Oh, good ol’ Amber Portwood, that hot mess of a Teen Mom. It always seems like no matter what other trainwreck MTV has to offer, Amber always comes out on top, doesn’t it? And you might be like “no, no, Emily, didn’t you see Deena‘s ass crack?” And yes, I did, but I’m here to offer you irrefutable evidence that Amber Portwood is, in fact, MTV’s trashiest employee. I call it “irrefutable” because it comes from her own brother.
“Late this morning (11:34 a.m.), Anderson Police responded to a call at a residence in the 1300 block of Pleasant Meadow Drive. According to the caller, 21-year-old Amber L. Portwood was depressed and threatening to end her life. The victim, who did not appear to be injured, was transported to a local medical facility for further evaluation. An Anderson police source also confirms that the call was not made by Amber at her home, but by “a relative” at a different location, who advised the authorities to check on Amber. A source told Star [magazine] that the mother of Amber’s on-again, off-again boyfriend, Gary Shirley, made the phone call …
Well, I guess it’s nice that MTV decided to use their Teen Mom stars run a formal PSA about teen pregnancy (as opposed to the show, which is just one long, kind of unclear PSA about why you might not want to have a baby at 14), but I’ve learned nothing from it. No, that’s not true. I’ve learned that I’m happy I was raised to speak proper English and that I wasn’t allowed to dress like an overly made-up slore.
The intro to the PSA features one of the moms saying, “The night that I got pregnant, I wish that me and my boyfriend were cuddling and watching a movie,” and a moment later shows that Amber Portwood character saying something like, “I wish we had just relaxed.”
The only thing I like about this PSA is that finally, like, 12 seconds into the whole thing (it’s only 15 seconds long) someone brings up the idea of using protection. The whole thing was feeling like a hypocritical ad for abstinence until one of these geniuses had the sense to bring up the idea of not raw dogging.