Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Amber Portwood

Amber Portwood’s Brother Gives Some of The Realest Talk

A photo of Amber Portwood

Oh, good ol’ Amber Portwood, that hot mess of a Teen Mom. It always seems like no matter what other trainwreck MTV has to offer, Amber always comes out on top, doesn’t it? And you might be like “no, no, Emily, didn’t you see Deena‘s ass crack?” And yes, I did, but I’m here to offer you irrefutable evidence that Amber Portwood is, in fact, MTV’s trashiest employee. I call it “irrefutable” because it comes from her own brother.

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Breaking: Amber Portwood Tries to Commit Suicide

photo of amber portwood mugshot pictures photos

According to sources at Radar Online:

“Late this morning (11:34 a.m.), Anderson Police responded to a call at a residence in the 1300 block of Pleasant Meadow Drive. According to the caller, 21-year-old Amber L. Portwood was depressed and threatening to end her life. The victim, who did not appear to be injured, was transported to a local medical facility for further evaluation. An Anderson police source also confirms that the call was not made by Amber at her home, but by “a relative” at a different location, who advised the authorities to check on Amber. A source told Star [magazine] that the mother of Amber’s on-again, off-again boyfriend, Gary Shirley, made the phone call …

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‘Teen Mom’ PSA a Fights Teen Pregnancy, Intelligence

Well, I guess it’s nice that MTV decided to use their Teen Mom stars run a formal PSA about teen pregnancy (as opposed to the show, which is just one long, kind of unclear PSA about why you might not want to have a baby at 14), but I’ve learned nothing from it. No, that’s not true. I’ve learned that I’m happy I was raised to speak proper English and that I wasn’t allowed to dress like an overly made-up slore.

The intro to the PSA features one of the moms saying, “The night that I got pregnant, I wish that me and my boyfriend were cuddling and watching a movie,” and a moment later shows that Amber Portwood character saying something like, “I wish we had just relaxed.”

First of all, it’s “my boyfriend and I,” and secondly, the last thing you need to do, Amber, is relax. Why not hit the gym, read a book or wash all that graffiti off of your car?

The only thing I like about this PSA is that finally, like, 12 seconds into the whole thing (it’s only 15 seconds long) someone brings up the idea of using protection. The whole thing was feeling like a hypocritical ad for abstinence until one of these geniuses had the sense to bring up the idea of not raw dogging.

Ugh, what the hell is wrong with people?