Fey, 30 ROCK
e. Amy Poehler, PARKS AND RECREATION

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Alec Baldwin, 30 ROCK
b. Don Cheadle, HOUSE OF LIES
c. Louis C.K., LOUIE
d. Matt LeBlanc, EPISODES
e. Jim Parsons, THE BIG BANG THEORY

BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. GAME CHANGE
b. THE GIRL
c. HATFIELDS & MCCOYS
d. THE HOUR
e. POLITICAL ANIMALS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Nicole Kidman, HEMINGWAY & GELLHORN
b. Jessica Lange, AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM
c. Sienna Miller, THE GIRL
d. Julianne Moore, GAME CHANGE
e. Sigourney Weaver, POLITICAL ANIMALS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Kevin Costner, HATFIELDS & MCCOYS
b. Benedict Cumberbatch, SHERLOCK (MASTERPIECE)
c. Woody Harrelson, GAME CHANGE
d. Toby Jones, THE GIRL
e. Clive Owen, HEMINGWAY & GELLHORN

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Hayden Panettiere, NASHVILLE
b. Archie Panjabi, THE GOOD WIFE
c. Sarah Paulson, GAME CHANGE
d. Maggie Smith, DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
e. Sofia Vergara, MODERN FAMILY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Max Greenfield, NEW GIRL
b. Ed Harris, GAME CHANGE
c. Danny Huston, MAGIC CITY
d. Mandy Patinkin, HOMELAND
e. Eric Stonestreet, MODERN FAMILY

Go ahead—talk amongst yourselves.

December 14, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah

6Amy Poehler and Will Arnett Are Getting A Divorce

From People:

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are calling it quits.

The comedic stars, who wed in August 2003, are ending their marriage, a rep for both actors confirms to PEOPLE.

The pair have seen happier times.

In 2005, the Parks and Recreation star, 40, told PEOPLE, “He makes me feel very safe. You can have a lot of adventures if you have someone by your side.”

Arnett, 42, who currently stars on NBC’s Up All Night, said that he “immediately had a talent crush” on Poehler.

“The first time I saw her onstage, I said, ‘I’m gonna marry that girl,’ ” he told PEOPLE in 2009.

The couple are parents to two sons –Archie, 3½, and Abel, 2.

This marriage was the first for Poehler. Arnett was previously married to Penelope Ann Miller.

This is the worst. This is just the absolute worst. This is worse than the time that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson broke up (or whatever). This is worse than the time that Heidi Klum and Seal got a divorce. This is even worse than both times my parents got divorced. Some things are just supposed to be forever, and one of those things was the beautiful, hilarious love between Amy Poehler and Will Arnett.

I guess I’ll see some of you at the funeral tonight. The funeral of True Love. I’ll hold the wake at my house. And by “wake,” I obviously mean the ice cream party.

September 7, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily

1MORE Blind Items REVEALED: Liev Schreiber Punched Sean Penn

You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.

Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

- Now we know for sure: Lea Michele is starting to behave like a real diva.

- Chris Brown is kind of a dickwad—a “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of dickwad.

- Stars who hate each other: Rob Lowe and Amy Poehler, Evan Rachel Wood and Kate Winslet.

(more…)

January 2, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Jenn

0Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch Get Jersified

What do you need to do to keep making Jersey Shore jokes freakin’ hilarious? Get the funniest people ever, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch and Abby Elliott together, and that’s exactly what Jimmy Fallon did on his show last night.

It’s true, I’m over the Jersey Shore jokes (We get it! They’re dumb, orange and gross!) but this video is hilarious. Of course it is, the Goddesses of Comedy, Tina and Amy, kill everything they do. They can drop the mic on the stage of life, right about now. They’ve given us so much already.

Rachel Dratch never fails to make me laugh out loud, and is it just me, or does Abby Elliott do the best impressions ever? Girl’s mad talented.

May 6, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Molls