Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Amy Poehler

Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week!

Welcome back, y’all, to Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week! Check out last week’s looks (or don’t, it’s your life) and then check these out and tell us who your celeb pick is for BEST, WORST, and WTF of the week!

 

Amy-Poehler

Amy Poehler never knows what length of dress to wear. She always finds one that is exactly the wrong length and cuts her off. This would be so much cuter if it was short.

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Best, Worst, And WTF Of Golden Globes Fashion

Jennifer Lawrence at her most Jennifer Lawrenciest.

Jennifer Lawrence at her most Jennifer Lawrenciest.

The Golden Globes happened last night and man, what a trainwreck! People were drunk and cursing all over the place. And Clooney wasn’t even there.

But you know what was there? The best, worst, and most WTF celebrity fashion had to offer. Let’s take a look through all these GG outfits and pick out which ones were deserving of BEST, WORST, and WTF.

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Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Gave Good Monologue at the Golden Globes

tina fey amy poehler

Unfortunately, the opening monologue was the longest we got to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at last night’s Golden Globes performance (and they’re the only Golden Globes post you’ll get around here until Catherine’s fashion post later today), but boy, did they make it worth it. These ladies know funny, and they had some amazing jokes in there. The full video is below, but in case you’re at work and can’t watch or just don’t feel like it (hey, I’m lazy too, I understand), I’ll put a few highlights below. The whole thing really is worth watching, though.

  • Meryl Streep is here. She was so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great roles for Meryl Streeps over 60.”
  • “[The film] is up for several awards this year. If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties.”
  • Woody Allen is the recipient of this year’s Cecil B DeMille Award, just a few years after Martin Scorsese won. I assume the award is for tiniest man with the biggest glasses.”
  • Matthew McConaughey did great work this year in Dallas Buyers Club. He lost 45lbs for the role… which is what actresses call ‘being in a movie’.”
  • (On Gravity): “George Clooney would rather float off into space and die than spend time with a woman his own age.”

All in all, the broadcast actually went pretty quickly, which is a blessing when you’re talking about a three hour show. What were the best bits? What did you hate? Jacqueline Bisset being a total weirdo (too weird for Mia Farrow, as she pointed out on her Twitter account) was a lowlight, but Emma Thompson being equally as wasted and yet still totally graceful was divine.

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Will Arnett Is Afraid To Get Back Into The Dating Game

will arnett

Will Arnett and Amy Poehler broke the collective heart of the comedy loving world when they ended their nine year marriage late last year, but you know what they say – shit happens. While Amy has been romantically linked to several people since then, Will has kept a relatively low profile, and it seems there’s a good reason for it: he’s scared of dating.

From Details:

DETAILS: How has the dating game changed since you were last out there?
Will Arnett: Well, I’m not officially dating.

DETAILS: Are you afraid to get back out there?
Will Arnett: Yeah, I don’t know what you do. Do you put out an announcement in the trades? I’M DATING! It all seems very scary to me, to be honest. So I’m kind of keeping pretty close counsel right now. Until I . . . yeah.

Aw, bless him. He seems like a nice guy and the comedy world – assuming he wants to stay in his peer group – is massive, so I’m sure he has lots of options. Either way, I’m sure he’ll find a new lady soon.

They Made A Porn Version Of Parks & Recreation

porn parks and rec

Amy Poehler‘s been pornified. Her TV show, Parks & Recreation, was made into its very own porn version called Porks & Recreation. I gotta say, the chick who plays her Leslie Knope character has her voice down, and the guy who plays Nick Offerman’s Ron Swanson character is A+.

There’s no comment yet from Poehler or anyone involved on the show. They HAVE to see this. Do you think it can be as good as the Seinfeld porno starring James Deen? Yeah, there was a Seinfeld porno, that happened. Deen played Seinfeld.

Here’s the trailer, with absolutely 0% nudity, porn, or porny language. Still, watch at your own risk.

 

 

And here are some photos of Ms. Poehler from the White Horse Correspondents’ Dinner this week. Thankfully Tom Brokaw didn’t have to chase Lohan out of there with a rake, while screaming about his lawn. I (kind of?) like her dress, but not the hair and makeup. Why is it always like that with this chick? If it’s not the dress, it’s the shoes; if it’s not the hair, it’s the dress, and so on and so forth until we all die.

amy poehler white house

Amy Poehler Gives Really Great Advice

We’re going to start the weekend with an earnest post, so get ready: Amy Poehler is wonderful. She’s funny, smart and just an all-around lovely human being, which this world sometimes seems like a small miracle, especially in Hollywood. She’s a star who’s earned every single bit of success she has and instead of getting big-headed about it, she does things like start an online web series answering questions from young girls in video form.

Here’s the latest episode, in which Amy talks about the importance of apologising:

I don’t have words for how much I love Amy Poehler, and this series is lovely not just for teenagers, but for adults, as well. We could all take a few notes from her book.

On another note, you may have noticed that Bobby hasn’t been around for the past few days. Unfortunately she’s not working with us anymore, but we’ve got a fantastic writer who will be starting with us on Monday and we hope to keep her around for a long time to come. She’s got all the hot gossip, as well – so hot that she’s using a pen name. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I’ll be with you again this weekend for whatever nonsense pops up in the news.

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey Are Hosting the Golden Globes, So Here’s a Promo

If you guys didn’t already know, Tina and Amy are hosting this year’s Golden Globe Awards, a show that’s been doing it’s thing for seventy seasons, and while the promo isn’t exactly the greatest, I’m completely on board with Amy and Tina being chosen as this year’s hosts. I think there’s some pretty funny shit in store for us to behold.

