Look who’s behind the DJ booth now.

Just look.

Oh no.

It’s happening all over again, you guys.

Oh, God, they’re actually doing this.

E! is set to begin filming on Living Lohan, a reality series which will follow Mother of the Year Dina Lohan and daughter Ali as Ali tries to follow in Lindsay Lohan’s footsteps. Because, you know, who wouldn’t want a life like Lindsay Lohan? Doesn’t she just seem so happy all the time? Yes, I’d want to do whatever it takes to get to the point where I’m back on cocaine after my third stint in rehab. Guide me, Dina Lohan. Help me to live a life as joyous as Lindsay’s.

Anyway, filming’s beginning by following Clan Lohan to Las Vegas, where Ali’s going to begin work on her already-doomed solo album for Interscope Records.

Dina’s sons, Cody and Michael, will also make appearances in the series, but Lindsay has no plans to participate. As least she’s making some good decisions.

I guess 14-year-old Ali Lohan thinks she’s “making a name for herself.”

Which is totally true, if by “making a name for herself” she means “being Lindsay Lohan’s little sister.”

Ali’s being featured in the new issue of Teen Vogue — which you should buy only because Blake Lively’s on the cover — and boy does she have some disturbing things to say.

Here’s what she has to say about her impending doom fame:

I want it so bad. So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening … I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.

Oh, I don’t even know where to start on this.

First, let’s discuss what’s “actually happening” for Ali right now. She’s co-starring in an upcoming reality TV show with her crazy-ass mother, which Lindsay Lohan is basically refusing to participate in, so the thing’s gonna crash and burn. She’s kinda-sorta thinking about releasing an album, which will fail if it ever gets made, and — to top it all off — she might audition for High School Musical 3! Jesus. Christ. You’ve just described the life of every 14-year-old in the greater Los Angeles area. Honestly, I think that’s how most agents are pitching themselves to the under-20 crowd these days. “I might be able to get you an audition for High School Musical 3!” Let’s just put Ali’s name on an Emmy right now.

And then let’s talk about this: “Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

Yes, exactly, Ali. What you need to start doing at this age is formulating a sense of self-worth based entirely on the misguided feelings of people who never have and never will meet you. At 14, it’s important to be viewed as larger-than-life — deified, almost — by total strangers. That way, when what you feel inside doesn’t even begin to compare with the image the public has created for you, you can have a total meltdown by age 17 and become a raging, self-destructive alcoholic. It’s all worked out so well for Lindsay. I can imagine why you’d want the same.

Take a hint from Jamie-Lynn, Ali — just get knocked up and move on with your life.

Today, Leggings Lohan attended traffic school.

Then, she and her sister, Leggings Lohan II, went to lunch at La Scala.

How lovely.

Seriously, can we just start shipping these people where they need to go in freight trains?

It would be safer!

The latest Lohan to be involved in a traffic accident is lil’ sis Ali, age 13, who was in a car crash on Friday night after sneaking out of the family’s Long Island house to meet her 16-year-old boyfriend, who had a learner’s permit.

Two people were slightly injured in the accident, but Ali was fine, and was able to fly out to Utah this week to visit big sis Lindsay in rehab.

How long until Ali’s there, too?

I give her a year!

The title of this post is an actual lyric on this truly heinous CD by Ali Lohan.Click here to get a sample of one of her hot holiday tracks.
Looking on Amazon.com, this CD is selling for the bargain basement price of $10. With that $10 you get to hear such classics as.

1. Christmas Day
2. I Like Christmas
3. Winter Wonderland
4. Christmas Magic
5. Jingle Bells
6. Groove of Christmas
7. Lohan Holiday – Ali Lohan, Lindsay Lohan
8. Deck the Halls
9. Silent Night – Ali Lohan, Dina Lohan
10. Santa’s Reindeer Ride – Amy Grant, Ali Lohan
11. We Wish You a Merry Christmas – Ali Lohan, Dina Lohan
12. I Like Christmas [Remix][*]

“I Like Christmas”- creative Ali. “Groove of Christmas”-a little frightening. “Lohan Holiday”- WTF? Are we are going to hear about Lindsay and her baby sister getting wasted at the Chateau Marmont before trying to score some killer weed, then finding out their mom is too hungover and forgot to buy them the right Louis Vuitton bag for Christmas? Though I have to say the track that frightens me the most is “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” with a cameo by Dina Lohan. Classic.
A great stocking stuffer for the holidays.