Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Alexis Neiers

Oh, So Alexis Neiers’ Sister is Addicted to Heroin, Too

Remember the Bling Ring? Alexis Neiers, the chick who basically headed up the whole thing and then got that E! show Pretty Wild, she’s in rehab for heroin addiction. That happened like a month ago after the cops busted her with a balloon full of the stuff. Then yesterday we learned that her sister Tess Taylor, who also starred on Pretty Wild, is also in rehab for heroin addiction. What the fuck is going on with this family?

Alexis and Taylor’s mother, Andrea Arlington, made a statement about Tess’s rehab stay, saying, “Approximately two weeks ago after a lot of coaxing from sister Alexis and myself, and after almost losing her life, Tess contacted Greg Hannley, owner of the SOBA Recovery center in Malibu and asked for help.”

She also said that her daughter was down to just 93 lbs. by the time she finally agreed to go into treatment.

Uhhh, look. I’ve never personally dealt with a situation like this, so you’ll have to pardon my ignorance, but how does this even happen? Are these girls this way because of shitty parenting, over or underexposure to the finer things or some sort of lethal combination? My suburban Massachusetts brain can’t even begin to wrap itself around this kind of behavior.

I Have Career Advice For Alexis Neiers

Alexis Neiers to Pen Book

I just saw that Bling Ring Queen Bee, Alexis Neiers is planning on writing a book and I was all, “Where can I buy a copy and will she be doing a signing at The Grove Barnes & Noble?”

Then I continued to read and was very disappointed to find out that homegirl thinks she’s going to write a fiction jumpoff.

From TMZ:

The description, we’re told, reads in part: “Think Gossip Girl goes to Hollywood — It is a cautionary tale as well as a guilty pleasure; the reader is plunged into the crazy, out-of-control world of one of Hollywood’s most infamous party girls.” Oddly, no mention of her being an ex-con.

Guuuuurrrrl. No! NO! I will not stand for this. The only book that Alexis Neiers needs to write is her memoirs. I want to read the memoirs of a barely legal burglar from a wealthy family and that’s all I want to read.

That’s the rule in general for celebrity books. I want to read whatever that famous person thinks is the most balanced, honest and interesting representation of themselves and then I want to laugh at it. Jennifer Love Hewitt’s dating book is like, off the chains insane. And have you read Tori Spellings books? Bitch is on one. You know whose memoirs I really enjoyed, though? Faith Evans. She had a ghostwriter and it read a little bit like she was trying to do a Maya Angelou impression, but there was some solid stuff in there.

While were here, does anyone have any good celebrity memoir recommendations for me?

Alexis Neiers Lets Me Down

I was so excited about this girl being in the cell next to Lindsay’s and the BFF adventures they would inevitably have, the relationship that would grow out of their common bond of being questionably entitled fashionistas in ugly jumpsuits.  But I guess that just wasn’t meant to be.

Here’s what Alexis said when asked if Lindsay was crying:

“I could start hearing like what was going on in there, I tried to just, really just keep to myself and the last thing I really want to hear, you know, when you’re trying to be so strong and just get through the day.”

First of all, use your words, Alexis Neiers.  If you can’t communicate better than that, you’re going to have a tough time parlaying your thievery into more undeserved fame. Secondly, way to make a stupid choice.  When ol’ Fire Crotch herself is crying within hearing distance of you and when you are so clearly a fame whore, you grab onto that opportunity with all that you’ve got.  I’m disappointed, Alexis, I really am.

Lindsay Lost Her Roomie

And not the guy in the gold shirt.  But oh, how I wish it could have been the guy in the gold shirt…

Alexis Neiers, the girl with the roses and the balloon animal and also the girl that was living in the cell next to Lindsay Lohan’s, was released from jail yesterday after serving just 30 days of her 180-day sentence.  You know, the sentence she received for breaking into Orlando Bloom’s house (she also broke into Lindsay’s house, but she didn’t go to court for that one). Although it’s incredibly lame that she got out of jail so soon, she will have to pay up to $600,000 in restitution and she’s going to be on probation for three years, so I guess that’s something.

This is all so tragic for Lindsay, though.  Who is she going to talk to during those lonesome days, locked up in her cell with nary a friend in sight?  Who is she going to laugh with over the less fortunate, less attractive women in the cells around them? And most importantly, if Alexis served such a small fraction of her original sentence, when is Lindsay really going to get out?

Bling Ring’s Queen Bee Begins Her Jail Sentence

Alexis Neiers Turns Herself In To Police

While Bling Ring leader Alexis Neiers was initially rewarded for her shitty behavior by getting her own E! show, Pretty Wild, she now is seeing the down side of robbing homes: Jail. Homegirl turned herself in to the police this morning to begin her six month sentence.

So many things are truly sad about this story. The materialism and greed that motivated the crimes, the lack of innocence these young kids have and the fact that their families seem nonplussed by their kids’ names appearing in headlines. Also, Alexis testified in court that she was so intoxicated while committing these crimes that she actually paused to vomit and urinate in the bushes of Orlando Bloom’s house after ransacking it. This girl doesn’t just need jail time, she needs major help.

Alexis will be placed in the same Lynwood, CA jail where Paris Hilton served her sentence a couple years ago. Let’s hope they kept it nice for her.

That Burglar Bunch Chick Got Sentenced to 180 Days in Jail

Alexis Neiers, one of the young woman associated with the Burglar Bunch, was sentenced to 180 days in prison this morning after pleading “no contest”. She also will be on probation for the next three years. Today’s case was specifically linked to the burglary of actor Orlando Bloom’s home, where Alexis and her friends ripped off over $600,000 worth of merchandise.

Thankfully Alexis is being held accountable for her actions. Immediately after the story of several Valley teens breaking into celebrity homes to steal their clothing in accessories broke, E! rewarded Alexis by giving her her own show. Just a month ago Alexis and her sister were out and up to their old tricks and I asked if it was reasonable on any level to promote this kind of behavior. Well, I’m glad at least one LA court agrees that it’s not.

Alexis is ordered to surrender herself by June 24th, so let’s hope they finish filming Pretty Wild by then.

It Turns Out That Rewarding a Deviant With a Reality Television Show Does Not Teach Them Any Lessons

Last summer everyone was talking about the Burglar Bunch, a group of Los Angeles teenagers who broke in to several celebrity homes (Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge and Paris Hilton, to name a few) to steal clothing, jewelry and other stupid, kind of meaningless shit. Two of the girls involved in the theft, Alexis Neiers and her sister Tess Taylor, were given an E! reality show as a result of all the hoopla, a questionable move but not something completely unheard of for the network. One word: Taradise.

And boy are these two delivering! This story of another heist that went down while the ladies were hosting a night at an Atlanta club popped up on TMZ today:

Sources close to the girls (and multiple club employees) tell TMZ during the course of the evening, the “Pretty Wild” sisters went to the employee lounge several times to use the bathroom. At the end of the evening, the girls were stopped by security and their purses were searched.

We’re told security found the ID of a female employee and around $200 cash (allegedly belonging to the employee) in Alexis’ purse. Cops were called.

The story goes on to explain that the sisters played dumb and were let go after the employee was given back her property. TMZ doesn’t mention if the cameras were rolling while all of this is going on, but I would assume that this incident will be played out on their show. This is, after all, their whole bit.

Generally these shows are harmless, if not kind of great. Look at how well things worked out with those Kardashian sisters. But what are we watching Pretty Wild for? If I wanted to see vapid nobodies doing morally bankrupt things on E!, I’d ask for the Olly Girls back. (Miss you, Olly Girls.)