Here’s a list of nominees, by the way—my personal selections are in bold:

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. ARGO
b. DJANGO UNCHAINED
c. LIFE OF PI
d. LINCOLN
e. ZERO DARK THIRTY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. Jessica Chastain, ZERO DARK THIRTY
b. Marion Cotillard, RUST AND BONE
c. Helen Mirren, HITCHCOCK
d. Naomi Watts, THE IMPOSSIBLE
e. Rachel Weisz, THE DEEP BLUE SEA

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. Daniel Day-Lewis, LINCOLN
b. Richard Gere, ARBITRAGE
c. John Hawkes, THE SESSIONS
d. Joaquin Phoenix, THE MASTER
e. Denzel Washington, FLIGHT

BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL ?
b. LES MISERABLES
c. MOONRISE KINGDOM
d. SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
e. SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Emily Blunt, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
b. Judi Dench, THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL
c. Jennifer Lawrence, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
d. Maggie Smith, QUARTET
e. Meryl Streep, HOPE SPRINGS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Jack Black, BERNIE
b. Bradley Cooper, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
c. Hugh Jackman, LES MISERABLES
d. Ewan McGregor, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
e. Bill Murray, HYDE PARK ON HUDSON

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
a. BRAVE
b. FRANKENWEENIE
c. HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA
d. RISE OF THE GUARDIANS
e. WRECK-IT RALPH

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
a. AMOUR (AUSTRIA)
b. A ROYAL AFFAIR (DENMARK)
c. THE INTOUCHABLES (FRANCE)
d. KON-TIKI (NORWAY/UK/DENMARK)
e. RUST AND BONE (FRANCE)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
a. Amy Adams, THE MASTER
b. Sally Field, LINCOLN
c. Anne Hathaway, LES MISERABLES
d. Helen Hunt, THE SESSIONS
e. Nicole Kidman, THE PAPERBOY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
a. Alan Arkin, ARGO
b. Leonardo DiCaprio, DJANGO UNCHAINED
c. Philip Seymour Hoffman, THE MASTER
d. Tommy Lee Jones, LINCOLN
e. Christoph Waltz, DJANGO UNCHAINED

BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
a. Ben Affleck, ARGO
b. Kathryn Bigelow, ZERO DARK THIRTY
c. Ang Lee, LIFE OF PI
d. Steven Spielberg, LINCOLN
e. Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED

BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
a. Mark Boal, ZERO DARK THIRTY
b. Tony Kushner, LINCOLN
c. David O. Russell, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
d. Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED
e. Chris Terrio, ARGO

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
a. Mychael Danna, LIFE OF PI
b. Alexandre Desplat, ARGO
c. Dario Marianelli, ANNA KARENINA
d. Tom Tykwer, CLOUD ATLAS
e. John Williams, LINCOLN

BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
a. “FOR YOU” — ACT OF VALOR
b. “NOT RUNNING ANYMORE”—STAND UP GUYS
c. “SAFE & SOUND” — THE HUNGER GAMES
d. “SKYFALL”—SKYFALL
e. “SUDDENLY” — LES MISERABLES

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. BREAKING BAD
b. BOARDWALK EMPIRE
c. DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
d. HOMELAND
e. THE NEWSROOM

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. Connie Britton, NASHVILLE
b. Glenn Close, DAMAGES
c. Claire Danes, HOMELAND
d. Michelle Dockery, DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
e. Julianna Margulies, THE GOOD WIFE

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. Steve Buscemi, BOARDWALK EMPIRE
b. Bryan Cranston, BREAKING BAD
c. Jeff Daniels, THE NEWSROOM
d. Jon Hamm, MAD MEN
e. Damian Lewis, HOMELAND

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. THE BIG BANG THEORY
b. EPISODES
c. GIRLS
d. MODERN FAMILY
e. SMASH

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Zooey Deshanel, NEW GIRL
b. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, VEEP
c. Lena Dunham, GIRLS
d. Tina Fey, 30 ROCK
e. Amy Poehler, PARKS AND RECREATION

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Alec Baldwin, 30 ROCK
b. Don Cheadle, HOUSE OF LIES
c. Louis C.K., LOUIE
d. Matt LeBlanc, EPISODES
e. Jim Parsons, THE BIG BANG THEORY

BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. GAME CHANGE
b. THE GIRL
c. HATFIELDS & MCCOYS
d. THE HOUR
e. POLITICAL ANIMALS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Nicole Kidman, HEMINGWAY & GELLHORN
b. Jessica Lange, AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM
c. Sienna Miller, THE GIRL
d. Julianne Moore, GAME CHANGE
e. Sigourney Weaver, POLITICAL ANIMALS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Kevin Costner, HATFIELDS & MCCOYS
b. Benedict Cumberbatch, SHERLOCK (MASTERPIECE)
c. Woody Harrelson, GAME CHANGE
d. Toby Jones, THE GIRL
e. Clive Owen, HEMINGWAY & GELLHORN

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Hayden Panettiere, NASHVILLE
b. Archie Panjabi, THE GOOD WIFE
c. Sarah Paulson, GAME CHANGE
d. Maggie Smith, DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
e. Sofia Vergara, MODERN FAMILY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Max Greenfield, NEW GIRL
b. Ed Harris, GAME CHANGE
c. Danny Huston, MAGIC CITY
d. Mandy Patinkin, HOMELAND
e. Eric Stonestreet, MODERN FAMILY

Go ahead—talk amongst yourselves.