Today's Evil Beet Gossip
American Idol

Yup, Adam Lambert’s Gay

If you had any doubts about the Idol Top-12er’s sexuality, they can be put to rest right now.

I have no idea when or where this took place, but it’s a pretty cool video of Adam performing Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” in perhaps the gayest manner imaginable. Truly the only thing missing here is a vibrating plastic fist.

He sure can sing, though!

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American Idol (Mini) Recap: The Second 12

Sooooo, the U.S. government totally screwed me over by scheduling Obama’s speech on Tuesday. Idol had to move to Wednesday, and I was not expecting that. I had a bunch of other stuff scheduled for tonight, so I won’t be able to do the typical long-form Idol recap this week. But DON’T WORRY. I have plenty to say, and I’m going to make my points, I’ll just do it in shorter form. Here are my thoughts:

1) I think it’s interesting that they didn’t interview the contestants’ families on the red couch like they did last week. It was SO ANNOYING and it didn’t work AT ALL, and the producers obviously noticed that and implemented the change right away. THANK GOODNESS.

2) After seven seasons of having the judges talk in the order of Randy, Paula, Simon, now they’re switching it up so a different judge starts each time. I don’t quite get that. I liked that Simon always went last. I wonder whose idea it was to make that change. Kara’s?

3) I cannot believe how drugged up Paula is. Cannot believe it. Doesn’t she ever watch the tapes of herself and realize how ridiculous she looks? It’s mind-blowing that they keep renewing her contract so that she can go on live television and slur like the underage girl in the bar five minutes before she flashes the bartender.

4) Kara’s bracelet tonight? Is totally from Nicole Richie’s House of Harlow line. It’s on the Kitson website here. I turned to my friend the first instant they showed Kara and said, “I know that bracelet. It’s from Nicole Richie’s line.” And for that I am duly ashamed.

5) Allison Iraheta is probably going to win this whole competition. Un. Fucking. Believable. For a sixteen-year-old? What a natural. I’m in love. She even looks a little like Kelly Clarkson, and she came out of nowhere and gave me chills, just like Kelly did during her very first Idol performance. She’s definitely my favorite so far.

6) I really don’t think Megan Joy Corkrey is very good at all. Her performance was awful and the way she bops around on stage is embarrassing. I think the judges went easy on her because she’s so pretty, and we lost Casey Carlson last week, and it’s important for ratings that we have a total hottie in the Top 12. They should have torn her a new asshole, but they’re secretly hoping she sticks around to be eye candy.

7) I find Jesse Langseth to be super duper annoying. And I can’t believe the judges commented on how her look was an improvement. WTF did she look like before? That one-shoulder shirt was cheap and ugly and she was wearing the wrong bra — her tits were practically down around her waist.

8) So is Adam Lambert gay or what?

9) Love Nick Mitchell. LOVE him. (Not as much as I love Allison though.)

10) Jeanine Vailes is the reason they invented rhinoplasty. The instant she gets booted off the show tomorrow, that girl needs to run, not walk, to the nearest plastic surgeon and get that shit taken care of.

In summary, I think the three that get through will be Allison, Nick and Adam. I have a feeling we’re going to be looking at a male-intensive Top 12 this year, unless the producers pull some strings and make sure the wild cards are all girls, which I’m sure is exactly what they’re going to do.

Who did you guys vote for?